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    How many are planning to never come out?

    Coming Out
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    • L
      leiraymond last edited by

      think many

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      • R
        ryujin last edited by

        hmmm… I think this this can change over time though. I remember I always thought I'd never come out (very traditional Chinese family). While I haven't come out yet, I've decided to come out after I graduate med school.
        Of course i'm afraid, but knowing my parents are proud of having a doctor in the family is the only thing that gives me confidence in coming out. That wasn't the reason I chose to become a doctor though!! If anything I hate the fact that its giving me a "way out" of staying in the closet!

        (if you don't understand why being a doctor is related to me coming out, its because Chinese families- especially my parents, consider becoming a doctor as an amazing achievement for some reason  ??? don't exactly know why other than because its a respectable profession? I'm banking on them being civil about my sexuality because i'm still the same person that they have been proud of)

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          spam17 last edited by

          @ryujin:

          hmmm… I think this this can change over time though. I remember I always thought I'd never come out (very traditional Chinese family). While I haven't come out yet, I've decided to come out after I graduate med school.
          Of course i'm afraid, but knowing my parents are proud of having a doctor in the family is the only thing that gives me confidence in coming out. That wasn't the reason I chose to become a doctor though!! If anything I hate the fact that its giving me a "way out" of staying in the closet!

          (if you don't understand why being a doctor is related to me coming out, its because Chinese families- especially my parents, consider becoming a doctor as an amazing achievement for some reason  ??? don't exactly know why other than because its a respectable profession? I'm banking on them being civil about my sexuality because i'm still the same person that they have been proud of)

          Good luck when you decide to come out!

          :cheers:

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            lustydaddy last edited by

            @ryujin:

            hmmm… I think this this can change over time though. I remember I always thought I'd never come out (very traditional Chinese family). While I haven't come out yet, I've decided to come out after I graduate med school.
            Of course i'm afraid, but knowing my parents are proud of having a doctor in the family is the only thing that gives me confidence in coming out. That wasn't the reason I chose to become a doctor though!! If anything I hate the fact that its giving me a "way out" of staying in the closet!

            (if you don't understand why being a doctor is related to me coming out, its because Chinese families- especially my parents, consider becoming a doctor as an amazing achievement for some reason  ??? don't exactly know why other than because its a respectable profession? I'm banking on them being civil about my sexuality because i'm still the same person that they have been proud of)

            Hah same reason I am in med school. I wish you the best!

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            • S
              spam17 last edited by

              @lustydaddy:

              @ryujin:

              hmmm… I think this this can change over time though. I remember I always thought I'd never come out (very traditional Chinese family). While I haven't come out yet, I've decided to come out after I graduate med school.
              Of course i'm afraid, but knowing my parents are proud of having a doctor in the family is the only thing that gives me confidence in coming out. That wasn't the reason I chose to become a doctor though!! If anything I hate the fact that its giving me a "way out" of staying in the closet!

              (if you don't understand why being a doctor is related to me coming out, its because Chinese families- especially my parents, consider becoming a doctor as an amazing achievement for some reason  ??? don't exactly know why other than because its a respectable profession? I'm banking on them being civil about my sexuality because i'm still the same person that they have been proud of)

              Hah same reason I am in med school. I wish you the best!

              So, we have 2 from med school already..

              ::)

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                akosialex last edited by

                Hey guys.. I was just strolling around the forum section, then I found this. Interesting topic that almost everyone likes to know other's opinions.

                My thought is this, I am not really a flamboyant gay guy. I am your average guy friend, who likes guy stuff and at the same time like guys as a friend/partner. I am not having thoughts of coming out yet, but i am leaning more on not to. Cause I just express who I really am to a person, they get what they want and can ask me if I am gay or not. Well that's my thoughts anyways  😉

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                  psyc490 last edited by

                  @ryujin:

                  hmmm… I think this this can change over time though. I remember I always thought I'd never come out (very traditional Chinese family). While I haven't come out yet, I've decided to come out after I graduate med school.
                  Of course i'm afraid, but knowing my parents are proud of having a doctor in the family is the only thing that gives me confidence in coming out. That wasn't the reason I chose to become a doctor though!! If anything I hate the fact that its giving me a "way out" of staying in the closet!

                  (if you don't understand why being a doctor is related to me coming out, its because Chinese families- especially my parents, consider becoming a doctor as an amazing achievement for some reason  ??? don't exactly know why other than because its a respectable profession? I'm banking on them being civil about my sexuality because i'm still the same person that they have been proud of)

                  I know a lot of people who sort of use their professional success as leverage for coming out; my only advise is please don't conflate them too much. Your professional / work success should not validate your sexuality; you're gay (or bi) and thats fine and its not less fine if yoweren't successful. That being said I understand exactly what you mean and I dated someone who had a similar thinking pattern and he ended up feeling he was never successful enough and felt he "deserved" to be single until he was more successful.

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                  • S
                    spam17 last edited by

                    @psyc490:

                    @ryujin:

                    hmmm… I think this this can change over time though. I remember I always thought I'd never come out (very traditional Chinese family). While I haven't come out yet, I've decided to come out after I graduate med school.
                    Of course i'm afraid, but knowing my parents are proud of having a doctor in the family is the only thing that gives me confidence in coming out. That wasn't the reason I chose to become a doctor though!! If anything I hate the fact that its giving me a "way out" of staying in the closet!

                    (if you don't understand why being a doctor is related to me coming out, its because Chinese families- especially my parents, consider becoming a doctor as an amazing achievement for some reason  ??? don't exactly know why other than because its a respectable profession? I'm banking on them being civil about my sexuality because i'm still the same person that they have been proud of)

                    I know a lot of people who sort of use their professional success as leverage for coming out; my only advise is please don't conflate them too much. Your professional / work success should not validate your sexuality; you're gay (or bi) and thats fine and its not less fine if yoweren't successful. That being said I understand exactly what you mean and I dated someone who had a similar thinking pattern and he ended up feeling he was never successful enough and felt he "deserved" to be single until he was more successful.

                    Is he successful now?

                    ::)

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                      psyc490 last edited by

                      Yeah I would say he is pretty successful in his work; but psychologically and emotionally he's very lonely 😕
                      Losing a lot of friends and others around him because of hubris

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                      • A
                        AdrianBane last edited by

                        An independent lone wolf here. Still no plans about "the big coming out" since to me it doesn't matter that much really. I am a free person…so are all of you, it really doesn't matter who do you take to bed with you and it is really not other people business too.

                        I really love the shroud of mystery around me, yes some might suspect but I don't rly care. If a close friend asks me directly...I might tell him. But those that truly know and care for you don't even need to ask, they just deep down know, and still accept you. If a nosy person with not enough attachments to me asks me they'll get a standard, cold, hard "None of your business"…I wont neither confirm or deny it.

                        Since you don't see Hetero people saying "Hey I am hetero." **why would we be any different ?**To me equality means everything and I think that we might faster achieve "truly equal" rank once being gay is not that much of a subject anymore, in other words by not trying to force everyone to acknowledge us. I feel that GLBT Parades are more likely flagging us "different" rather than "equal", that's why we should have Love Parades instead with people of all orientations in them, it is ideal way in which everyone could see that we are same as everyone else…love knows no bounds.

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                          Bengalis last edited by

                          Too late for that.

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                            spam17 last edited by

                            @psyc490:

                            Yeah I would say he is pretty successful in his work; but psychologically and emotionally he's very lonely 😕
                            Losing a lot of friends and others around him because of hubris

                            You can't have everything in life..

                            😛

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