I'm virgin…
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I'm 22 and still virgin. Never ever had sex with man or women before. Sometimes i want to have a one night stand but somethinng stops me and i feel it's not right . I havent came out yet. Really get mad sometimes
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Why ?
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green horn perhaps. dont worry bro. dont have to rush for sexual intercourse. get it done whenever you're comfortable
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"When you're hot you're hot, and when you're not, you're not." At some point, when you are definitely hot and ready to take the plunge, the stars and circumstances will align to let it happen more or less on its own.
That said, you might consider what is holding you back. Do you think sex acts are immoral, even if all parties are available and willing? Is there some germophobic concern? Some religious mythology that says breeding activities are only allowed to perpetuate the species and all the fun parts are a snare and delusion? Afraid someone will think you are too small, too ignorant? Think you are too inexperienced not to embarrass yourself?
And if the latter, what makes you think you would be any less capable than everyone else you know, the jocks, the freaks, the geeks, the nerds, the conscupient Adonis? Everyone has to start somewhere, and at your age you have probably been practicing alone for a great many years and know exactly how to make your dick respond to fulfill your fantasies and dreams.
If nothing else, there are glory holes, which long-haul truckers have used for generations to relieve pressure after a busy day sitting in a vibrating cab pushing an erection against the front of their bulging trousers.
And no matter how confusing and disappointing an initial failure might be, once you finally decide to get over it, once is not forever and there will be plenty of time to get it "right." Also too, if you are interested in partners your own age, the kind found at singles bars catering to any sort of horny crowd in search of a hookup, at least you are almost guaranteed your first experience will be with someone who knows what they are doing and who will be thrilled to help initiate you into the mysteries.
And then, like 22-year-old musician/actor Nick Jonas, you are as likely as not to be wondering, "THAT was it? THAT was what all the fuss and fanfare was about?" OMfingG, what an anticlimax. I can't believe I had built up such a mystique and terror about something so insignificant."
Then, of course, you can join "everyone else" in trying to repeat that activity as often as possible with as many partners as possible until you get really good at it and really good at making it happen as wanted and needed. Maybe the first masturbation you had was incredibly exciting, and then you did it some more, and now it is just part of your life like eating and showering and as much as you may love it, there is not the same one-off discovery you had long ago, and instead it's become a welcome and comforting part of life, a powerful self-healing exercise, a boost to self-confidence and self-esteem as you continue doing what most men do alone even when they get laid regularly because of the convenience, satisfaction, ease of relief, and because variety is the spice of life.
In due course, likely fucking/sucking activities with one or more partners will become equally familiar, welcome, and accepted as a part of your life. Until you find a steady outlet to reduce the pressure in your hose, you may go through the typical bachelor activity of ongoing searches for the elusive poontang or equivalent of your choice, but even then you will have the confidence you now lack because you will have had successful pickups, successful frolics, that make you cocky enough to know that these things are now a part of your world just as you may once have feared they never would be.
Meanwhile, there is no denying that you are more likely to have sexual experiences if you spend time with people who are on the lookout for the same thing, likely in places like bars (bathhouses?), singles clubs, coffee shops, adult education classes where you can be with people who have shared interests apart from sex– neutral places where people and meet and perhaps find new friends or even more. The real question is for you to consider seriously what might be holding you back, cramping your style, inhibiting the primordial inclinations built into your DNA.
When you get to the point of being actively willing to surrender your inconvenient virginity, whether you then develop an interest in sport fucking or spend the same amount of time striving for quality and auditioning potential long-term partners, you will start having more options. It ain't gonna happen if you do not want it to. If you look for potential partners, hang out with others doing the same, you will at least get comfortably social and be making yourself available, which is a crucial start. Making yourself available in your own mind and being willing to go where your hormones take you is what will make you available for others.
Blah, blah, blah. Maybe none of this was one bit useful, but, hey, if ignorant children 13-16 are getting sucked and poking pussy, how hard can the whole process actually be? And while you may not have gotten used to the idea, yet, that women like sex as much as men do, men at least have traditionally been given carte blanche to use any port in a storm and to take their release freely. Whatever you or other individuals may do to inhibit or resist that louche activity, at least the rest of society accepts, approves, and actively encourages men to get on with it. And while not everyone approves the kinds of things gay men get up to together, at least gay men themselves are pretty much into it and ready to play, so the odds are, once again, in your favor.
