Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
Today I found my first grey pubic hair. I got really upset, but not as much as the other people in the elevator.
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's interesting how many people bring a knife on a date.
My friend surprised me on my birthday with a book called "Road kill recipes". I did find some roadkill the other day, so I tried a recipe, and it was delicious. I'm not sure what to do with the bicycle though.
I took away my ex's wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back to me?
My ex had an accident. I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for him. Finally he’ll experience what rejection is really like.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital for a gunshot wound, and I got my hunting license revoked.
I've been missing my ex a lot. I really should check the accuracy of the laser sight.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand disinfectant. The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand disinfectant anymore.