Mid-20's Closeter
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So I'm 26 and am still in the closet and have no problem telling friends and people I work with, but am a bit anxious about telling my family and relatives.
I quite certain my family have an idea and there have been plenty of clues such as that I've never had a girlfriend and am a bit of a "woman" about certain things. I'm confident on the one hand that my Mum would be fine about it since she works for Harrods Department Store and there's a lot of gay guys who work there, and she seems to be fine about them.
Secondly, I reckon they would be fine about it since I have Autism, a mild-version of it called Asperger's Syndrome and they except me for being different, so there's no reason they wouldn't accept me for that. My Sister has given me an inkling of a feeling that she's uncomfortable around gay people, but her best friend is very open-minded and liberal-thinking, so I reckon she'd defend me or stand up for me.
My family all vote Conservative and are quite traditional and narrow-minded and whilst they love me and accept me, I'm worried if I do come out, how that would affect things.
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Yours is a common story, slightly complicated by your Aspergers which will make you a little less able to gauge the feelings other people in the way most people are able to do. The difference may be less than in other circumstances though; gay people are often wrong about the reactions they expect from family and so in that, you're no different.
I always advise a simple rule about coming out. Come out to those you're comfortable coming out to, when you're comfortable coming out to them. That seems to work pretty well for most people.
Bear in mind that there are lots of ways to come out. You could do it at a big family gathering, and do it all in one go, or, probably more wise, do it one person at a time. I've known some people who have expected difficulties from parents for example, who have told sibling, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and when telling the parents, have had plenty of back-up in case of issues.
Depending on whether your sister's friend is someone you think you can trust, perhaps consider sounding out the friend about how your sister will take it. She celery isn't uncomfortable around all gay people - she's been around you for a rather long time I expect.
Take it slowly, make back-up plans just in case you get a bad reaction, and make sure you have a good support system of friends in place. Things really do get far easier when you're out to people and n longer have to be guarded about such an important part of your life.
Good luck and let us know how things go.
Hugs.
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Thanks for the advice dude!
The step-by-step approach seems to be working and I'll continue by telling the sister's friend, who'll be able to guide me best.
Thanks again.
I can't wait to finally live a more open and less secretive life.