Good Luck.
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I am having the same situation with the OP!
Everything is too much the same!
Honestly, I want to do something with the one I love. But the fact that I haven't come out, so most of my friends whom I like (love) are straight! That why, I can not do something gone far beyond the line!
Even I am handsome and great body! But it is the same! Gays approached me, but I don't like ones approaching me, ones I like, i don't know how to approach them! -
to be honest I am 28 years old and still a virgin. I work at a factory with a bunch of guys and they obviously joke about having sex and share stories. And one time they asked me I said I'm a virgin still and then all the jokes came after of how I'm still a virgin. to me I don't find it funny or anything just not ready or haven't found the right person. Almost had a one night stand but then stopped because that's not the way I wanted to do it. I want to be fully ready and content of with who it will happen to. So whoever reads this just take your time and be patient.
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To everyone who is still a virgin and is ashamed of it: DON'T BE. Seriously, that's it. There is no absolute reason for feeling embarrassed for such a thing, as mentioned above sex is pretty much nothing (seriously, once you do it you will realize it too), it's just stupid society who makes this whole fuss around it. Yes, it is nice. Yes, it may feel great. But nothing more than that. Think of it as a hobby you haven't tried out yet. You don't have to do it at a certain age, and there is nothing wrong with you even if you never do it. I know how much frustration this whole thing creates in your mind since I lost my virginity at 21 which is way older than most people lose their virginity today. But what you have to realize is that sometimes good things take a long time before they happen.
On the other hand, if your problem is approaching guys, I can assure you as an ex-super-introvert (I am still an introvert and a shy person but I'm working on it) that dating apps are worth a try. Yes, you won't hit a gold mine on the first try. Yes, you will get a lot of perverts and weird people message you. But eventually you will find someone who is interested in you (and YES some guys actually find virginity sexy, so don't be afraid to mention it after you talk with a guy for a while). All that goes after that is simple: you will meet, go for a couple of drinks or something, talk, and if you click with each other, THINGS WILL FIND THEIR OWN WAY. If not, there are thousands of other guys you can experiment with. This is how it happened with me, this is how it happened for literally everyone. First kiss, first blowjob, first full sex, first relationship… They are all going to happen as soon as you don't overthink it let things follow their natural flow
Be patient, be optimistic, BE YOURSELF.
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Alright kiddies (?), you've got enough pep talk from previous posters so I'll give you some pointers:
Again, it is not bad to be a virgin. Do not rush the experience due to peer pressure or because you need to prove something.
To all of you with straight crushes…FORGET THEM. 99.90% they are not into you, so stop making yourselves suffer.
Define what you want. Love or sex? It would be great if we could have both in a nice package, but unfortunately it doesn't always happen that way. SO.............
If you're looking for love, try enrolling in gay groups (sports, drama, etc) That way you'll meet gay acquaintances in a non-sexual environment. This way you can make friendships and maybe something more deep. Love has to be nurtured and developed. Also, you will make a net of gay friendships which can give you much needed support.
If you're looking for sex, well there's a lot of safe places where you can go to relieve yourselves, seriously. There are groups for that (really, the advantages of the internet era) and some venues, for example, well known gay saunas or other places that guarantee some degree of anonimity, cleanness and safety. And don't be shy and tell them is your first time (to the staff in order to learn the rules of the establishment) and to anyone who fancied you (so they are gentle). And be prepared! No condom, no fuck with strangers
Yeah, yeah…I know...You might be thinking that I've gone mad suggesting this stuff (the sex related one), but really if you are horny and curious is better for you to learn how to proceed in this cases in a safe environment. Better than doing it in a dimlit alley outside of a porn shop. -
Wow Eridanos thank you your advice really helped me a lot and everyone else thank you for your wisdom and knowledge. It is greatly appreciated.
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I'm 27 and still virgin. And that makes me feel special.
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Eridanos – Good advice, Eridanos. You already know that, but the more Thumb's Up remarks you get for it, the more it might be noticed and be put to good use.
