Age Gaps
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What kind of age gaps do you deem to be acceptable an unacceptable for a relationship?
I think that people tend to bend the gap for different purposes and situations. Older guys tend to be fine with having a larger age gap and it's accepted generally that that is the rule, however younger guys tend to date with a smaller gap and if they stray out of it people can come down quite hard on them.
Also, if it isn't a relationship, and it's just a bit of no strings sex people tend change the rules again.
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12 years for me since Rob is 12 years younger than I!! ::) -
I'm the junior by 3 years.
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I'm turning 23 in 2010. My partner is turning 67 in 2010. Let's just say that as long as two people are consenting adults, there really is no need for any sort of age requirement.
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I'm 21 at the moment, and a scoutleader and COC agent (telling young people about homosexuality as part of their education). Those two volunteer jobs involve me and a whole lot of young people, basically, this puts me in a good position to figure out what 'young' is too young.
I'd say 16 is acceptable for me for sex. But the boys are definitely never mature enough for me to consider a relationship. I need 'em older. And really, I'm not the kind of guy that does sex but not love; so I doubt I'll ever do 16 at all. 18-20 will be closer to what I like most.
I've done some cubscouts leadership as well, the cubs tend to have young dads and there was this incredibly attractive blond man, he must have been about 30-35, with the most amazing smile. I'd totally do him, and he's old enough for a relationship for sure. But dads tend to be committed to womankind, so that never flew… yet.
I'd say a loose ten years either way (older/younger) seems acceptable. Starting from 16 years as the youngest. Sex with someone under sixteen is plainly illegal, so that wouldn't be acceptable anyway - but you get the point. Then again, I don't think anyone ever loses their taste for the beauty of youth. ^-^
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i was 21 years junior to my ex.. i'd say that at most would be 25 years gap would be acceptable.. other than that, friends would be nice instead..
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I don't think it matters as long as both parties were good and acceptable for each other.
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It seems reasonable to expect that with an increase in age and experience comes an increase in "gap" acceptability.
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I'm currently 30 and I've been going out with a 20 year old for 3 months now.
Earlier situations with that age have never reached that far, young boys can get annoyingly immature even compared to myself!
Personally I could see myself potentially going for a 10 years gap either younger or older than me as long as there's attraction and decent communication.
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age for me isn't much of an issue, as long as:
1. he's more than 18
2. doesn't look like a twink (talk or act like one)
3 he doesn't look as old as his age or older (getting old is fine as long as you don't look old! hehehe)
4. his body doesn't look too old and wrinkly…
5. we mesh well together
6. he doesn't have lots of OGTs
7. he's clean and takes showers at least 2x a day! (i take 2 - 3 a day... i'm living in a hot country! LOL) -
I think that whatever you feel is right. I know plenty of people who think more than a one or two year gap is weird, but as this thread shows, there are plenty that think much wider gaps are OK.
I've always found that the "half your age +7" 'rule of thumb' works quite well when trying to think of how likely your lives are to be cohesive. Like if a 20 year old is used to hanging out with 30 year olds, then dating a 30 year old will seem normal, however if he isn't, then a relationship might be difficult. And vice versa.
I think that it's all about how you see them. Do you see them as an equal, or see them as being younger or older.
By last bf was 3 years younger than me, but I often forgot that. It certainly felt like we were the same age, hanging around the same sort of people.
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I think that it's all about how you see them. Do you see them as an equal, or see them as being younger or older.
I think brother Quiquito has nailed it, so to speak: Age isn't important if the two guys consider themselves equal in the relationship. My last partner was 23 when we met; I was 38. But we respected each other as equals, and even though I was in a more comfortable financial position, we kept that equal as well. It was a fine and beautiful situation.
I might add that "age gaps in relationships," is quite distinct from age gaps for random, probably one-off, sexual encounters. I am flabbergasted by the number of 18-20 year olds who pursue me (I turn 45 tomorrow) with great vigour–they want to "learn" about sex and gay life, both in the theoretical and practical sense. I'm not averse to a romp with a young fellow (as long as he's legal), but with most of them, I have so little in common. I can enjoy an hour or two of sex, but a weekend in my mountain cabin? Perish the thought!
