Should I make a move?
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I have a crush on a friend of mine. I'm not out. He's 'straight'. Thing is, I think he may be into guys and may have a thing for me too. But I can't be sure and making a move then being turned down or worse, being exposed, will be so devastating. What should I do?
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Be cautious and make it slowly, ask him things that may hint if he is gay or not
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^ I agree, you don't want to accidentally make things super awkward between you two if he's not. Just make like subtle hints at things about him liking guys and see how he reacts.
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yes better do that, i did that on a job and ended being fired (not bring cautious enough)
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I wouldn't do anything if he's a good friend and you don't want to take a chance on losing him as a friend.
Also, how do you know he's a true friend if you're not out to him?
Why not come out to him first? See his reaction and if he stays your friend. Doing that, I imagine you'll have a pretty open conversations.
If he's straight, gay, or bi, and a good friend, I'd think long and hard about making any moves tho. -
I wouldn't do anything if he's a good friend and you don't want to take a chance on losing him as a friend.
Also, how do you know he's a true friend if you're not out to him?
Why not come out to him first? See his reaction and if he stays your friend. Doing that, I imagine you'll have a pretty open conversations.
If he's straight, gay, or bi, and a good friend, I'd think long and hard about making any moves tho.:true:
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Before I even make any suggestions, I have a few questions. What would you like to happen with your friend? By making a move do you just want sex, or are you hoping for more?
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I'm experiencing these kind of situations these last years too, so i can understand you….i'd suggest that you free yourself of this burden as soon as you can ( i didn't in the past with my best friend and now is too late ) but at the same time there's no reason in wasting a beautifyl friendship; you could try tell him before that you're gay and see how he reacts,then decide if is the case to tell him..... but if he's not a very close friend and you don't mind the outcome just try and tell him.
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Get him drunk and subtly question him in a way that seems joking and random, usual drunken talk.
Don't try it on with him, you're gathering information when his guard is down and more likely to be honest with answers.
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Everyone seems to have given you some good advice. The best would be to come out to him (if you honestly are courageous enough). Note that if he doesn't have a good attitude, then expect other things. Testing the waters is fine also like others said.
As for the post above me, it's fine if you ask questions when he's drunk sense guard is down. HOWEVER note that there are chances where it will end up being a violent situation. Especially since it's impossible to know what a person might do when drunk.
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If you are not prepared to get hurt and get rejected. Then you are not yet ready for a relationship! coz mostly no relationship is easy and all of us goes into many struggle in life but some of us choose to face those struggles and learn from it. It's your choice. I;m gonna leave you with this saying from the TV cartoon "Billy and Mandy"
"that is why it is called crushes, coz ur gonna get crushed in the end"
by: Mandy
GOOD LUCK DUDE :))
