Fisting as an act of love?
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Weird question maybe, but! I am in a loving gay relationship, and with my partner we have been talking over fisting. He as the top and me as the bottom. Never done it before so I have no experience on thta, allthought I have been wanting to do it with him. Now the thing is he is afraid and all of hurting me, and also he is like, "Maybe it is very harsh for you, and I think it is something very extreme, and I love you and respect you so that kinda stops me from doing it." and I think that fisting CAN be a loving action between 2 people that love each other, and it can be sweet and romantic and all. So what do you guys think? What is the nature of fisting? ???
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I would have to agree it can be a loving act between two men. Best advice would be to take it slow, find books on how to do it or even find someone who is practiced in the art.
Edit:
A very short guide.
Anal fisting is a slow process that involves patience and a lot of lubrication. Fisting or handballing is not for everyone and can be dangerous if not done properly. But for those that do enjoy it or have a desire to try, here's how:
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: Varies
Here's How:
Trim and file fingernails of the fistee. Do not douche or use an enema. These can irritate and thin the anal walls, increasing the risk of infection.
The receiving partner, or fistee, should be very relaxed and aroused. Gently massage or rim the anus during foreplay for an extended period of time.
Place a latex glove on the fisting hand. Generously lubricate the entire hand and forearm. Also generously lubricate the anus.
*Do not use oil-based lubricants, which can erode the latex gloves. Fisting without protection can lead to bacterial and viral infections.Slowly and gently insert one finger at a time into the anus. Hold fingers as close together as possible.
Once all fingers and the thumb are inserted, add more lubricant and gently rotate the hand into the anus.
Ball the hand into a fist once it is fully inserted. Slowly move the fist in and out, massaging the prostate.If your partner experiences extreme discomfort or there is excessive bleeding, there may be a tear in the rectal wall. Encourage your partner to relax and slowly pull out. The fistee may temporarily be unable to control bowels. The expanded rectal walls will eventually return to normal size.
Tips:
Make sure your partner is ready and willing to be fisted. Respect his wishes and stop at any stage.
Forcing a full fist inside of the anus (or punching), having improperly trimmed finger nails or fisting without protection can cause serious injury, including tears, ruptures, or infections.
Repeated fisting may result in permanent damage.
What You Need:
Plenty of lube
Latex gloves
A willing, relaxed and highly aroused partner -
If you are having sex in other form than not a romantic one, just based in degradation or sexual edging… you are feeding an issue that will consume you IMHO... so fisting SHOULD be as romantic as anything else really, now the reason why you do not equate it, or label it and classify it as extreme is... done wrong it can give you serious medical issues, one thing is if you both want it, go slow and well lubed, and do not think of making it a every night thing... treasure it and make it special, because your body will need some rest time to close and preserve the elasticity and stregth of your sphincter muscles.
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As someone with a fair bit of experience (both top and bottom) I will say that LEVI's little guide that he posted is pretty well correct. There are a few things that I would like to point out, as they may help you to be able to get going on your journey to fisting a little nicer.
FIRST: I would like to add that there is a little more to the art of getting introduced to fisting than taking the process slowly increasing by one finger at a time. As you're beginning to finger (especially as you begin to increase the number of fingers), it can become quite helpful to twist your hand a bit. For some people, twisting as you go in and/or out is a better fit for them, but for others twisting while it's in and not going in or out is a little more pleasurable. This will take a little getting used to and a little getting to know your partner. When doing this, it is actually better to use the latex free gloves, mainly because they do not deteriorate when they are introduced to Crisco.
NEXT: When working your way up in the number of fingers, it is very important to remember that most beginners will start to have a certain level of difficulty once the knuckles begin to to be introduced, mainly because that begins to reach the widest point of the hand. At this stage, twisting to a certain degree will become more critical, especially since it will help to keep your lube more evenly applied. Also, it is important to keep in mind that when you are at 4 fingers, introducing the thumb is going to become the next road block because now you're adding to the width of what is being entered. To help work with that, this is the most critical stage to begin going back down in the number of fingers, then exploring your bottom. Generally speaking, the prostate will bring much pleasure, but every bottom has their different spots that get them purring. As you work back up to 4 fingers, you should begin to get to know these spots. This will become key for the next stage.
