Depression, anxiety, sleepiness
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Guys, what are your ways to deal with depression and related stuff? I'm just curious. I've been living with depression for more than 10 years now. Kinda tired of trying the same things that doesn't really help long-term.
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I don't know what you've tried, so it's hard to suggest things you haven't. That said though, some things that have helped me are the following:
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Don't be afraid to call bullshit on yourself.
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Give yourself time to deal with things. You need to let yourself have time to be depressed and even to be anxious. But don't allow it to go on for more than it should have. It does not deserve that; you control it and allow it, not the other way around. When it's had its time, it needs to move on and let you live your life without its influence.
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If you're sleepy, sleep. Your body needs sleep and is communicating this need. Both depression and anxiety tend to make this need greater, but that's not for any illusory reason. Stress will make your body need sleep, and sleep will help you to recover your energy and heal from illness. Depression and anxiety are illnesses, and resting will help you to gather your energy to fight it.
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Don't hesitate to create a space that makes you feel as comfortable as possible. This will help you to be able to deal with these things.
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Breathe. It's a fundamental thing and something that many forget in the grip of stress and anxiety, and even depression. Practicing what is known as cleansing breaths can be tremendously centering, and it can help so much in dealing with mental and emotional distress!
I hope these help!
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Oh interesting…
Alright, well, here goes the contradicting recommendations....When you have consistent depression (rather than incidental), you might want to look into your biological dispositions.
Aka Major Depression; which really isn't a major magnitude of incidental depression, but is categorized as a biological cause.Meaning, some people have naturally higher levels of stimulants/neurotransmitters, while others have lower.
For example, people with major depression but might have a harder time getting up, and often don't remember the memories of their mornings.
Others do not have any trouble at all as long as they get enough sleep, and am fully awake-awake in the morning.We all have our vices: some people love stimulant drugs like caffeine, nicotine, cocaine, adderall etc.
While others prefer depressants like Ketamine, Alcohol, G, etc.The very reason different people find different substances "pleasurable" is because their brain chemistry is different.
If you have a deficiency, providing stimulants causes euphoria. If you have a surplus, further stimulation will cause "pain."Ever wonder how there's some people that prefer and thrive in chaotic environments like a busy kitchen or a nightclub job, while others might get overwhelmed by the same environment? Also, some prefer to be in quiet cubicles, while others will kill themselves if they did.
Same thing.
For me, what has worked is pretty much the opposite of Moonmonday said...
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I NEVER let myself sleep. If I let myself sleep as much as my body claims to need, there's no end, and it usually brings me further down into depression. Instead, what I started doing was making sure I sleep a certain amount of hours. Also, going back to a normal and regular sleep schedule, rather than 7am-4pm kinda deal certainly helped.
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Sunlight. Kinda goes in hand with the above. It helped me regular my sleep schedule, especially during the winter.
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Vitamin D. Especially if you live in an area without much sun, or you are an indoor person, etc.
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General supplementation.
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Exer-the fuck-size. The ONLY thing that has really worked of me, is exercising. I would be drowsy as hell, no drive, no appetite, just feeling meh. Then I hit the gym, and afterwards, somehow I'm all chirpy and feeling like I'm down to do shit.
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Depression and anxiety are a tough nut, but you are not alone. As someone who has suffered with these ailments for most of my life, this is how I handle them.
Exercise, particularly bicycling, gives me clarity. For me, it's exhilarating to pedaling on an open road. I find the rhythm and fresh air comforting. Plus, it gets the happy endorphins flowing. Weight lifting is the way I cope with self-image issues. It took me a while to learn how to meditate, but now its part of my daily routine.
Surround yourself with positive people who accept you as you are. Everyone else is just dead weight.
Having a good therapist or trusted friend who you can talk to without judgement is key. I assume you are on an anti-depressant. Anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs are not a panacea, but they definitely help fend off the gloom and doom.
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Wow. You guys really tried hard didn't you? I'm surprised and glad.
