My relationship with my dad is complicated to say the least. He tried to be there for me as a kid, and I do have a lot of fond memories with him. I remember when I was a kid, he jumped out into the rode once when I was riding my bike down a really steep hill and the brakes gave out. He literally stopped me from crashing and getting hurt by using his body to stop me. I'll never forget that. But, then again, there were a lot of times where I didn't feel like he was there for me. Especially once he and my mother got divorced. He got remarried to a bit of a controlling bitch who is now my step-mother.
I came out to him as gay my first year in college over the phone and he just seemed to be in shock. Some of his exacts words were, "It's just wrong", and, "You might as well just go fuck a goat". He's also conservatively religious now (in part due to the influence of my step mother) and I largely consider myself an atheist/agnostic (it fluctuates). He's also preoccupied with his "new" life with my step mother and their young two kids (my half sisters).
I'm now a junior in college and we don't talk too much about my sexuality. He just kind of ignores it. We did have a talk about it a year after I came out, and it was a lot more civil. He still tries to care for me I think (I mean he always gets me Christmas gifts and a present on my birthday; he also pays for my car insurance), but he's trying to find a new sort of happiness in a life with my step mother. I don't blame him for pursuing happiness in that respect, but I do blame him for choosing to be with someone who ultimately forced him to become disconnected from his "old life" in exchange for a "new" one. I suppose I could summarize our relationship as one of some sort of caring, but also of some detachment and resentment. It's become a lot easier to care less about it because I'm becoming more independent, but I've always felt independent from my parents ever since my parents' divorce.
However, I'm quite convinced that the situation would NOT have been any different regardless of my sexuality. I just find it harder to relate with him perhaps and feel very estranged from religion. A side note: this story isn't all sad, I have a really great relationship with my mother and most of the rest of my family!