My feeling is that most people who have not gotten laid have some kind of hangup about it. Best book EVER is out of print, by the late Albert Ellis, a blunt- (crude-) talking advocate of any kind of sex that turns you on with a willing partner. That would be Sex and the Single Man, which argues forcefully in favor of seduction, taking someone's virginity for their own good without feeling guilty about having "ruined" them. How to have fun wife-swapping.
These days, gotta keep saying he's not into rape, etc., but if you are a young man who needs to feel okay about getting your first fuck or giving someone theirs, Ellis, Ph.D., is The Man. Also check out his Sex Without Guilt.
On the other hand, Homosexuality, Its Cause and Cure is a product of its ignorant times and could be maybe written an authorized today by the Republic*nt legislature of North Carolina and other former Confederate states still pandering to bigots and advocating nullification of laws they don't like (the US Constitution, for example). But, as usual, I digress.
Yeah, Sex and the Single Man is premised on the notion of men getting it on with only the appropriate sex men use for breeding and pleasure, so that his permissive manifestos rule out same-sex love and same-sex physical release, but you can ignore that part knowing that eventually he got over it.
His main point is that sex is good and good for you. Masturbation is not harmful and is good and good for you. Having as many partners as you like is good and good for you. Even if they are married to someone else. He believes that sex is just sex and all the barriers and inhibitions are garbage. As I said, he eventually even noticed he was still carrying and promoting some garbage of his own. But as a bracing and eye-opening defense of doing what comes naturally to the libido, he is as liberating as anyone since, oh, I dunno, maybe Ovid.
Once you get over the idea that it would be Terrible (terrible, terrible, terrible) if anyone knew you were aware of having a dick and wanting to use it, were willing to use it without shame or guilt, did not feel you needed to flee to a confessional to tell some capon priest all about doing what he is forbidden to do.... Then you can start looking for potential partners.
And once you get over the idea that it would be terrible if anyone knew you were aware of having a dick and wanting to use it, were willing to use it without shame or guilt, did not feel you needed to flee to a confessional to tell some capon priest all about doing what he is forbidden to do.... Then you can start looking for potential partners.And if you want love first, then go where you can find candidates for love. Bars, for instance. Lots of strait dudes have an active bachelor period in which they at least tell themselves they are auditioning candidates for LTR possibilities. And many horndogs are just happy to get a free blowjob, NSA, at some adult bookstore (ABS) gloryhole or sauna. Either is better than the danger of cottaging, using a "tearoom."
Once the Rubicon has been crossed, the mystery and magic of the great but fake Taboo can have a lot of benefits. Once, maybe still, puberty first presented a teen boy with expected dating behaviors with girls, constrictions that may even last into marriage. Now, options are greater and easier to explore and you can take advantage of the progress made in most of the country (at least in the US).
Since most of us (I think this is true) have most of their first sexual fantasies about friends and celebrities who are or are believed to be str8, such normal attractions no longer need to be a limitation. Without access to porn, one can notice baskets on swimmers, bulges on athletes, the abs of classmates and convex curves of men all unconscious of their innocent allure. Or perhaps an appeal not even esp. innocent, but accented by means of some "come hither" advertisement.
Women like a nice butt, which strait dudes mostly are unaware of and never think of as a sexual attraction, though they may enjoy at least fantasizing about the appeal of their burgeoning cock and ball appendages. It used to be that you could get through the virgin years of shameful lust and dangerously lurid longing on the perfectly valid theory that "straits are so naive," as young me was helpfully informed when that was true salvation.
Now, though, even when someone knows you are looking, they may not be resentful. Just saw a story about Mickey Rooney, who was a hunky eyeful in his teen years and eventually a serious pussy-hound, turning down an advance by Rock Hudson. Rooney "surprised but not offended" because "I like girls. I thought everybody knew that."
This is not to recommend coming out before you are squared away and prepared to deal with the consequences. Just saying that same-sex attraction is part of broader cultural change. Also, too, at least through college years, hets can fool around under the guise of horndog experimenting and "boy was I drunk."