Geez, when I was starting that topic I wanted it to be more general. But when I read it again it really looks like I have a problem hehe
I didn't want to make this topic particularly about me, more like a group of advice for people in the same situation as we are. But I'll refer to some of those.moonmonday, I really think you have a point. All those things that you pointed out seem to be very logical and make a lot of sense. It's funny though that cwamoon said he's doing everything in the opposite. Meaning that yeah, everyone of us just reacts differently and it would be hard to find some universal things that will work on everybody.
Sleeping yeah. I think you have a point, but in depression it feels like wasting time. That you just don't do anything productive. So maybe you're right that you need to sleep but also cwamoon says he only sleep when he needs to, and that maybe a good way too, just do something useful, don't waste your life. If it's me I have sleepy episodes all the time but I try not to sleep because I have that weird thing that I just can't sleep during the day. Nightmares and very weird nostalgic and disturbing stimulus from my brain turn on and I just have to open my eyes despite being exhausted. And I can't sleep at night either so mostly will just wait until like 2-3 am to be really tired and sleepy and then go or will just turn over from one side to the other not blinking an eye. I noticed it's totally related to my mental state. Whenever some cases with my ex pop up I have those episodes. Even when we were meeting I just couldn't sleep in another room. I would just stay awake and stuff. We didn't want to sleep together because it was too fast but I just came from my bed to his when it was like 4 am and then I could sleep. So maybe I'd say try to work some stuff out in your mind in the first place ? Did anyone of you tried some pill for sleeping during that states?
Friends - yeah everybody mentions that. I thought I had a lot of friends for years. Now I just hm… about that dead weight. I tried to exclude all the people that texted me for their interests or that didn't talk to me first and I woke up with a really close circle. You know. Sometimes I have friends and we just won't meet for months because they are so busy with their lives while I just sit there bored. I have some best friends that would be always there for me but they are either abroad or far away. Not fair. But about not judging, yeah, heh, my friend texted me in the night yesterday and asked if everything's okay with our friend (he tried to kill himself) and then about me. And I was like: "yeah...he's all good. and you? I'm... i'm not fine." She asked why I didn't say anything earlier. And I was thinking about it. People with depression really want to be helped. But they just won't ask for help. It seems I don't know kind of humiliating ? Maybe that's not the word. But a lot of people (my ex including) think that suicide attempts are just to get some attention. It is a sign yeah, but you can't say that. I asked him "have you been pushed so much that you actually tried to do it? no? so you don't know nothing". It is so easy to judge and call people cowards, but just think how much your life must be fucked to give up on it and not see any other option to get through. They say people seek attention, well they don't. They just tried to kill themself because it was their own decision and they didn't tell you about depression and the whole thing because they don't want to be called attention whores. So you just hope someone will magically know that you need that help. What's you stand on this ?
Oh and that's another thing. Exercise. Eating. Living healthy. No. Okay I can believe that it works on most of the people, but it's also not a definite winner. I train. I lift stuff. I exercise 5 times a week. There was a time I did like 3 trainings a day. I tried to stay busy. I had all of the vitamins and minerals in pill forms and form vegs and stuff. I had an optimally configured diet without any harmful micronutrients and I also had taken vitamin C and D. Depression was still there. But I get you. It's the first things I say too. When someone has depression or just a down state I would say - "go train, go take a walk, talk to a friend, eat healthy, relax, do something for yourself" but yeah now I turned out to be a hypocrite because that stopped working on me.
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well it's easy:I had : paroxetine, citalopram, escitalopram, venlafaxine , and brand new vortioxetine for years and years since I'm 18
Also for sleeping cyamemazine, zolpidem, lormetazepam, meprobamate, even chloral
for anxiety : bromazepam
and of course you can have in small amount of aripiprazole to enhance antidepressant effect
with all that one should be a bit "more happy than not" ( funny title of a book gay related by Adam silvera )
But I agree with cwamoon ; Omega 3 is essential ( forced fed by shrinks along B vitamins and glutamine and D vitamin indeed yes). also shrink never want you to sleep when you feel like it coz it screw up your sleep cycles. so melatonin before sleeping might be good also. and yes Talking to some therapist along the meds is essential. being doing that at very least once a month since I'm 16 and I'm still alive. -
talk to friends and sing aloud
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It depends.
