If I could share a similar story/give advice on your specific situation, I would. Fortunately, I can only give advice on what I have seen and heard from other people who have had….repressive...environments...Not having first hand knowledge, my advice would be to attempt and find some outlet - some area where you can speak - possibly a therapist (where you have confidentiality and won't have to be worried about being outed before you are ready and able to come out without repercussion). At least with that outlet you can get some of the issues off of your chest that might be bottling up and release some of the inner tension. I would hope that being able to speak freely could ease your personal feelings and the therapist might be able to provide some strategies for dealing with the stress I'm assuming would come from not being able to be yourself, in addition to possibly helping you find a way to come out or advice on the right time to do so.
Most people would suggest that you get in touch with some of the LBGT groups and centers around you...however, if you do so....you may be outed unintentionally (hence why i'm suggesting a confidential setting).
Good luck and feel free to message me if you want to talk 🙂