Mother or Brother?
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Do you think that our mothers know about us even if we don't come out? And if you had to tell your mother or your brother about being gay what do you think would be easier?
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I think that mothers do know these things… They have an intuition...
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In my situation, I will go with my Sister (I don't have an older brother).
My mother always think that gay people are disgusting and they have a malfunction brain. But my older sister is on the opposite position, she think us people are normal and never ever talked bad about us.
I don't know what will happen to my mother if she find out one day. -
Mothers always know, this is a fact
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sister personally
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Mothers always know, this is a fact
Trust me, my mother was leterally shocked when I told her
Anyway, maybe she knew but she was in complete denial… -
Mothers always know, this is a fact
Trust me, my mother was leterally shocked when I told her
Anyway, maybe she knew but she was in complete denial…It's hard to tell if they know or not..
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The first person I told was my mother, and she admitted she suspected that I was gay … but my mother is a forgiving person and open-minded (for her generation), and what I had to tell her was harder for her to accept than being "gay." It was difficult for her to understand (still is), and I think she would've been happier if I could've just told her that I was gay. My sister is the same as me, though, and all my siblings are a lot easier with accepting the concept of sexuality being a spectrum.
My siblings learned after my mother. In particular, I was worried about telling my brother (he very much was entrenched in the "gayness is perversion" sort of adolescent male talk that was typical when I was going through high school, in the late 90s). He's a lot more comfortable with the concept now because he's met so many other people and had a chance to realize the diversity of humanity at large, and that's harder for my parents ... but in retrospect, I still would've told my mother first. For most people in most families, the mom is going to be the one most likely to invest the effort and endure the shock of the first "reveal" moment (she's also more likely to be the one that's wanting to constantly ask you about your dating life and the prospect of future grandchildren). That's just the culture and background I grew up in talking, I know, but I think it holds true across the globe in many ways. Part of that assumption is more nature than nurture.
Still, don't be upset if she never quite "gets it." My parents have completely binary thinking. You're either one way or the other.
The sad truth is I've met many older people in the LGBT community who are exactly along the same lines. It's been a lot harder for me to "come out" as bi to some of the gay men and lesbians I've met while volunteering and stuff than it ever was to tell my mother that I was about to date another man. I've literally been told to "go away" by a man that were hitting on me fiercely for over an hour .... once he found out that my last date had been with someone with a vagina. To this day, I still have trouble getting people to understand that it can often be more difficult to gain acceptance as a bisexual man in a roomful of openly gay individuals than it is to gain acceptance as someone who identifies simply as "gay" in a roomful of heterosexuals.
There's going to be rejection and lack of acceptance among any group, is my point, but family should be trusted to eventually get over it. I vote for your mother. You'll be okay. You'll know when the right time is; and you'll feel better once it's over. It may take an adjustment period for both of you once the truth is just out in the open, but within weeks you'll be feeling free and happier than you'd ever have known, just because you're finally able to stop pretending to be something you're not with the closest people in your life.
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**_Maybe I am one of the few lucky ones who doesn't have to come out because ever since I was in grade school, my parents and siblings all knew I was gay, no drama and in my high school days, I always bring my gay classm8s to my house
About 10 years ago, we attended a family reunion and I overheard one of my relative jokingly told my father that our family name has ended since I cannot provide them with an heir coz I'm gay and my father replied "I'd rather have a good and useful gay son than a bum of a hetero son" and for that I will be forever grateful to my father_**
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**_Maybe I am one of the few lucky ones who doesn't have to come out because ever since I was in grade school, my parents and siblings all knew I was gay, no drama and in my high school days, I always bring my gay classm8s to my house
About 10 years ago, we attended a family reunion and I overheard one of my relative jokingly told my father that our family name has ended since I cannot provide them with an heir coz I'm gay and my father replied "I'd rather have a good and useful gay son than a bum of a hetero son" and for that I will be forever grateful to my father_**
You are lucky to have such a father!!
;D
