Confess at home my boyfriend is a daddy.
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I'm a twenty-ager, and I live with my boyfriend. My mother knows about me, but she doesn't know that my friend is over 60. Should I tell it to her?
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This is what I'm afraid about. I'm 22 and have been seeing a 61 year old lately.
I guess it would all depend on whether or not your mother is conservative or accepting. Does she ever scoff at similar types of relationships between men and women? You might never know until you tell her.
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She asked when I had said my friend is 'older' that "but he is not in your father's age". I said no (because he is older :-D).
Unfortunately one of my uncle has had some issue with older women…But my sister is very acceptive, she has already met with my friend, and I think she liked it.
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First, there are dating sites for twinks and older men. My friend met his husband online like this, they have a very similar age gap as you, and they are now married.
You need to be okay with dating someone older, I am dating someone 21 years older than me (he's 48).
This means he has more vacation time than I do, he's further in his career, having children is not practical, and we will both be at different places in life all the time. He may leave this planet before I do, but there is also a chance I will first. So knowing that, I planned to be happy and accept the facts surrounding age differences.
Also some fabulous feel good points about dating older men is it comes with great perks:
If they don't have their shit together by 40, they probably never will lol, saves you time dating.
More experienced, you'll learn a lot from them. They are more intelligent.
I don't get paranoid wondering if he is cheating on me (we're monogamous), but that could be because my bf earned my trust (we said if we cheated it would be worse to say nothing and possibly give the other person an infection because THAT would end it for sure, not the cheating so much at that point). Though that is probably tougher to communicate than as an idea.
They generally have more stability, since their mortgage or loans are usually paid off or low. Mortgages and loans are a HUGE stress for my straight friends getting married, but not for me
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In my opinion, don't tell her. its your personal life, no body should be involved in that and keep it indoor, however if its culturally and socially acceptable you could go publicly.
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First, there are dating sites for twinks and older men.
Examples?
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Hmmm… the most important thing is how you feel about dating this person (or any person who's older). When you're comfortable, everything else doesn't matter. If you bring it to her respectfully and she has a problem with it, that's HER problem, not yours. She may need time to come around, but again, it she doesn't, that's her problem.
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You could always test the waters by having a conversation with her about "gold-diggers". If she talks about Anna Nicole Smith like shit when talking about her marrying a man 3 times her age….Stay quiet. If she says to each their own, open up (but not in the same conversation, that would seem manipulative).
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How serious are you about him and how serious is he… If you are serious then you may tell your mother. She would accept it sooner or later
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Depends on a number of factors really, It's mainly down to how open she is about relationships and love in general. This may be a little blunt of an example but if you've grown up without a father figure she may see this as it being a "phase" where you're looking for a father figure in your life rather than see it as you being into more mature men..
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I think that deal with the truth is always best. But is a hard decision to take.
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What she doesn't know won't hurt her. If you guys become serious and consider more than just living together, you probably should introduce each other.
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If it's a serious relationship you are going to want to tell her sooner or later. why wouldn't you. Everyone is so gung ho about coming out, but people here are advocating deception and lying in this situation? Double standards, sorry.
It's probably going to take some adjusting and TIME. Even if you were dating a 60yo woman it would take a lot of adjustment for your parents to get used to. But the more they see he is not taking advantage of you, which would probably be their main concern, and that it is a real and loving relationship they will get used to it and grow to accept it. it's no different to them adjusting to any other kind of relationship they hadn't imagined for you. Let your parents have their little temper tantrums and shock and awe about it, it's a natural reaction, they will get over it eventually, and if they don't it's their loss at least you were honest and didn't try to keep it a secret from them which I think would feel more hurtful to a parent than their child finding love, in whatever form they find it.