LASTLY: Once you get to the point of getting 4 fingers in as far as the knuckle, make sure to start exploring your partner to see what spots make them loosen up, and which spots make them clench. It will also be good to get to know whether fingers curled up or fingers straight out are better for your partner as you continue to push. It is also very important to make sure that you leave your thumb sticking out so that you cannot push the knuckles too far in right away. At this stage, most bottoms will find it less uncomfortable to have the knuckles running in line with the ass crack, instead of going against it. Once you begin to get loose enough at this comfort level, then it is time to begin to introduce the thumb. It is not at all uncommon for the knuckles to not quite go as far in on the first couple of tries once the thumb is introduced. Do not worry if this happens. It will pass.
ABOVE ALL ELSE: When you're beginning to go deeper into your partner, as a beginner, you will notice spots where you will experience some pain at first. It is very important that when you reach this spot where the pain becomes a little much, not only must you stop pushing in more, but you should also ease off the pressure just a little bit to take the edge off the pain. When you experience this pain as the bottom, it is important to have some sort of signal to your partner to pull a bit of pressure off. When this happens, avoid your urge to pull out. Instead, focus on taking deep breaths and waiting it out. Once you have started to relax and this initial over-whelming feeling starts to pass, it is important for the top to begin to explore a little with their fingers to help encourage the muscles to relax. It may also be helpful at this point for the bottom to clench their abdomen and push like they were trying to push something out. This will help to open the muscles and let them loosen up to get ready for the next level. Once they have loosened up and relaxed a little with this, THEN it is time to start to push a little more. Always remember that when it comes to fisting as a newbie, slower is better. It will take some time at first.
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Ok, thnx guys! Quick question! Anal toys and all help? Also! Is it possible that it might maybe damage the sphincter? I mean, whenever we do things the sphincter goes back to normal, but we never tried big things as such. Any insights on that?
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Ok, thnx guys! Quick question! Anal toys and all help? Also! Is it possible that it might maybe damage the sphincter? I mean, whenever we do things the sphincter goes back to normal, but we never tried big things as such. Any insights on that?
The act itself if properly done should not damage the sphincter and it will return to normal. Toys would help ease you into the process.
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Speaking from experience as a fisting top, I find it very intimate.
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Personally im not into fisting, but i think if you in a relationship and thats something your partner want to try,you should atleast entertain the idea.
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Speaking as a well experienced fiser (both top and bottom) myself, I can assure you that if you lead into the act slowly and build up to being able to take the whole fist in small stages, it's much like increasing your flexibility. Keep at it regularly, and each time push yourself just a little bit farther, without inflicting too much pain, and eventually you will get there. Once you do manage to get past the knuckles for the first time, it's quite euphoric I must say.
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Once you do manage to get past the knuckles for the first time, it's quite euphoric I must say.
I would like to find that out & it's not for lack of trying. Every time I connect with a guy into the concept they seem to be the men with the hands of a lumberjack. Sigh.
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I would like to find that out & it's not for lack of trying. Every time I connect with a guy into the concept they seem to be the men with the hands of a lumberjack. Sigh.
That just means that you have to keep working at it :zing:
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Keep trying? Don't mind if I do.
Until I am able to accomodate a fist (or even just that butt plug that I bought while thinking to myself "That's a large one?", 5 years on I have yet to manage it & so that's 5 years without a butt plug in me because I won't accept defeat, stubborn, who me?) I will just have to satisfy myself (giggle) with the knowledge that although girth is not my forte I have yet to find the length where I have said "That's too far". On more than one occasion I have wondered about monetizing my abilities (hey, they do say you should like your job) but have never been sure how to contact the drug cartels and let them know of my capabilities.