Sometimes people don't even have friends to turn to. Or they are just wolves in sheep's clothing. For example I had few friends that I at some point (after few years) realized only came to me when they had problems but it didn't work both ways.
Also there can be some friends who will just undervalue your problems and say you should "just get over it" or "start worrying about more important things" or just "stop complaining". When depression isn't about complaining to begin with.I agree with singing aloud though
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CBT and books about CBT methods can help ( CBT :cognitive behavioral therapy ). like you need to rethink what you think is true, turn around thoughts etc. like "feeling good" by David burns. (book recommended by Nick Dubin ).
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well, I'm bipolar, I go to the psychiatrist and take some pills, Depakote, Lamitor (I don't if they have the same names where you live), I also go to psychoanalist (I'm a trainned psychoanalist myself, and I'm getting my second master's degree on psychoanalysis). Besides that, there are many things that help me, I love music, reading, movies, tv series, I try to be healthy, I've lost a lot of weight recently following the Weight Watchers program, it's nice because you eat better, it encourages use to exercie (I walk), and you have the support of the group. As far as friends are concerned it's really hard to have good friends around, I can relate to that, but you're better off alone than with people who don't really care about you. I've moved to another city to be near my family, it was a smart choice. If you are lucky it's nice to have a boyfriend, but it can also be a major source of suffering, so chose wisely. I'm also catholic, I belong to a gay catholic group, it helps me. It's always nice to be helpful, I try to help as much as I can, young people, hiv+ patients, I fight for LGBT rights, and all my studies are related to social issues, the current one about transgender people. Even doing all these things, it's still a daily fight, so all I can say is: keep strong, and do whatever you can, don't pay attention to other people's judgement, the only person who truly knows how you feel is yourself. BTW, my best friends are two bipolar women I've met online through orkut. They live in different cities but we travel to meet each other and are always in touch. Good luck! :hug2:
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i thought u were just having a bad time…....but living with depression for 10 more years? really？ :afr:
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I KNOW THIS MESSAGE IS BLACK COCK LONG BUT YOU CAN READ IT LIKE A FANFIC ACTUALLY
(I mean it's not really a reply it's a story)Well you know it's not something I mention or use to introduce myself. Though I actually tell you everything including how I feel, what I think and what I've been through, maybe we just didn't circle around that one topic.
Yeah I'm struggling with depression for more than 10 years.
Ok I'll brief you, maybe writing about it in public will help so if anyone can read, go ahead.
I don't have anything to do either way cause it's an evening here so maybe I'll open myself. Sorry.I don't know what's the source though. I should go to the rapist… I'm sorry to therapist, I know, but I just don't want to. So I didn't figure out the source yet. It started after a primary school. I felt really empty and shattered when it hit me that I won't get to be around my friends anymore. + some people just turned out to be fakes and stuff. And accidents like this kept coming. People would betray and stuff. It was ok when I lived in my first neighborhood cause there were a lot of kids to play with and I spent all my time outside. But when I moved I didn't have any outside to go. So I would stay in my room watching anime or playing video games and living in this dark, nostalgic kind of, weird, strange world I've locked myself in. I lived in a bubble and had like 100000 friends. But then life started to verify it I began being use because of my good heart and I was doing all I could to keep those friends and to make them happy but it was all a game to them. Well maybe it was because I was too hasty with calling someone a friend. That was probably what was wrong on my end too. I was too naive for people. Trusted too much. I really had a pure heart back then.
Then my lovely uncle died. I didn't really see him often but he was so important to us. Something changed. I got a lot of responsibilities and no one even cared. I remember a situation when we had a group task in a class and I was working all the time in the class and then put all of the devices we used to a box and asked somebody from the team to return it. They didn't but I was already talking with my friend and the teacher noticed it and kind of started throwing shit at me that I don't have any responsibilities in my life and I don't do anything at all and I can't throw a fucking box away even though all other 5 people didn't give a damn. That was harsh because my uncle died and my dog was sick too (died a little later...) and I had German-African family in my house as a guest and I had all my mind wrapped about them and like touring them and making dinner or going to groceries and the bitch just said I don't have any fucking responsibilities. I guess I just didn't feel understood. My older brothers used to fight a lot too. Sometimes they wouldn't even think about me or care they would just throw a fight and it was always brutal. Like some things were broken around the house, they will bleed or the windows would just break. I would find a place in the house to hide and just cried. Sometimes mum would find me and hug me and tell me it's okay.