You only have to see the videos of enlisted US Marines, sailors, and other active military who seem to feel they are macho enough not to be threatened if some queer wants to suck their macho mean and enjoy satisfying a "real man." Similarly, surfers and skaters and other young, comfortably secure, sexually insatiable and confident dudes can take advantage of the services available (if they can find them), and are perfectly capable of performing -- often in more than solo ways -- for some quick cash either in very private life (quick money to take out the gf for some more desirable action) or for paid videos.
It does sometimes seem that a tectonic shift is taking place so that pep talks and arguments from a shrink like Ellis are not so much needed as they once were. Which returns me to the point that more and more sex is being incorporated into acceptably normal human behavior, and both men and shock women are assumed to enjoy satisfying their inherent needs.
I just saw a 1972 television detective show where someone casually referenced having a vibrator. "Vibrator." Likely that got passed by ignorance censors as some meaningless word not worth thinking about, in the same way that Dashiell Hammett got away with calling someone a "gunsel" in The Maltese Falcon. Everyone thought the term meant some kind of gunman. In fact, that misunderstanding was so pervasive that the slang term is still often used that way. Don't trust me on this-- look it up. Not nearly as benign and inoffensive a term as "vibrator."
Hmm. Wandered all over the map again. Since I cannot personally help a poster who does like Jeptha's Daughter in the Buy Bull and "bewails" his virginity, though many kind souls right here would likely be willing to sacrifice themselves to take away the problem in person, maybe I just like thinking about the issue.
And remembering my own innocence, of course. dirty snicker Yeah, I can still remember. "Only the young die good."
Rambling on, it occurs to me that those seriously attracted to other men are more likely to resist the kind of camaraderie that straits don't think twice about. Ahahaha!
Goosed you good. Ahahahah! That towel snap really got you that time. Hey, it's boring out here in a combat zone -- let's camp up some musical videos for our girlfriends. In fact, let's do a whole gay act. That will be hilarious!Check YouTube for how that works out. An all those jocks covering "gagnam style."
For heaven's sake, if str8s relish boner service from some queer eager to provide it, sometimes hitting new orgasmic records they have not neared from unskilled or lackluster attempts from disinterested women, then if a dude refuses to indulge because it will "mean" something, it's a matter of self-esteem and self-confidence, not even failing to find a volunteer on Craig's List. If all else fails, there are men who will pay to swallow yr semen just as some women will get you off for pay.
And all that is not only enough, but way too much. Best of luck to all the dudes still working on a way to get some satisfactory action.
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if guys tell stories at work and ask for your experience, lie. They are doing it as well
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don't rush
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I'm 20 and I had the same feeling. I wanted to lose my virginity just to have sex and experience it. But at the same time it felt wrong to me. Though I ended up giving in and having sex and afterwards I kinda regretted it. I think I overhyped sex too much in my mind or in a way I might have tried to force myself not to hype it up. But at the end of the day sex wasn't like what guys always bragged about. It felt good but honestly to this day I have better orgasms by myself than with others.
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So I have a slightly different view on the situation - I think sex instincts are given by nature and one MUST use it otherwise it will show up in other bad ways - physically and mentally. Besides, one needs to start exploring one's sexual likes and dislikes from an early age. Because it takes a long time to find out what one is necessarily into - not just str8, bi or gay. Even within those categories, there are different things that turn different people on. You have to find out yourself. So sex should be with multiple partners - explore and reflect on each hookup …what you liked and what you did not. I am in my thirties and got active in my early teen years. Can't say I have fully discovered myself yet.
Modern morality about sex with multiple partners being bad ....being faithful is a virtue ....etc. etc. are not NATURAL. It is superimposed upon us by Christianity and Islam.
So for god's sake, go lose your virginity. Hookup with guys - and find out what is it that you enjoy and what not. Sex should be just one facet of your life - not your ENTIRE life. And if you are 22 but never got laid, sex (and thinking about sex) will become your life. That is not healthy. -
in the first step make good BF
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after that u can explore every thing with him step by step in safe sex
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do u feel u r gay or not this is very important quistion
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If you're looking for sex, well there's a lot of safe places where you can go to relieve yourselves but sure not in Gaybar !!!
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or gay party
