Shut down sexuality
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So, I have nasty skin condition, meaning nothing physical is allowed, and in recent years I've got some mental issues, so platonic relationship is kinda hard too (I tried to keep self-control, still several good guys are now pissed at me).
And in Russia with all these "propaganda laws" available pool of potential partners is pretty small even without such problems.Is there any way to, er, turn off all sexual and romantic needs? Rationally, I understand my predicament, but not all parts of me want to listen, and that frustration adds to stress and makes mental issues worse.
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I'm sorry to hear this, i don't think i can be of help since i've always been a loner/Lonely boy, i've never been with anyone at all (except some experiences as a kid)
This year i wanted to work on myself, feel happy of who i am and maybe that way i would get the courage to seek romantic relations, but this coronavirus situation has just set me back so much :C
i've never felt what it is to miss the connection to somebody, i'm afraid of it. i Wonder sometimes if i experience being with somebody and we separate, will i feel even worse?? what if i get rejected, will i fall into even more terrible shame?
i'm sorry to hijack this thread, but reading your experience made me want to share mine.
i hope you can be happy, remember to treat your mental issues professionally, i think i should do the same.
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The skin problem is causing you to feel shame. That with the Russian laws and all he pressure makes you feel like you should hide and repress a part of you. Obviously it is possible to hide and supress all desire. Is it healthy no. It will ruin your mental and physical health. You should try and seek therapy to help you deal with the image issues from your disease.
Its okay to want to be alone its not ok to think you deserve to be alone. -
Hi!
Sorry to hear about you.
Maybe you can find some chat friend on this platform and develop some frankness with them. -
Is there any way to, er, turn off all sexual and romantic needs? Rationally, I understand my predicament, but not all parts of me want to listen, and that frustration adds to stress and makes mental issues worse.
No, there is no way to turn off your sexual and romantic needs. You can ignore them, suppress them, etc., but you can't turn them off.
I watched this film the other day, about a pedophile. The film was just okay but in one scene, a psychiatrist he seeks help from is very blunt with him about the fact that all he will ever be able to do is suppress his desires and not act on them, but he will never "get well" or be able to "cure" his pedophilia and rid himself of his sexual desires.
https://www.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=744a6386642ad7776fddec564644bbb99cc37cd8aa2ad892
I am so sorry that you are in Russia where there is so much persecution.
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No, there is no way to turn off your sexual and romantic needs. You can ignore them, suppress them, etc., but you can't turn them off.
I watched this film the other day, about a pedophile. The film was just okay but in one scene, a psychiatrist he seeks help from is very blunt with him about the fact that all he will ever be able to do is suppress his desires and not act on them, but he will never "get well" or be able to "cure" his pedophilia and rid himself of his sexual desires.
I am so sorry that you are in Russia where there is so much persecution.Living in Russia is just an icing on the cake - at least in my city you can hook up with someone. The main trouble is skin and head problems, with which I wouldn't get any even in country with legalised gay marriage, but anyway.
Thank you for the answer. Not comforting, but at least definite.Sorry to hear about you.
Maybe you can find some chat friend on this platform and develop some frankness with them.You know, I tried chats. For some reason they make me only ennuous and sick. Maybe it's the chats, maybe it's me and stunted ability to make connection.
Its okay to want to be alone its not ok to think you deserve to be alone.
Yeah, so I deserve to not be alone, but being unable to get it? What's the difference besides semantics?
I hate this tune - "okay, you won't achieve anything, but you still must toil and not give up, because otherwise your life is a failure". Because, I don't know, I'm ruining the image or something, for the ones who do not have my problems? When you're already the failure, what's the point? -
And now for the funny stuff. Roughly once per year I fail self-restraint and create a profile on dating site. Each time it's a mistake.
This time I've found someone at least willing to humour me for a while. I tried to escalate a bit…
Then it turns out he doesn't even live in my city (or in Russia at all, and yes, I made him do a video confirmation of his surroundings) anymore, and has a constant boyfriend too. He was just too lazy to update his info, and chats for fun.If fate stoops to such bullshit to remind me of my place, I... it's... well, fuck it. Now I regret fearing death, 'cause suicide really starts looking like a valid option.
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SSRI antidepressants prevent orgasms, especially in larger doses; they also tend to kill any sexual arousal. Only a doctor can prescribe this medication, because they have severe side effects. I actually read one person’s account that SSRI pills damaged his nervous system in such a way that he’s unable to experience orgasms.
Extreme physical activity and physical fatigue tend to kill sexual arousal as well, as least to me. Go to the gym regularly, exhaust yourself and you will never ever think about sex again, because you’ll only want to sleep
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Antidepressants - hmm, I'll check it out, very thank you. Now to find a good therapist instead of these two previous quacks…
Though last time I heard they are not killing the sex drive as much as revealing it was already dead due to depression (patient doesn't pay attention until they feel good enough to have a use for it again, or something like that), but that may be false info.Exhaustion - unless you have a really good cause it's just a way to run from your problems. And when your problems are permanent, I don't see a point - if you're going to just work youself to death, why bother and not just kill youself directly?
Not planning myself yet, fear of death intact. -
Antidepressants - hmm, I'll check it out, very thank you. Now to find a good therapist instead of these two previous quacks…
Though last time I heard they are not killing the sex drive as much as revealing it was already dead due to depression (patient doesn't pay attention until they feel good enough to have a use for it again, or something like that), but that may be false info.Exhaustion - unless you have a really good cause it's just a way to run from your problems. And when your problems are permanent, I don't see a point - if you're going to just work youself to death, why bother and not just kill youself directly?
Not planning myself yet, fear of death intact.Now, it’s not like you’re going to solve any of your problems in a porn web site. But the intense physical activity is probably your safest bet. You’ll only have a stronger and healthier body overall by doing this.
As for the antidepressants, only SSRI (Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) might work. I say "might" because it’s a side effect unique to every individual. Any sexual activity physiologically becomes more like a chore, like eating when you have no appetite, but you know you have to do it to survive. I think it’s not worth to take them though, you’ll be living with a permanent taste of electricity in your mouth.
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Stronger and healthier body, and nothing to do with it. I'm sort of without opportunities, not just in sex life. While it can easily become worse I don't see a way for it to become better.
It's like if you've got a Ferrarri, but cannot ever drive - yes, it's a great car in principle, but yours is just gathering dust.Yes, I was just lazy to write SSRI in response.
Well, since I don't have to masturbate to survive it doesn't sound that bad.
I have a depression anyway (and I don't really mind electricity taste, it's funny).Thank you, at least you're not bullshitting me with worthless babble about shame.
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Stronger and healthier body, and nothing to do with it. I'm sort of without opportunities, not just in sex life. While it can easily become worse I don't see a way for it to become better.
It's like if you've got a Ferrarri, but cannot ever drive - yes, it's a great car in principle, but yours is just gathering dust.Yes, I was just lazy to write SSRI in response.
Well, since I don't have to masturbate to survive it doesn't sound that bad.
I have a depression anyway (and I don't really mind electricity taste, it's funny).Thank you, at least you're not bullshitting me with worthless babble about shame.
How often do you have to masturbate then?
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Don't have to at all. How often do I actually do that is another question. Answer is anything from daily to once in two weeks, depending on whatever.