How do you make gay friends in your 30's?
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Because it's so hard to find a long lasting relationship, I feel that having close gay friends in your life is very important. Yet in your 30s and also 40s, how do you make new ones? What were your experiences?
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When you find out, let me know. I've 33, never been social, so in grad school I met all my friends through school. Now I moved away and started a new job with colleagues that are in a different age bracket and in an environment that isn't conducive to making close friends, so I'm a fish out of water. I tried on Cragislist strictly platonic and either got guys who wanted sex, or disappeared after one round of email. Maybe I'll sign up for a legit dating service (as opposed to a hookup app) and pretend I'm looking for a lover to make some friends. lol
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i am in my 20's and I dont know how
well, i'm very shy. i dont know what to do about that.
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Tell them you want to be lovers ten wait to get friend zoned
Id like more straight acting gay friends but hard to find so might be easier to go on a gay group then find the guy with similar interests.
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It's always hard and to keep long lasting friendships. Good thumb of the rule is that you cannot force it and it cannot happen over the night so it is best to go with the flow. If you are in a new environment, it's best to be pro-active and seek out your hobbies and interests. Go out and about, try to mingle. Internet is the common medium these days to do all sorts of communication, and one advice is to use maybe a meetup.com up and seek some common interests. It's hard and you really need to make an effort, comfort zone is somwhere you cannot be.
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30's here as well, also finding it difficult.
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give me more ideas i will consider them when i am 30
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after turning 31 this year, this post is pretty relevant to me!
i met my best friend through okcupid about ten years ago*, and other friends through the scene.initially, i was flirting with him subtly and he was like "all the guys on this website want is sex", which made me back down; we had a good match score, and he's insane, but we've been great friends for ages. i met guys through okcupid for dates and sex, but they weren't really that great; i would go for the high match scores and then find that we might be too similar, or something in person that didn't come across online.
ANYWAY, there are also some friends that i've made through grindr, but i've found that putting myself out there and showing up to things (like parties) can certainly grease the wheel.
i feel like commonality is a good foundation and that someone who's consistent with their first impression will make a good friend. friendship is a collaborative effort.
lastly, i've been reaching out occasionally to people on facebook that i don't often see in person. i feel like i have a greater amount of acquaintances than close friends. -
try planetromeo.com
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It's funny, but most of my friends came from dates that backfired, now I'm quite happy I went to meet them for in the end, a real and better relationship developed: true friendship.
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….with wine, it has this weird effect on people :laugh:
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Act like your in your teens, or early 20's. It seemed much easier to make friends back then. I assume that is because our lives were much easier back then, little responsibilities, we weren't as street wise (read: jaded), and we usually met doing things that we had in common!
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Just be handsome
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It's definitely hard. At work people always have to keep a professional facade and I'm slow to warm up to people and very shy so that also doesn't help. If you are in big cities, there may be some gay meetup groups that are worth checking out. And yes, being handsome helps (I am not so there is that). But so does confidence
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It's always hard and to keep long lasting friendships. Good thumb of the rule is that you cannot force it and it cannot happen over the night so it is best to go with the flow. If you are in a new environment, it's best to be pro-active and seek out your hobbies and interests. Go out and about, try to mingle. Internet is the common medium these days to do all sorts of communication, and one advice is to use maybe a meetup.com up and seek some common interests. It's hard and you really need to make an effort, comfort zone is somwhere you cannot be.
I like being with guys, but I will get bored of sex when a few months later. I do not know what to do. I still like the guy, more like brother type… Is it common?
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I'm on my 20's so I wouldn't know. But I suppose the best way to make friends is through mutual interests and other friends. I'm very shy normally and the friends that I have mostly come from College/University, but I feel that apps and websites really don't work well most of the times. I suggest trying to pursue a hobby, anything, biking, running, shooting, fighting, dancing. Something you that demands you, and other people, to get out of their comfort zone. It's on those occasions I feel connections are really made.
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I live in a big city (Toronto) where there are a lot of social groups from things like sports to movies to religious groups.
If you like movies see whether there's a Facebook group for people to see movies together. Is there a gay/welcoming Church? I know people who met a lot of their friends through MCCT. I'm heavily into Science Fiction/Fantasy and most of my friends are also people involved in that.
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make a female friend who has gay friends and steal the ones you like
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make a female friend who has gay friends and steal the ones you like
So far, this thread has been really interesting, containing some good advice on making friends when you're past 30, 40, and so on.
The response from yayahiloude made me laugh and it's good advice, except you can SHARE your female friends' gay pals, rather than STEAL them, of course.
The tips from JohnAllenson about types of groups to join are also very on target.
And I agree with the posters who have made friends from a computer-matched "coffee date" or any "first date" that doesn't click sexually. As long as no one gets catty when the "sexual interest" fails to appear, imperfect dates can turn into great friends.
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It somehow feels that the older I get, the harder it is to build something new, friendship-wise. I'm in my 30's and I had a really hard time making friends during my younger days. I'm officially screwed then. Lol.