I think I had anemia too. I was really skinny. I understand it now actually - no vitamins, no diet, junk food, no exercising. All the time with games or on the computer. The other members of my family were gone too my aunt and brothers left abroad an my dad wasn't ever there, so there was me and mom most of my life. I had a lot of friends but I would also be picked on a lot. Because I'm half polish half asian. Yeah. You guys reading this from UK or US might think it's insane and not a big thing... Well it is here. It's changing now but 20 years ago Poland wasn't really tolerant. I would be often call just casually Chinese (no pun intended bearlove
) but in really nasty way. Don't know how to translate it. It's funny because I was never bullied like really, really bullied, only verbally with people who found it funny that there's a half Asian. I remember in primary school someone asked me about it like "are you okay with it? how are you living with it. are you happy?" and I said "yes…I am, cause otherwise someone else would have to go through it. and I know I'm strong enough to live with ti". But it wasn't as bright later in other schools. My enthusiasm would perish and I would just turn to be the bully myself.In high school almost no one picked on me. But still. I would have had a lot of friends and then there was one week that I just seen it all being so false and fake that I backed out. And the truth is no one really followed me. No one cared. So I was stuck with this one girl who was the pretiest girl in 400 000 town and she was always so loyal to me. She would do anything I'd say. So we sticked together and hated everyone and make fun of them and I would just build a wall with an irony and scepticism and that was it. I wasn't happy though. I had some suicide attempts actually. I forgot to say. I tried to have my way with Jesus and church and stuff. But it didn't help me at all. My mom is such a christian so almost all my life we went to church and I was on camps and things like that and it just didn't work... I didn't feel it. Sometimes I just pretended I do.
I found out I fancied a straight guy from my class and that's when all hell broke loose. We had a really good relations. It was all I could focus on. I was happy every Wednesday because it was IT class and it was the only time that everybody was so consumed with playing Counter Strike that I could actually just come to him form behind while he was playing and just embrace and hug him and no one even cared. We became close spend some time together, few parties, few nights. I told him I love him. He was ok with it but I couldn't just convince him to try. He sometimes wouldn't show up at meetings. He would say one thing and then another the next day. Make all the excuses and stuff. He would go and be drunk and not answer his phone till the next noon and I would be scared to death because I already set us up with my friends that wanted to meet him and I'd think something bad happen. I know the problem was me being to emotional and sensitive. But it was just a lot to take for my heart. I became really paranoid and had mental breakdown. Like I would just start to suffocate and cry in one second and couldn't breathe properly and pass out. Or I would destroy objects and go in a fury mode. I had few crushes before and it was always straight guys and I just couldn't seduce them. Not being able to find a right guy really made me swim deeper into my depression. It became my top priority. I started to care less about anyone else and always hoped I would have a man and that was the most important thing in the world. Then I had really bad 5 years studying and it took a lot of me. Sleepless nights because of studying and drawing projects I would have a lot of breakdowns. Then another crush but one of my friends saved me.
Geez this message is probably so long... But I would like to tell you about her. She was a girl from not so rich family and her boyfriend was her older brother classmate. They worked wonders really. She was always so stubborn with everything she did. I just didn't oppose her in anything because she had such a breakthrough tone. They helped me and I helped them. We were there for each other. When I would just go in a beast mode and kill everyone and tear apart she would hold me and hug me and take that all in. It's like she filled me with light everytime she was grasping me. She had that kind of vibe that was like : " I know it's not perfect and we're far from perfect... we're ugly and have scars and I know you're tired, I am too, but we will make it if we're there for each other". I even have a tear in my eye now when I think about her. She became a restaurant manager in 4 months. That's how good she was. I know she's made for greater things. But back to the topic.
