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    How to come out to a dad i barely talk to?

    Coming Out
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    • I
      inni last edited by

      haven't talked in years, scared this could be the nail in the coffin if I tell him of our relationship, any help?

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      • XFER
        XFER last edited by

        Do you have (or had?) a good relationship with your dad before this long stretch of time with no talking? If you were in good terms, I think you should just try not to hide this fact to your dad. Maybe going out to places with your boyfriend, where people who know your dad frequent. Maybe even sent him an email and ask him to reply when he is ready.

        The best option would be of course telling him straight to his face, but I don't know much about the situation, and confront him with something like this could end bad.

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        • A
          aname 0 last edited by

          If you don't have a relationship with him, why do you feel the need to come out to him? I don't bother coming out to people I don't know very well family or not, why bother?

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          • L
            LoveCain last edited by

            I agree that coming out isn't always necessary. Honestly I'm more the type to just introduce people to my boyfriend or such, and if they are surprised whatever, but now they know.

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            • WackyRabbit
              WackyRabbit last edited by

              Why do you feel the need to come out to your dad?  You haven't spoke to him in years. something went wrong that neither of you wanted to pick up a phone an say Hi.  Are you looking to rebuild your relationship with your father?  I believe truth is always the best answer but I am not in your shoes.  You need to figure out if he really deserves you honesty.  A father that does not speak to his son in years, not to mention a son that does not speak to his dad.  If you really need or want to tell him, then tell him the truth.  My opinion is that is he really loves you as his son, he will accept you as a man, and respect you for telling him the truth.  Again I am not in your shoes, so whatever you believe deep in yourself, go with it, you can not be wrong in something that you truly believe in and doing.

              Remember me with smiles and laughter
              For that's how I will remember you all
              For if you can only remember with tears
              Then please don't remember me at all.

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              • C
                ckslad last edited by

                if you barely talk to him, it should be easy.

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                • L
                  lineb last edited by

                  easier than who you talk so much to.

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                  • warpaint
                    warpaint last edited by

                    I know exactly what kind of situation you are in.
                    My dad was an alien too. I mean he's quiet, I didn't know anything about him. He's also from another country so he is isolated in Poland. He never talked about his feelings. I didn't know what he does, who he is, even what job does he have. I'd seen him every sunday for a few short hours. So I think I know how hard it is. Cause it is. It's just you don't know this man and even though it's your dad you just feel like it's a stranger which you are bounded still.
                    You should always do it with an honest conversation. I always encourage people to do that.
                    But well, I did this the other way. My mom did. She just told him. Just like that. So the problem solved thogh I told her I'm gonna do it myself. But she doesn't listen. I think half of my family know because she couldn't keep her mouth shut. But it still did the job. He texted me that he knows about my "otherness" but that doesn't change that he loves me. So yeah. If you have such a big problem then that's one way.

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