Should I "come out"?
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Telling other people that you are gay is called "coming out." Deciding whether to come out is a very personal decision and one that should not be made too quickly. You should only come out if you want to and if you are ready. Coming out is a big decision because, although you hope that your friends and family will support you, it is possible that they won't. There are many issues to consider before making the decision to come out. You should never come out in anger or frustration, but instead because you love the person you are telling and want to become closer to him/her. If you are financially dependent on your parents, you may want to wait to come out to them. It is possible that they may react poorly and try to force you out of the house. You may want to wait until you are more independent. If you do come out, it's a good idea to start by telling someone who you are pretty certain will have a positive reaction. Be sure to have literature available to help respond to the questions you will most likely face. (PFLAG NYC can provide you with information to offer your family and friends.) If and when you do decide to come out to your parents and others, remember that PFLAG is here to help. See details about our helpline and monthly meetings on the back panel
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i'm so glad I came out. such a HUGE weight was lifted. came out when I was 19, and it's been AWESOME! :cheers:
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I think that you should make some preparations first.
What does your family think of gay people? If they are homophobic, then you are for a pretty difficult road ahead. -
On the other hand, your family can sometimes surprise you. I grew up in a very rural area in Kentucky. Homophobia was rampant, but when I came out my family shocked me with their acceptance. Coming out was terrifying and not easy at all, but it is a much better way to live.
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On the other hand, your family can sometimes surprise you. I grew up in a very rural area in Kentucky. Homophobia was rampant, but when I came out my family shocked me with their acceptance. Coming out was terrifying and not easy at all, but it is a much better way to live.
You were one lucky guy, let me assure you of that.
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Yes, sure . That's a heavy weight you get rid of
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I think that coming out is hard, but when you do it it's like not having a pain in the ass anymore!
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I think that coming out is hard, but when you do it it's like not having a pain in the ass anymore!
It si a perfect storm. But i agree that once is passed, the serenity is refreshing.
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Coming out to friends was easy, it's the family that's always the problem.
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I'm staring to
check my public acts tumblr: aroundthere-vids.tumblr.com 
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Yes of course you should come out. There's nothing more liberating in life than being yourself everywhere, all the time :cheers:
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It depends on how you view sexuality yourself. Is being gay a large part of your life do you care about the community/are you apart of it do you care about the laws and such or does it majorly impact your life in some way (like having a LTR) on the other hand if being gay is simply your preference for getting off and there is little or no emotional burden it might be safer to avoid the risks in any major life decision running through at least a basic cost benefit calculation is always good as to the literature 1. read it yourself first before giving it to someone else. 2. if you can try to avoid letting your parents this I have found is especially true for mothers Google gay my son just came out etc. the media hell the community can be very intimidating and scary on this subject especially if the information is older (HIV statistics drug use statistics rape statistics etc) also if you do come out come out in a way that shows the reason your coming out. IE if you care about the community and or are active in a cause talk about that and show that if you want your family to accept a relationship choice go that route and if you yourself are burdened by keeping it a secrete use a whole lot of I statements and make it show that it is emotionally wearing on you. Also tailor it to your audience some dads don't give a fuck who you fuck but would be offended if you suddenly became a "nancy" Moms on the other hand have a tendency to respond better to emotional pleas and sharing personal information especially if you are or were recently a teenager who shut their mother out of everything coming out by sharing personal information will seem like a life line and bring up a subconscious connection with the knowledge your gay and the closeness of your relationship with your mom and or parents. If you are hiding large parts of your personality and it is a massive change tell that when you come out tell what parts you were hiding or trying to keep hidden but if your not going to change then say that as well. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't mow the lawn or that I will quit the football team or stand up in church and invite everyone to a black mass.
As for friends well be prepared to make sure they know you are not attracted to them unless there is a possibility of something happening. it just brings up issues. -
if you want to come out, you should first study what kind of parents you have, and sometimes talk to your parents as well as your family open a topic regarding gay see or look about their reaction, if its ok to them do not just say to them that you are gay, first talk to your mom, just ask her if one of your son 'gay' what are going to do? if its ok to them its the time to revile or open up them.
but if they are against about gay, wait for the right time, that you can support your own. -
Coming out to friends was easy, it's the family that's always the problem.
Agreed. I came out to my close friends one by one (the ones i trusted the most). It certainly gets easier with each person I tell, but when it comes to my family…....I'm not sure if I'll ever let them find out.....maybe on my wedding day. That'll be a big surprise :cheers:
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I actually tested the waters on numerous occasions:
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When my parents talk about anyone who's gay, they usually refer to them as "the gay" like - do you remember our principal, the gay? - sign that for them, it is a unique identifier
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When one of my closest friends came out, (his name is norman) and my parents know him, they started making quips like "oh i thought he was norman, turns out he's norma instead" and "omg are you sure he's not attracted to you?"
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I was once video-chatting with one of my friends when this quirky guy starts singing in a falsetto - my dad heard it. over lunch, he pretty much screamed at me saying: "DO YOU WANT TO TURN OUT LIKE HIM? YOU WILL TURN OUT LIKE HIM!!!"
I guess for me it might not ever be the right time. Both my parents have heart problems and if they were to have a heart attack if I came out, my siblings would most likely blame me forever.
But yes, coming out to my friends wasn't precisely easy, but it opened up my world just a tiny bit more - being able to be open to them. They pretty much opened their arms to my partner, as well.
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You should come out when you feel you are ready to do this. If you can accept your own sexuality then you should come out.
I came out when I was 23 and financially not independent. I live in a very homophobic society and my parents were same. But I was confident I can do it. After 2 years now they are okay with it. Now I feel I am free like a bird.
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Generally I suggest to come out and be out and proud. Not all the time but in gerneral so you don't have to live a life in secrecy.
Of course there are cases where I would not suggest it: russian passport f.e.
And trust your own heart and feelings.
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Generally I suggest to come out and be out and proud. Not all the time but in gerneral so you don't have to live a life in secrecy.
Of course there are cases where I would not suggest it: russian passport f.e.
And trust your own heart and feelings.
:bravo:
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I haven't come out yet. But I've been thinking a lot about that lately (by "lately" i mean the last two years).
Some events in my life are almost pushing me to do, because it's more pressure from my inner conflicts than i've ever experienced before. A part of me wants to avoid to take any decision. The other one urges to take an attitude. -
I absolutely recommend coming out.