I found music. I've been playing in a band for 6 or 7 years. It made me happy and our band was like family. I also had some things just to pour in emotions into. I was still not satisfied with so many things but doing gigs for people made me sooooooo happy. People would come to you and say they love your music. They would want you to sign their stuff. They'd say they came from far away just to see YOU. You know how it feels? You feel like maybe you're important to someone after all. We would start being noticed and gathered some prizes but then it just died. Well after all it still didn't solve the problem with depression. I also had a boyfriend for a year. That was a big and long-distance relationship and it was really mature. Sometimes boring. Too boring. He wasn't really attractive to me but there was some kind of feeling between us and we did a lot of stuff together. Had a lot of friends we would see everytime he would visit. We would go on trips or to Dublin and you know just live a life like being in a house for 10 days, babysitting a dog and do dinners and stuff and go sightseeing and travelling and then just lay on the couch and watch Family Guy and Veronica Mars. There's this line that keeps popping out everytime I think about it from Ben Howard's song "maybe it was peace at last...who knew?". It was calm. But calm is sometimes good too. I guess I needed that at that time. But we wanted something different. I wasn't happy, he didn't feel worthy enough.
I had a change last year's summer. Previously days would be like... hmm me just laying in bed and dying. Not doing anything productive. But I started working out. I started running. I wanted to be more active. To learn. To be. I loved the idea of escape rooms. Just going outside to eat ice creams with friends. That was one of the few times or even one times I can really remember this bold that I was feeling really good. I was like "I AM HAPPY" "it's good this way". This was the time my depression was actually suppressed. It's hard to describe it. With my depression comes a weird feeling I have hard time describing. It's like... really. It's like NOSTALGIA. Like I can smell it and feel it in the air. In the summer it's just like being dried on a pan by sharp sun rays that pass through my window. It feels really dry and dusty and exhausting. Like I don't know... A dried, dirty, dusty thick sock. (yeah I consider the possibility that if anybody read this all up to this point I probably just got discredited by just this stupid comparison). And it's like I can't really sleep during a day cause random nostalgic and anxious and ominous singals would come to my brain. Like pictures or sad melody either known or just made up in my brain to make me feel sad. In the winter everything is so dark and cloudy. This happens a lot in spring and autumn too. The sky is just grey and everything feels like it sucks. Like there's no point in living. The same goes with dark, black sky that's just overwhelming with it's darkness. It's like I open my eyes and feel no attraction. Nothing to really get up and live for. It feels like being trapped in a hell that has been in some way built in your head. But it's still realistic as fuck. I often call it a hell. Cause it's so negative, yet so empty. So pointless.
Last summer I met someone. I gave up on guys but here he was. Just like I dreamed. I dreamed of a guy like this so long and I've come to terms that it's something impossible. Like a perfection and perfections doesn't exist. Yet there he was. Mature but not old, just about right with his 36 years old. Settled - good job, secure, a lot of money (I'm just mentioning it because it shows how resourceful he was, I was never with him for the money or smth like that, I wouldn't agree on him paying for me). And the face. God. So rough but so taken care of. Bald head thick 1 day beard, juicy lips. Such a big contrast to his beautiful eyes that were like an endless ocean, not an ounce of roughness like in the rest of his face. His body type is like one of a kind so I can't really describe it. But I remember every detail. He was really muscled and all made natural. chest like a fucking wardrobe. And those thick short hair all over his body combined with dark tanned skin. You could feel testosterone in the air when he was around. And he was caring too. Funny. Used all those stupid emojis to make me laugh. Everyone liked him. But then something went wrong. It doesn't have a lot to do with this topic so I just say there was some shit that started to look like with the first guy I described. Excuses, lies, stuff like that. And that's what broke me. Because I made this shell and I told myself I'm not letting anybody in. I was actually happy before he came around. He made me more happy but only for a moment.
I really gained a lot of weight. 20 kg so I'm now 80. I put on as much muscles as I could for my first one-year cycle. Now doing the cutting.
About my beauty. No insecurities. I get hit up by a lot of guys even sexy ones (yeah and the fact that I had his attention too, cause he could have anyone but he chose me then). I have some followers on instagram too. I really turned out to be handsome. Nobody's making fun of me anymore.
