Hi - if you've had soreness for over a year I'd get a medically qualified person to look at that such as a physiotherapist or similar.  I think you need to find out what's going on there first before possibly aggravating it, as if its rotar cuff related that can take a while to heal and if aggravated will cause a lot of ongoing injuries that will limit what you can do in the gym and certain sports like swimming and tennis for example.

Definitely get it checked out.  If it's muscle soreness after a weight training workouts that you know are causing it, build up with smaller weights and don't rush it.  Warm up and cool down to help remove lactic acid.

It's because you said it's been going on for a while makes me think you need a physio/osteo to check it out.  They'll treat it/give you remedial exercises to improve it and supporting tendons and so on.

Good luck!

Would you find him sexually attractive again if he became big through muscle growth ? If he's really finding happiness in losing a lot of weight through what sounds like heavy cardio work how about you start down the gym and ask him to join you on a program of weight resistance and muscle growth which is possible at his age.  Get some advice from gym instructors as he'd probably need supplementation to assist muscle growth aong the lines of BCAA/Protein.  Do some reasearch for him and maybe try stuff out yourself that he can see is working for you (which should happen faster as you're younger than him).  As it sounds like his cardio-vascular system is in much better shape nowadays he'd respond well to muscle growth stimulus which would also support his health in the years ahead.  That way he'd feel fantastic and you'd get your BIG MAN back complete with the relationship being on a better level while losing nothing (except the things that were risking his health and happiness).

What do you think ?

There was one passive machine in a gym I used to go to which seemed to work by vibration.  It was interesting and I tried it 2 or 3 times but it seemed to have no impact on fat burning or muscle stores.  I wouldn't buy one.

I think the body will burn carbohydrates as its first preference for fuels.  If there's no simple carbs available (due to your dieting) and consequently eventually after glycogen stores are gone, muscle stores are used as fuel and you want to preserve the muscle mass you have then I think you'll have to increase your weight resistance workouts (to build that muscle back up) and take Branch Chain Amino Acids (BCAA) before your workout.  They'll help stop muscle mass being burnt as fuel.  Something like a banana and sugar free yoghurt might be an idea straight after your weight resistance workouts.

What are you trying to achieve by the diet ?  Is it fat loss ?  If so then you might find a balanced diet (0 refined sugars) with High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) is more effective at burning fat as a fuel source and the improvements in fat metabolism continue for many hours afterwards. Don't underestimate good sleep too and dealing with stress as the stress hormone cortisol will encourage fat stores. I'd recommend HIIT and Weight Training in each session - try that for a few weeks and see if that achieves what you wanted in the diet.

Alternatively go through that diet till it achieves its aims then go back to a zero refined sugar, low GI carb, quality protein (oily fish for example) Kind of eating habit - (Omega 3 rich oils I think can only help too) till you're happy you're eating right.  Then start on a muscle building program with a Gym instructor who's qualified to give you a program that will do that.  Remember to build up the weight training loads slowly to avoid injury.  I think you might want to keep eggs and proteins prominently in the diet around that time.  I wouldn't rely on just a diet if it's fat loss you're after.  Ideally I'd do the things I said in the first and second paragraph.  I think how effective HIIT is, with ZERO downside will amaze you - your cardiovascular fitness and fat burning ability will shoot up quickly.  Weight training on top will build good lean muscle and set up for a later Bulk and Cut regime if that's what you want…..Good luck!

So sorry for your pain and loss Oscar. How awful for you.  I hope your family and friends support you Oscar

Hi Wolfyboy00 - I really feel for you.  Can you remember back to the days before you first met that guy ?  Can you remember fun things you did before you knew him like Sport or Music or other friends ?  If you can re-ignite your interests from those days it may help with what your feeling now because time WILL heal your pain.  I hope you remember that the things that made you attractive in the first place STILL make you attractive !  I hope you recover quickly and find someone you deserves you, and you'll be all the more stronger and wiser from what you've learned about yourself from that horrible experience.

I don't know if this helps but…. if you tried to get more social (which led to more friends and the possibility of a relationship) and that didn't work out then the worst that could happen is you'd be on your own just as you are now.  So there's nothing to lose.
I hope it works out for you.

try High intensity interval training (HIIT)

cut

I think you can be gay and religious, just as you can have blue eyes and be religious as religion is a choice but being gay is not.
Religion is concerend with many things around and outside us rather than the limited scope of our sexuality.
Above all I think it's important to be honest with yourself.