How important is coming out to you? and Why?
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Is coming out really so important for people? If you can live with your own circle of people then why go into hassle of coming out?
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@bearuk08 I don't think it is important at all. Straight people don't come out as straight. Just live your life as yourself is my motto.
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OK, so there is a difference between "coming out" and "living out".
"Coming out" is when you reveal to your family, friends, co-workers, etc. that you are LGBTQ+. For some, this is a big deal, for others, less so. It largely depends on your family of origin, and how "closeted" you lived before...
"Living out" is when you live in a manner and lifestyle that doesn't seek to hide your sexuality. You invite your same-sex partner to your company picnics, you discuss your latest same-sex person-of-interest with your family, friends, etc.
For some, "living out" from an early age erases the need for "coming out".... For others, they maintain "separate" lives: a life where people do NOT know their sexuality, and a separate life where they DO... and the people in each "life" are carefully separated... this is "life in the closet", and we generally know that it is unhealthy... But, lest you judge anyone: in some cultures/countries LGBTQ+ is still illegal (even under penalty of DEATH!)
We each must blaze our own path...
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@bearuk08 said in How important is coming out to you? and Why?:
If you can live with your own circle of people then why go into hassle of coming out?
But living with your own circle technically is coming out. Regardless of scale, you did come out to a certain group of people.
The importance of this is releasing the shame you feel, and secondly, feeling safe. Having a sense of safety and security is important, that coming out affords you.
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@stam8 said in How important is coming out to you? and Why?:
@bearuk08 said in How important is coming out to you? and Why?:
If you can live with your own circle of people then why go into hassle of coming out?
But living with your own circle technically is coming out. Regardless of scale, you did come out to a certain group of people.
The importance of this is releasing the shame you feel, and secondly, feeling safe. Having a sense of safety and security is important, that coming out affords you.
Again, and more succinctly, I will gently point out that some people never experience fear while growing up gay - they feel acceptance and love (and safety) from the get-go....
And others live in a culture, where "coming out" to anyone but your actual lover is virtually impossible - and risky! Not for their health, but for their lives (and those of their families and lovers!)
There is no "shared" world experience to be had...
We each have our own paths... in so far as you can find people whose path is similar to your own, it can be very nice! But not everyone has that luxury...
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Coming out is the final line of self-identity that finally how you show up to others aligned with how you perceive yourself
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For me, I never gave a fuck about coming out of the closet. At that time, Madonna really helped me with how I perceived myself and how I stood up against the norms of heteronormativity. And to this day, I still don't give a fuck. Either you take me as I am, or you can go fuck yourself. Sexual orientation, gender, race, creed, and so on are very small parts of who you are as a human being, relating to human beings, or in the name of human beings because we're all made up of many collectively as we're all a part of the human race.
But, that's just my two cents.