Friends? Cut short but at least I know who's there voluntarily.
Music... after the band split up I started chasing my solo career. I've been writing to my drawer for 6 years but after he left me I made like 3 albums just out of the sleeve. I'm recording my first song and been getting a lot of positive feedback about the beta version.
I still have to write my thesis and get that Master Of Science degree and find a job.
Other than that. Everything should be ok. But it's not. I fixed all of the stuff I could and that I thought were wrong about me. But the depression stayed. So I'm still struggling with it. And it hurts even more now. I feel like all my life have been drained with him. I miss him every hour every second. Even in my sleep I get nightmares all don't sleep at all. It really really hurts and as much as I think suicide is stupid I told my friend that if I was to fight for my life I would just not. I'm a little tired of fighting all my life and I would love to rest and give up. That kind of closes the story up to this day. Hope I didn't bore you guys to death.
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This happens a lot in spring and autumn too
yeah seasonal depression. use lamp therapy.
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i actually finished reading that story :P…...kinda have a deja fu for some parts.....fake friends? used to stay alone? making ur own arts? failed suicide? twisted relationship? trying to find comfort in the gym? well, i think these r what alot gay guys have been thru......
sometimes u don't think u can control it, but ur the only cure to all the mess......u just need to believe urself....finish ur degree, change a city...find a job...getting to know new guys......ur just so young .....dont tlk like it s ur last breath, don't tlk like u ll never find a guy better than ur ex.......u don't know that......there r so many thing u think theory r important in ur life......then one day when ur mature enough .....and look back....u ll find they aren't at all......they r just another tiny, momentary speck within this universe :P..... and like u said...there r still some true friends that u used to know and met.....try to find urself more......dont let loneliness kill u, make it into an art.....and stop listening to lip sync whore flopney spears s "oops i did again"....i mean really? my loneliness is killing me is the worst lyrics i ve ever known :laugh:
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they r just another tiny, momentary speck within this universe
and so are our lives ;D
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they r just another tiny, momentary speck within this universe
and so are our lives ;D
it s true…....thats why we need learn how to not give a fuck when shit happens
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they r just another tiny, momentary speck within this universe
and so are our lives ;D
Yeah and this kind of thinking got me in depression in the first place.
bearlove hahahaah what? where di that Britney Spears came from? I don't listen to that.
But I actually think that the music I listen to also has some meaning for my depression.
I grew up on a lot of sad songs. I appreciate art when it's sad not happy. I will just shit all over the new Coldplay song and eventually take it back to their first albums. I don't like fucking AC/DC, Nirvana, The Beatles, Michael Jackson and all those classics. I just hate it. I'm more into alt music with a lot of space and sound with you know those reverb kind of dreamy notes and harmonies singing in minor. Uhm. That may affect it too. So sometimes I will just you know have Sia played all over again. Or just some pop shitty catchy songs to make my mind out of this dark place. But it's not working always. When I get that sexy or nostalgic slow songs I'm just back again thinking to listening it with him or just imagining us in different situations. Maybe then Britney Spears would not be such a bad choice.Yeah I know guys what're you getting at. But the thing is. I'm a realist. I'm a scientist. I get that "make your dreams come true" vibe sometimes and I would love to be made for greater things. But a lot of times I just analyze the situations pretty realistically. I don't say I love him and he's the one I will always love because I still have a crush but because I analyzed it and I see the difference and I can't separate my emotions. Everyone's saying I'm young. Yeah. But I feel very old. I feel really like over 40. I feel bruised, tired, exhausted, wrinkled and stuff like that. Like I've been on a war for years or something. I'm just trying to describe you guys how I really feel. No patronizing.
praha you serious with that therapy? Is that Light Therapy actually? Any experiences ? Tried to skim it for a sec cause I don't have time now to really sit and do some research but I will.
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yes light therapy is not a weird thing. it's also good to regulate sleep. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder
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wait? a scientist? like literally a scientist？ i thought u were major in music tho？
abt that BS part， just trying to be humorous and diss her btwhmm， sad music is somehow more beautiful….....except some lyrics r too cliche to listen to
