It doesn't have to be a real animal, fictional.
I see myself as an Arctic Fox, because I imagine myself being both elusive and strangely attractive to those around me.

I've slept with 40 different guys, and I can honestly say there's no shame to it.  :bpr:
Most of them were Caucasians and Europeans, but I bent over for Australians, South Americans, and this one super hot Asian Fuck Boy.

@charlesperr:

I did join normal dating websites. It results in:
1. Send me your face pic, you are hot/cute, send me cock pics, lets bang. I'm not going to say 'no' if he's hot.
2. Send me your face pic, you look nice but I'm only looking for dates, I agree, we meet up at my place, I start talking and they jump on me like they have never had sex in their life (happened today actually).
3. Let's date, then they ask 1 million questions, then never meet up with you. Or swap tonnes of face pics then vanish. Time wasters in general.
4. Rejections (but rarely I care about this as the ones I like tend to reply).

I'm a top too so I feel sometimes guys just use me for a bang as there are too many gay guys who are up to give up their bottom but not actually do any of the work lol.

The guy I really liked beyond sexually was the Aussie guy. He spoke about how he wanted to settle, we seemed on the same tangent, we kept in touch after our shag once he was bak in Melbourne, but now he's totally vanished too despite saying I could stay with him over xmas this year. Idk what is going on

Its not even like I want to marry / settle with anyone in a massive committed way - just a bf at this point would be great. Idk why I am struggling so much to get one when nearly every other dude on grindr is 'partnered' or 'in a relationship'. Wtf.

I would suggest trying to interact with the Aussie guy this Christmas. Confront him about your feelings? Ask about why he hasn't contacted you for a long time?

If you want to get in a relationship with him, at elast try your hardest before branching out.

I can understand where you're coming from sweetie, I also had an extremely hard time trying to find a guy that was grounded enough to settle down with me. Before I got my boyfriend, I was kind of like you. Except, I didn't really use Grindr to get with guys, it was more of me flirting or seducing guys when I went out to college parties. And the novelty of waking up in a bed with more than one person wore down really quickly. Those were during my college years, deep throating athletes, being gangbanged by a fraternity I wasn't even pledged to, and more.

When I finally graduated(three years ago) I found myself travelling a lot more because of my work, and whenever a I got into a different country, I would always make it a point to find some gay club, bar, or district to find a guy that would pound me into oblivion. The novelty of foreign penis never wore down, but everything was so casual and that felt wrong to me.

I realized I wanted something more. Kind of like what you and it took me two years or searching. I myself through a non-casual sex cleanse and went out looking for a guy with the standards I set myself. Because, it starts with flirting and looks, but it's how you interact with a person. You have to look, act and talk like you want more than just a casual bang. Refusing first date sex and one night stands is key in finding the solution to your problems. Try a few gay bars, maybe a dating site or group. It's definitely going to take a while, because not everyone will match your standards, but it'll increase your perspective on how to find guys that want to have a relationship and maybe, settle down the future. You also need to present yourself beyond your looks and general hotness, because men who want to settles down want to see more than just your body

And, always each time you try, always convince yourself that this time will be better the the last. I know it sounds corny but it helps.

The gay community is continuously evolving and young gays are enjoying the more casual side of sex, and a lot of them don't outgrow that specific. It may take you longer to find what your looking for, but it'll be worth it when you do. Trust me.