Relationship with Dad
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k im a very logical and rational gay guy who didnt have a good relationship with his dad…....
talk abt whether ur relationships with ur dad were smooth sailin
im 99% sure one has nothing to do with the other but i cant seem to get this question out of my head -
Hardly smooth. Dad's a man of the cloth. I'm a gay atheist. Aside from that, I was an afterthought in his life of serving God. My needs as a child were rarely met. God and church came first, then him, then Mom, and then my sister and me. I have a lot of resentments, but Dad's old now and in poor health. We get along okay now even though we are as different as night and day. I take care of him as best as I can. I can't find it within myself to turn my back during his time of need.
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I think I had a good and typical relationship with my Dad.
Growing up I fought any control that he tried to put on me, yet he always supported me in everything I tired and did.
When I came out officially, he was even more supportive, even though he thinks "gays" are wrong.
He and his wife were visiting me in Chile and we went to the beach and while having coffee one morning, he looked over at a bunch of guys that were obviously gay and he made a inappropriate comment. His wife slapped him hard and said,"Your son and his boyfriend are sitting right in front of you, jerk!"
He replied, "but it's my son and that's different"He is an ultra-conservation but I still ove him as he loves me.
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My relationship with my dad is complicated to say the least. He tried to be there for me as a kid, and I do have a lot of fond memories with him. I remember when I was a kid, he jumped out into the rode once when I was riding my bike down a really steep hill and the brakes gave out. He literally stopped me from crashing and getting hurt by using his body to stop me. I'll never forget that. But, then again, there were a lot of times where I didn't feel like he was there for me. Especially once he and my mother got divorced. He got remarried to a bit of a controlling bitch who is now my step-mother.
I came out to him as gay my first year in college over the phone and he just seemed to be in shock. Some of his exacts words were, "It's just wrong", and, "You might as well just go fuck a goat". He's also conservatively religious now (in part due to the influence of my step mother) and I largely consider myself an atheist/agnostic (it fluctuates). He's also preoccupied with his "new" life with my step mother and their young two kids (my half sisters).
I'm now a junior in college and we don't talk too much about my sexuality. He just kind of ignores it. We did have a talk about it a year after I came out, and it was a lot more civil. He still tries to care for me I think (I mean he always gets me Christmas gifts and a present on my birthday; he also pays for my car insurance), but he's trying to find a new sort of happiness in a life with my step mother. I don't blame him for pursuing happiness in that respect, but I do blame him for choosing to be with someone who ultimately forced him to become disconnected from his "old life" in exchange for a "new" one. I suppose I could summarize our relationship as one of some sort of caring, but also of some detachment and resentment. It's become a lot easier to care less about it because I'm becoming more independent, but I've always felt independent from my parents ever since my parents' divorce.
However, I'm quite convinced that the situation would NOT have been any different regardless of my sexuality. I just find it harder to relate with him perhaps and feel very estranged from religion. A side note: this story isn't all sad, I have a really great relationship with my mother and most of the rest of my family!
