Are you the man or the woman in the relationship?
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Oh, please what they really want to know is who's the fucker (man) and who gets fucked (woman)
Does this men that in a straight relationship, if the female uses a strap-on that she becomes the man and her partner becomes the Woman?
If you are versatile, does that mean your a Woman some of the time and a Man the rest?
In our relationship I am the top, but when it comes to everything else we both have our strong points with both the typical male and female duties and each do what we are best at.
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Yes, in the mindset of limited bigoted people, if a woman puts a strap on she becomes the man and the man becomes something to laugh at and mock.
Limited bigoted people don't understand the concept of "versatile partners". In their minds versatile gays are just gays that confuse them even more than the top/bottom=man/woman setup.
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"The reciprocal scenario, where both men take turns fucking each other, is often exercised as a celebration of equality. What sets this scenario apart from the others is the versatility of the men involved. Versatility is a unique and important feature of male anal sex. Some men consider it liberating; (…) Versatility to them is akin to speaking two different languages. It requires a special kind of playfulness, creativity, curiosity, and coordination."
— Steven G. Underwood, Gay Men and anal eroticism: tops, bottoms, and versatiles, Harrington Park Press 2003
::) -
Re: "Man" and "woman."
I think the question would be more clear if it's phrased as 'masculine' and 'feminine'. Or even 'dominant' and 'submissive' (not in the BDSM meaning).
To be very fair there -is- a form of fetish of…uh, where an overtly feminine gay seeks an overtly masculine gay, and there -is- a clear, delineated, almost obscene traditional gender roles there.
(check out http://masc4femme.tumblr.com and http://femme4masc.tumblr.com if you want to look more).So for some couples, the question does apply.
Is it 'right' or 'wrong'? I will say that it's not for everyone. I myself feel attracted to the size difference aspect of it but definitely not to the…patriarchal feel of it.But it is just one view and thinking of it as the only view is deeply problematic (looking at you, Japanese BL). For one thing, the core of the idea -is- a traditional, patriarchal worldview where the man works and makes decision and the woman serves and takes care of home and sex and MEH.
Not all relationships are like that. Other couples might be more equal, more blurry in presentation and roles, and that's definitely OKAY. Not to mention the dynamics between individuals makes each relationship to be different in many aspects (one might be 'the woman' in the bed but 'the man' in the other aspects; or one might be the woman in one relationship and the man in the rest)
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Thaaat said, if you ask -me-, I think personally I'll be the more feminine/submissive part of the couple.
…That's more of a personality flaw than anything else.
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I tend to let my husband take charge in the sack, and yes we like to use the word ass-pussy or just pussy. Im bottom and a little submissive to my husband when it comes to sex, but i dont feel like a woman.
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I guess ''the man'' but it's really unrelated to the sex bit but just everything. :blind:
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**_
"The hold he has me in is a thing of beauty: hand firmly around my neck without choking me, cock buried in my ass, tongue exploring my own mouth, and his other hand sweetly yet purposefully stroking my own cock, even though he knows I don’t need it at all to be satisfied in bed.
Even when I’m spread out in bed, a pussyboi in all his majesty, his might overpowers me and everything about us. To see him all around me, working on me, is to witness true power.
The very image of a true powerful, benevolent Stud in control."
:cool2:_**
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**_
"The hold he has me in is a thing of beauty: hand firmly around my neck without choking me, cock buried in my ass, tongue exploring my own mouth, and his other hand sweetly yet purposefully stroking my own cock, even though he knows I don’t need it at all to be satisfied in bed.
Even when I’m spread out in bed, a pussyboi in all his majesty, his might overpowers me and everything about us. To see him all around me, working on me, is to witness true power.
The very image of a true powerful, benevolent Stud in control."
:cool2:
Love that scene. :blind:_**
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this question makes me sad! because it show how fucked up gays are
and no it's not about the society! gays think this way too! I met many gays before wanting a guy to be the man or the girl in the relation it's really sad! and I don't think those guys are gays! like if you want to be a girl in the relationship and you're acting girly and stuff maybe you need a sex change and you're under the transgender category! and if you're a guy who want to be manly and be with a girly boy then I think you have a problem! and it's not sexual at this point! for me real gays are the men who are attracted to other men and both are equally the men of the relationship no matter who's bottom or top! -
**_@Bengalis:**_"The hold he has me in is a thing of beauty: hand firmly around my neck without choking me, cock buried in my ass, tongue exploring my own mouth, and his other hand sweetly yet purposefully stroking my own cock, even though he knows I don’t need it at all to be satisfied in bed.
Even when I’m spread out in bed, a pussyboi in all his majesty, his might overpowers me and everything about us. To see him all around me, working on me, is to witness true power.
The very image of a true powerful, benevolent Stud in control."
:cool2:
Love that scene. :blind:
::)****
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this question makes me sad! because it show how fucked up gays are
and no it's not about the society! gays think this way too! I met many gays before wanting a guy to be the man or the girl in the relation it's really sad! and I don't think those guys are gays! like if you want to be a girl in the relationship and you're acting girly and stuff maybe you need a sex change and you're under the transgender category! and if you're a guy who want to be manly and be with a girly boy then I think you have a problem! and it's not sexual at this point! for me real gays are the men who are attracted to other men and both are equally the men of the relationship no matter who's bottom or top!….see, I disagreed.
