He was jailed for parole violation when he relapsed and was using drugs again, and that's the last thing in the news, some years ago…

Beating off is something that happens in my head, and is good "alone time". Sex with another person happens outside my head, and is a different thing altogether.

What about getting it soaking wet first so that the water it contains boils?

This is one situation where Don't Ask Don't Tell actually seems to be a good thing.

Pooping!

Is there a way to back track from posted ads and see if they are connected to his email account?

Ho old was your first sexual experience?

Do anonymous hookups still happen in public parks, toilets, and the traditional places that people used to look for quick, casual encounters?

Is there any danger of freeballing desensitizing the tip of the penis or glans over time? Asking for a friend…    ;D

Agreed. This is one area where professional quality matters