Barebacked last night
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Hi all,
First time posting. I'm 27, semi-out of the closet, never been in a LTR with a guy and slightly sexually inexperienced. The goal is to meet someone special, but until then I find myself having to meet random guys online. Not an ideal situation.
I met this cute guy on Grindr a couple of months back and I've been to his place three times since for some casual sex. He's much more sexually experienced than me and he likes to pressure me to fuck him raw, but I'm against unsafe play, despite the fact that I watch bareback porn almost exclusively (work that one out).
Anyway, I saw him last night again and we tried fucking with a condom (after again declining his raw-dog advances) and I went soft a couple of minutes in. Embarrassing, I know. No idea why though, I've never had an issue maintaining an erection. The moment I ripped off the condom I was pretty much instantly hard again
![😕](https://community.gaytorrent.ru/assets/plugins/nodebb-plugin-emoji/emoji/apple/1f615.png?v=hvqg2qn0nb4 ":-\")
so then we start messing around with some more foreplay and eventually he's sitting on top of me and grinding on me and tactically positioning himself. And then it slips in, and it felt pretty great. I didn't stop. I think I lasted 30 seconds. Double whammy.But I don't know how I feel about all this. Despite not really wanting to fuck him raw, I ended up fucking him raw. Now I'm all freaked out about picking up an infection, and feeling kinda hard done by. I don't intend on contacting him again, in fact it's kinda put me off casual encounters.
On the other hand, I didn't stop. And I struggled to fuck him with a condom on. Is my habit of watching so much bareback porn preventing me from enjoying actual sex with a condom?
I'm not completely sure why I'm writing this, probably just to get it all off my chest as it's worrying me a bit. Would love to hear your thoughts though.
Cheers,
Mike -
First, being the active top your chance of having caught HIV is near zero. However, you could have been exposed to other sexually transmitted diseases. Unless this person is very slutty, I wouldn't worry too much about it but I would take this as an opportunity to get yourself tested for sexually transmitted diseases and HIV. This isn't to scare you or suggest you're infected. These days EVERY sexually active person should be getting these tests regularly. Any LGBT center will have them available, often free.
I get tested twice a year. I've been doing this for more than twenty years. This keeps me in the know about what diseases are spreading and is an unconscious reminder to practice safer sex.
Personally, I wouldn't cut off ties with this person. You have nothing to be afraid or ashamed of in having had casual sex and having him as an acquaintance can remind you not to let yourself get pressured. Keeping him around would also put you in control: If you decide to cut him out at some point you can; cutting him off now because you're uncomfortable or scared means you're a slave to your emotions. Does that make sense?
Condoms take getting used to. We all masturbate without them, so getting into a sexual situation with them is weird and uncomfortable. What I did to get used to them (when I had my first bf) was practice fucking a fleshlight with a condom. After a couple of times, I was used to the difference.
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I really appreciate your thoughts mate
First, being the active top your chance of having caught HIV is near zero.
Surely that's a common misconception, no?
Personally, I wouldn't cut off ties with this person. You have nothing to be afraid or ashamed of in having had casual sex and having him as an acquaintance can remind you not to let yourself get pressured. Keeping him around would also put you in control: If you decide to cut him out at some point you can; cutting him off now because you're uncomfortable or scared means you're a slave to your emotions. Does that make sense?
It does make sense, and I agree with the sentiment. However I think more than anything I'm just waking up to the fact that casual sex in general isn't doing it for me anymore.
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I really appreciate your thoughts mate
First, being the active top your chance of having caught HIV is near zero.
Surely that's a common misconception, no?
For HIV to enter the body there would have to be an abrasion on the penis. The HIV virus can not go through the urethra as the cowpers gland is secreting precum and you're eventually going to nut.
Near zero for anal sex for the top. For the bottom it's very likely they can be infected from an HIV top.Sounds like you learned something from your experience: Casual sex isn't for you. That's a good take away.
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Just get tested when you can. The odds of transmission are quite low, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Practice safe sex.
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Just get tested when you can. The odds of transmission are quite low, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Practice safe sex.
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Sadly condoms make many guys go soft because they take away some of the sensation and pleasure from sex. So you should not feel ashamed or embarrassed about that. Try different types of condoms some types are less likely to cause loss of sensation and pleasure. If that does not work you can go on PrEP while that will not protect you against other STI's it will protect you against HIV. Ultimately it comes down to what level of risk you feel comfortable with.