You heavily implied that there's only certain ways to be a guy and certain ways to be a girl and that's not true at all.There is no one way to be a man-- just as there is no one way to be a woman.
BUT, I acknowledge and agree that attraction is a different thing. Whether physically or mentally, attraction can be influenced but cannot be forced either way. If you like a certain type of guy, then that's your flavor. Others have different taste, influenced by different things.And also,
Gender identity =/= personality =/= interest.
so for a guy to feel like he's a girl =/= having a 'girly' personality =/= interested in 'girly' hobbies or interest.
And the attraction part is also different.
One can feel attracted to feminine guys and still being a homosexual. One can be attracted to masculine girls and still being a heterosexual. -
this question makes me sad! because it show how fucked up gays are
and no it's not about the society! gays think this way too! I met many gays before wanting a guy to be the man or the girl in the relation it's really sad! and I don't think those guys are gays! like if you want to be a girl in the relationship and you're acting girly and stuff maybe you need a sex change and you're under the transgender category! and if you're a guy who want to be manly and be with a girly boy then I think you have a problem! and it's not sexual at this point! for me real gays are the men who are attracted to other men and both are equally the men of the relationship no matter who's bottom or top!….see, I disagreed.
You heavily implied that there's only certain ways to be a guy and certain ways to be a girl and that's not true at all.There is no one way to be a man-- just as there is no one way to be a woman.
BUT, I acknowledge and agree that attraction is a different thing. Whether physically or mentally, attraction can be influenced but cannot be forced either way. If you like a certain type of guy, then that's your flavor. Others have different taste, influenced by different things.And also,
Gender identity =/= personality =/= interest.
so for a guy to feel like he's a girl =/= having a 'girly' personality =/= interested in 'girly' hobbies or interest.
And the attraction part is also different.
One can feel attracted to feminine guys and still being a homosexual. One can be attracted to masculine girls and still being a heterosexual.**Interesting..
** -
Being the more decisive person, I'm always the man when out of bed. But in bed with my first bf, it's 90% man and 10% woman just to be fair.
But when the relationship soured, I was distraught and was picked up by a fb. He caught me at the time when I was depressed and mostly drunk. He took me home and I woke up in his bed with a sore ass. After that, I was 100% his woman because he was so much fun and adventurous and don't always do it in bed. >:D
That lasted about 2 years till he needed to move away for a job overseas.
Then I found a new bf. This time it's me 75% woman, 25% man, because I didn't want him to dominate me totally in a relationship.
Then we broke up and I found a new job in ME and moved away. Here in ME, no chance for me to be man. Now I don't fancy the boorish behavior of the Arabs. They literally want to treat other men as like their women.
They are very, very nice and very patient when trying to woo you. But once they get you into bed, they fuck like hungry wolves. After that, they treat you like they own you like they own women as property.
You are not allowed to meet other men, you are to like whatever they choose for you like food, clothes, when to have sex etc. You must be ready to get fucked whenever they want. They'll never introduce their gay friends to you even when having dinner together with them. It's understood that I'm his bitch and has no social standing.After 3 months, I had enough of him. But being afraid of his influence, I had to trade myself to another guy as protection. Still, I'm treated like this new guy's bitch. But then he had not invested a lot of time and money on me, so he's not as possessive as the previous guy. I'm still working my way out of this relationship.
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I am me in this relationship.
He is he in this relationship.
We just are.
What the world needs is to get rid of labels! We just are who we are… I hope this makes sense. -
This question is really just another way of asking whos the top and whos the bottom.
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im the bottom, if thats what you mean
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Being the more decisive person, I'm always the man when out of bed. But in bed with my first bf, it's 90% man and 10% woman just to be fair.
But when the relationship soured, I was distraught and was picked up by a fb. He caught me at the time when I was depressed and mostly drunk. He took me home and I woke up in his bed with a sore ass. After that, I was 100% his woman because he was so much fun and adventurous and don't always do it in bed. >:D
That lasted about 2 years till he needed to move away for a job overseas.
Then I found a new bf. This time it's me 75% woman, 25% man, because I didn't want him to dominate me totally in a relationship.
Then we broke up and I found a new job in ME and moved away. Here in ME, no chance for me to be man. Now I don't fancy the boorish behavior of the Arabs. They literally want to treat other men as like their women.
They are very, very nice and very patient when trying to woo you. But once they get you into bed, they fuck like hungry wolves. After that, they treat you like they own you like they own women as property.
You are not allowed to meet other men, you are to like whatever they choose for you like food, clothes, when to have sex etc. You must be ready to get fucked whenever they want. They'll never introduce their gay friends to you even when having dinner together with them. It's understood that I'm his bitch and has no social standing.After 3 months, I had enough of him. But being afraid of his influence, I had to trade myself to another guy as protection. Still, I'm treated like this new guy's bitch. But then he had not invested a lot of time and money on me, so he's not as possessive as the previous guy. I'm still working my way out of this relationship.
:lolp:
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my answer will be: im the prissy wife in our relationship. hahaha! true story.
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Woman… does that mean the ones who do house chores and stuff?
