How to deal with the very attractive straight friend
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Avoid him until you find someone else you get infatuated. It happened to me some times.
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Hi, GT forum. I'm new here, sort of.
And, I figured, we could get semi-serious for a second as I ask an important question. How do you deal with that one friend who is straight, but you find them really attractive? For the record, I'm male and in my mid twenties. I'm talking about my best friend, who I actually just came out to a month ago. He's fine with it. But, I really struggle because I've always been attracted to him. I really value our friendship and wouldn't screw that up.
Is this something any one else has gone through?
I mean, I can keep it under control, but I sometimes glance at his biceps or whatever and I don't want him to notice and jeopardize our friendship.
I am afraid that if you are that much into him and have to be under control, then the friendship is not really that much of a friendship? :blink: I have a straight friend who I really like and he knows that very well cause I told him maybe three times that I would definitely do something with him anytime he would be interested and he said if he was gay he would date me but he really is not (and I know that for sure when I see his Tinder or Badoo behavior haha). So just be honest if he is really your friend. Otherwise he is just like a pal you hang out with sometime…
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Here's my opinion. I agree with you not to try anything because you value the friendship. He's straight, and trying to get him to be what he isn't will surely ruin the friendship. Also, if he's ever curious, he knows you're gay because you already came out to him. I wouldn't hold my breath on that one though.
What I imagine is there's qualities about him you are attracted to. Determine what they are, and look for them in someone who's gay. If biceps and openminded-ness are important, then participate in some activities where you will have gay men who are athletic and open-minded. I would also remind myself "this is my friend" and try to treat him as such.
Hope some of that helps.
Great advice. I second this.
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Is this something any one else has gone through?
Yup, been there, done that, got several t-shirts. :poorthing:
Love this, thanks for the story :).
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You need to control your feeling for him, otherwise your friendship with him will be a total mess.