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My opinion is concerning relationships since I'm not really into hookups. I'm going to say that age doesn't really matter as long as there is a connection and as quiquito said, you are able to see yourselves as equal partners.
I met Ray when I was 25 and he was 52, so about 27 years difference there. We've been together for a little over four years.
hXXp://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h161/Sundracon/IMG_1234c.jpg
hXXp://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h161/Sundracon/IMG_1302b.jpg -
erm 10 years? depending on how young the younger person is, i mean if they are under 21 i would say around 5 years between them or less if lower then that becomes under 16
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@DAB:
I'm 21 at the moment, and a scoutleader and COC agent (telling young people about homosexuality as part of their education). Those two volunteer jobs involve me and a whole lot of young people, basically, this puts me in a good position to figure out what 'young' is too young.
I'd say 16 is acceptable for me for sex. But the boys are definitely never mature enough for me to consider a relationship. I need 'em older. And really, I'm not the kind of guy that does sex but not love; so I doubt I'll ever do 16 at all. 18-20 will be closer to what I like most.
I've done some cubscouts leadership as well, the cubs tend to have young dads and there was this incredibly attractive blond man, he must have been about 30-35, with the most amazing smile. I'd totally do him, and he's old enough for a relationship for sure. But dads tend to be committed to womankind, so that never flew… yet.
I'd say a loose ten years either way (older/younger) seems acceptable. Starting from 16 years as the youngest. Sex with someone under sixteen is plainly illegal, so that wouldn't be acceptable anyway - but you get the point. Then again, I don't think anyone ever loses their taste for the beauty of youth. ^-^
Given your position I think it would be best to stay away from anyone under the age of 18.
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1) if it's about searching a social site for a partner, I would say roughly that I wouldn't click (or take seriously) most profiles that are under 20 YO. I'm 30, and I've noticed that those under 20 may be a bit more prone to being too idealistic. They can be flattered into infatuation, but will eventually wise up. On the max side, I've been attracted to bears/chubs who were older than 40, so I guess the 10 year rule seems to apply as well. However, if you were only 20, you shouldn't be going out of your way to find a 10 year old boyfriend.
2) if i were to meet a guy who might not fit in my age range, but we hit it off, certain things could happen anyway, as long as we both consent. My age range is mostly a gauge about what a guy might want. If he's only 20, then he might not be ready to settle down, and if I'm ready to settle down, it really wouldn't work out, would it?
Age is just an easier way to filter search results hehehe.
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I think the generally accepted formula is
f(x)=[x/2]+7 truncate numbers to right of decimal point
f(x)=minimum age allowed to date
x=age of older person in relationshipeg1 x=37; f(x)=25 ∴12 year gap?
eg2 x=54; f(x)=34 ∴20 year gap?
eg3 x=18; f(x)=16 ∴ 2 year gap? and go directly to jail (in USA)Love and attraction throw any developed formulas out the window;
I was just having fun. -
Age difference depends on a number of things. Even in a case with a larger age gap, there isn't necessarily a problem. Although it is true that in a lot of cases, the younger population do tend to have a tendency to grasp to an infatuation, this is not always the case. I can think of a few cases off the top of my head where the age difference is almost 30 years and it works no problem. It all depends on what you both really want and how happy that you make each other. It really all boils down to the chemistry.
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pheromones. pure, hot, sweaty pheromones.
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pheromones. pure, hot, sweaty pheromones.
True… But misleading. Pheromones will increase a sexual attraction between two people in an increasingly arousing way, however they do not necessarily make a person physically attractive to another person, and they also do not necessarily make a person's personality compatible for everyone. In some cases they may actually only end up causing an infatuation that appears at first as a sexual lust between two people, which is most common in the case in humans during until several years after puberty.
As for the sexual side of it, I would agree that absolutely pheromones do greatly intensify a sexual experience.
