Random Conversations from grindr

[warpaint]

Hey, just so I thought, anyone up for a topic with funny, sad, unexpected or mean conversations from grindr, scruff and all other apps ? Just post anything that is interesting or made you smile, laugh or just somewhat you think is worth mentioning.

Can't expect anything highly intelligent from me on apps, usually I'm a casual and often my replies are just ironic, mean and rude or provocative, but that's mostly because of being tired of being verbally molested or just bored I'm massaging people too so I got a lot of creepy offers from perverts.

Guy: Hi! Is there an option to meet? I can give you good money
Me: There is also an option to FUCK OFF
Guy: OH YOU FUCKING LOOSER

Guy: I can offer you money to give you a blowjob. I will pay big money.
Me: To put it in the other words. You're so unattractive that you have to pay people to even give them a blowjob?
Guy: No, I'm paying because I'm discreet.
Me: I will respect your discretion and not reply.

Guy: Hey Instagram pal
Me: Do I follow you?
Guy: I don't know my nick is…
Me: So we're not pals. Go to sleep cause you're mumbling.
Guy: I can't.
Me: Then jerk off.
Guy: I don't like to do it alone.
Me: Then ask your mom to watch.

Guy: Can I pay in nature for that massage ? ;)))
Me: Unless you're shitting cash, no.

That was for example, weird as shit. I don't understand what he wanted to achieve but okay, let's share.
Guy: Hi can I ask you an unusual question?
Me: What the fuck for?
Guy: Would you like to get to know a submissive guy? But not in sex, just in life.
Me: Meaning if the toilet will break you will wait for me to fix it ?
Guy: No. Meaning I'm for the service. Like commanding and I service like cleaning, driving, shopping, just like a towel guy or smth.
Me: Thanks then. I respect your position and preferences but I don't see a relationship with a slave. I'm looking for a real man but good luck in your searches and the life.
Guy: Oh, but you misunderstood me! I didn't mean the relationship. Just a friendship. Being a guy, a buddy just for commands, only for your luxury.
Me: No. Seriously. Fuck. No. Thanks.

And then there are guys who just can't give up and change their password for their gallery three times an hour.

Guy: Beautiful boy you are. *Password1
Me: Incorrect?
Guy: *Password2
Guy: I'll give you when you're online
Me: The fuck?
Guy *Password3
Guy: Now *Password4
Me: Goddamit. Can you fucking stop?
Guy: Hmmm maybe you'll be laughing at it but I care about the discretion. I don't want a possibility of my password getting forwarded.
Me: I'm not laughing. But why the fuck would anyone just send your password. If a guy doesn't think you're attractive he just won't enter the gallery for the second time even if you don't change it. But that's just my opinion.
Guy: (sudden change of topic? :D) Tell me... Would you like me to service you and caress you?
Me: Not really, no. I'm a top sorry.
Guy: I know you are. That's why I dont want to fuck you or even you to blow me. I just wanted to caress your body with my tongue and shove your dick down my throat all the way. I really like you. Sometimes I like to be submissive too.
Me: Aha. Thanks for thinking about me - I'll pass. Not my type.
Guy: What type is your type then? If that's not a mystery.
Me: Just no. Nor the age neither the sex.
Guy: Upsss.
Guy: take care. but I still think you're superb.
Guy: such a shame. You don't even allow the thought of me servicing you...

[DamaDama]

haha
i must say i am against grndr and all the related applications, but reading those conversations made me laugh

[bailey]

Him: Hi
Me: Hey u
Him: Hi
Me: Hi…
Him: Hi
Me: ok Hi again?
.....

[flyboy8v2]

Him: Hello
Me: Hi
Him: Are you looking? (obese 75 years old man forwarded his naked picture)
Me: I did. Thanks
Him: You are rather attractive
Me: Wish I could say the same about you.

[JerodParker]

I hate it when guys act like jerks in Grindr, c'mon.

I hate it when they say they'll trade pics then won't.  Oh well.  We were having a nice conversation too.