Sleeping with married men IS NOT OKAY.
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I have a friend who literally only sleeps with married "straight" men. I tell him all the time that I find this to be absolutely despicable and I don't want to hear about it. His defense is:
1. The wife doesn't put out anymore.
My response: So what? That doesn't mean they aren't married anymore. He made a vow to another human being. And if he isn't happy, he needs to leave.2. Nobody's getting hurt.
My response: Would you have that same attitude if someone did that to you behind your back?3. He's gonna leave his wife.
My response: Yeah. Fucking. Right.I find it absolutely reprehensible that there is an entire subculture of the gay community dedicated to bedding married men. It's just sick on both ends. For one, the man is MARRIED. Not just talking to someone. Not just testing the waters. MARRIED. In lots of cases, the men have children. If you're a married man sleeping around, you should be ashamed of yourself. As should you be if you're a man (or woman, for that matter) who chooses to be intimate with a married man.
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what if the guy doesn't tell you he's married? It's just a hook up and you don't get his background.
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what if the guy doesn't tell you he's married? It's just a hook up and you don't get his background.
Well, that'd be a different story entirely. How would you know if he didn't say?
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I find it absolutely reprehensible that there is an entire subculture of the gay community dedicated to bedding married men. It's just sick on both ends. For one, the man is MARRIED. Not just talking to someone. Not just testing the waters. MARRIED. In lots of cases, the men have children. If you're a married man sleeping around, you should be ashamed of yourself. As should you be if you're a man (or woman, for that matter) who chooses to be intimate with a married man.
well, youre the only one that needs to be shamed. try doing your own thing instead of preaching pc bullshit to other people. while you may be right in saying you dont want to listen to your acquaintances (youre definitely no friend to this poor fellow) escapades, youve absolutely no right to tell anyone else how to live their life, let alone pass judgement on them, nobody has.
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well, youre the only one that needs to be shamed. try doing your own thing instead of preaching pc bullshit to other people. while you may be right in saying you dont want to listen to your acquaintances (youre definitely no friend to this poor fellow) escapades, youve absolutely no right to tell anyone else how to live their life, let alone pass judgement on them, nobody has.
Let me break this down for you.
1. First of all, tossing around buzzwords like "PC bullshit" doesn't make you sound smarter. It just makes you sound like an angry Internet troll with no real argument.
2. Just because I'm someone's friend doesn't mean I have to agree with everything they do. That would be stupid. Blindly accepting someone's life choices under the guise of friendship is called "enabling". And I'm not about that life.
3. As tough as it may be for people to swallow, I can pass judgment whenever I want. Just like you did. There's a difference between passing judgment on something someone can't help vs. a decision they consciously made. I have no right? I have every right, my dear.
4. You sleep with married men, don't you? -
Honestly, I don't see why people cheat period. The moment you make up in your mind that you plan to sleep with someone else without the consent of your partner, you're better off just filing for a divorce. Most people who are cheating are selfish, they want to get laid whenever they want with no strings attached and they also want the love and affection of their partner.
I have no tolerance for cheaters and I have no tolerance for people who actively seek out people who are married. Though it is the fault of the person who is married if they decide to cheat or not. I think most people are aware that cheating is wrong, or else they wouldn't be sneaking around to do it. (Which is why I don't think you need to preach about cheating being wrong). Majority just don't care or have some delusions as to why they do it. An example of someone clearly delusional would be your friend who is deluded enough to believe a straight married man would ditch is family for a quick fling. If you like to go after married people i'd say do you. Unless the married couple happens to be someone I know personally, then i'd happily snitch you out.
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You don't have the right to judge people for how they live. You are not a moral paradigm. Nobody is. Next time you do that think about all those stupid people who constantly judge all of us for being gay. Dont be someone like that. If you don't agree or don't like something, that's ok… don't do that... but then trying to be a moral police and dictate how someone esle needs to behave, well sorry, but I also think that's kinda of PC bullshit. Not trying to be smart at all... just trying to be fair and not judge others, the same way I expect not to be judged for what I do.
(And before you start pointing fingers like you did with the other fellow, I don't hang out with married men, and that's actually irrelevant) -
IMHO, cheating is a selfish thing to do under just about any circumstances. Being complicit in it isn't any better. The only instance where it doesn't strike me as totally shitty is when a couple is separated, divorced or planning to divorce and they really have no semblance of a relationship left. Beyond that, if the damage you could cause doesn't bother you in the least, you're probably a narcissistic asshole who doesn't deserve to be in real relationships anyway. That's true of most cheaters, though, so I guess pointing that out is a bit like screaming at a wall.
I am all for honest open relationships and whatever other kinds of relationships consenting adults want to get into. I am not going to defend sham relationships when you have to lie to your wife, partner or SO just to satisfy your own fleeting sexual desires, though. Don't agree to the terms unless you're prepared to hold up your end of the bargain. Simple as that.
Now, let's get another thing clear: None of this has anything whatsoever to do with "political correctness". I fucking hate PC culture, but it's completely irrelevant to this topic. People are conflating "political correctness" with centuries-old Western precepts of interrelational morality. Learn what words mean before parroting them to sound educated (also laughing about the incredibly awkward and unnecessary use of the word "paradigm" in this thread, BTW). A lot of hysterical PC idiots would actually say that monogamy and "traditional Western values" in general (which are admittedly based partly in Christianity*) are bad things.
*It's true that a lot of our Western morals and principles are rooted in Christianity, but those morals and principles have evolved and matured far beyond unquestioning religious deference over the centuries. It would be incredibly naive to boil them all down to archaic religious fundamentalism. It would be outright dishonest to eschew them entirely as some kind of suffocating dogmatic weight foisted on you by society.
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I find it absolutely reprehensible that there is an entire subculture of the gay community dedicated to bedding married men. It's just sick on both ends. For one, the man is MARRIED. Not just talking to someone. Not just testing the waters. MARRIED. In lots of cases, the men have children. If you're a married man sleeping around, you should be ashamed of yourself. As should you be if you're a man (or woman, for that matter) who chooses to be intimate with a married man.
well, youre the only one that needs to be shamed. try doing your own thing instead of preaching pc bullshit to other people. while you may be right in saying you dont want to listen to your acquaintances (youre definitely no friend to this poor fellow) escapades, youve absolutely no right to tell anyone else how to live their life, let alone pass judgement on them, nobody has.
Personally I would be interested in hearing your answers that were posted by PetShopBoys. As a previously married man with children I agree totally with the points being raised by PetShopBoys and can remember that time in my life (closeted) and while the opportunity to fool around was there I too believed in being true to my marriage and the commitment to the person I married and took a pass. When I finally got the guts to be first honest with myself and then my wife, I was pleased that the women I had married who was also my best friend supported me and was there to help me over the bumps of explaining to our children, our friends and families and is still today one of my best friends. Just one more reason to be faithful to the one you're with, be they your wife or your husband. The points being made can also be asked in relation to married men.. to each other….. How would you feel then? Sure be interested to know? :hmmm:
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it may not be right, but it's not like sleeping with married people is exclusive to the gay community.
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I'm mainly attracted to married straight men.
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Are there any cases that they are forced to be str8 and married and then have children but actually gay? Anyway, it is always a difficult question to tell what's right in sex.
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I cannot understand gay men's obsession with straight men!!!! Why do we pine for something that obviously is not attracted to us? Is it the allure of something we can never really have? Is it that weird obsession with only wanting to be used as a hole for straight dick? Don't tear apart these marriages unless you are absolutely sure that its over! and Don't lie to yourself either. I know this may be a little off topic and personal preference but have you seen gay porn with straight men??? It is the most uncomfortable concoction of boredom, one or both of the guys obviously not interested in who's fucking or who their fucking, I'd rather watch something that had flare and excitement when two gay men who are attracted to each other fuck. Not that Johnny Rapid Bullshit where he literally makes the same face every time he gets fucked, obviously faking it. Leave it alone guys there are enough hot gay men out there, leave the straights to their procreation.
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it may not be right, but it's not like sleeping with married people is exclusive to the gay community.
True
cupofass i agree with you 100% on this subject .
especially In porn I get SO Turned off when straight men are acting like ((Oh suck me yeah it feels good . and his eyes goes ::) ))
And i don't fall for straight men ,If i do i will stay the HELL away from it since that is just A heartbreak waiting to happen . -
it may not be right, but it's not like sleeping with married people is exclusive to the gay community.
I don't recall saying that it was. And it would be naive of one to think so.
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it may not be right, but it's not like sleeping with married people is exclusive to the gay community.
I think only sleeping with married men is pretty much exclusive to gays.
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I too don't understand why it's such a 'fetish' in our community. I find it appalling. The lying, cheating and disrespect just because a guy can't be honest and upfront.
It says a lot about men and our community in general. And no wonder stereotypes occur.
Just because sex is readily available doesn't mean a person should have sex with a person who is in a committed and monogamous relationship. If you are going to cheat, tell your partner or leave the relationship. Be a man, no be a human being and be upfront.
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I cannot understand gay men's obsession with straight men!!!! Why do we pine for something that obviously is not attracted to us? Is it the allure of something we can never really have? Is it that weird obsession with only wanting to be used as a hole for straight dick? Don't tear apart these marriages unless you are absolutely sure that its over! and Don't lie to yourself either. I know this may be a little off topic and personal preference but have you seen gay porn with straight men??? It is the most uncomfortable concoction of boredom, one or both of the guys obviously not interested in who's fucking or who their fucking, I'd rather watch something that had flare and excitement when two gay men who are attracted to each other fuck. Not that Johnny Rapid Bullshit where he literally makes the same face every time he gets fucked, obviously faking it. Leave it alone guys there are enough hot gay men out there, leave the straights to their procreation.
::)
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Morally speaking it's despicable, there's no discussion ::)
As a personal opinion
If your friend is making the first move, well he shouldn't.
Otherwise I would be a liar saying I won't accept that proposal >:DMy philosophy is be honest with yourself and with the others,
do what you feel comfortable doing, don't judge and let's see.admitting that's a bit selfish
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I don't like cheating neither. But I'm more radical bc I don't even like to talk with guys that already have boyfriends, not even if they only do it “as a friend”. As soon as they tell me “I'm not single”, I say “Bye”. It's rude, I'm perfectly aware of that. But I simply don't feel comfortable talking with guys in a relationship and I certainly would never fuck a man knowingly that he's already attached. I think that only the swingers who follow the needs of their asses/dicks all the time, are those that do it without thinking about the harm that they make.
