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    What would you do if you fall into love with a straight man

    Sex & Relationships
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    • 2222
      2222 Moderator last edited by

      Sure, its though, been there, but the worst is loving a gay to pretend to be straight.

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      • R
        ryoseiteki2 last edited by

        I once fell for my best friend.  He's straight, but quite comfy with himself.  We talk about quite literally everything.  I told him if he ever gets curious, I call dibs.

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        • O
          Olitommy last edited by

          @2222:

          Sure, its though, been there, but the worst is loving a gay to pretend to be straight.

          Or a guy who's so closeted that he never intends to acknowledge you in public as anything other than your frien

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          • M
            Minerboh80 last edited by

            😞

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            • I
              indybr05 last edited by

              that would be hard
              but i think i would kinda get some distance from him, and try to move on

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              • R
                ryoseiteki2 last edited by

                @Olitommy:

                @2222:

                Sure, its though, been there, but the worst is loving a gay to pretend to be straight.

                Or a guy who's so closeted that he never intends to acknowledge you in public as anything other than your frien

                That hurts so much worse.  Falling for a straight man is just yearning for the unobtainable, but that's like having something that could, should and would be better, but you just aren't worth it to him…
                That's how I felt about it anyway.

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                • I
                  isb4mature last edited by

                  it happened to me so many times. i cant really explain but yes…. its highly painful.
                  the main problem is, the communication u do with him and the stuff he doesnt understand.
                  u come back home empty handed.
                  miserable.....!!

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                  • L
                    Louism last edited by

                    I'm now in a deep crush with my straight colleague. He is cool and playful. I seem to see him every time I close my eyes.

                    I know I will be able to move on after he finishes his contract here and move back to the HQ.

                    I feel very happy every time I am around him. I think It's just a good feeling to be a secret admirer.

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                    • ben351500
                      ben351500 last edited by

                      There was a period of time that I was constantly falling for straight guys. This eventually passed; I still have the occasional crush or lust-on, but I'm able to see it for what it is and deal appropriately.

                      What I discovered after a lot of thought was that during that period of time, I was feeling very distant from the gay scene; I'm not into bars or clubs, am rather plain looking and overweight. In other words, I was feeling very insecure about my looks, body, and social skills, and found trying to get to know other gay guys VERY intimidating.

                      I was also in a period of self-sabotage (job, etc) where I was so afraid of failing at something that I would either A) opt out and not even try, or B) do something that would end the situation soon after the start. The logic is: the best way to avoid failure is to not participate in the first place. I'm sure we've all done this to ourselves at one time or another.

                      In the case of falling for straight men, I did it because it was SAFE. I already knew what the outcome would be (nothing) and so indulging in this was a way for me to feel emotional without the risk of having to eventually go through an actual rejection. Trying to connect with a gay guy was far riskier because there was the possibility of some degree of success - and in my own insecure mind, almost a certainty of failure.

                      I'm not saying this true for everyone else, but I found out that this was my truth.

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                      • M
                        Minerboh80 last edited by

                        There is a certain attraction for the straight guys!

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                        • P
                          pzhang519 last edited by

                          No matter what, I still think you need to try and also need to know all the consequences that may happen in the future.

                          First, you should know whether you want to keep the friendship with him if you action failed. if you want, your influence step should be very slow, and in that case I am not sure whether you could keep that feeling that long.

                          Second, get close to him, play game with him, care about his life and work, but not too much, try to make him feel that you are his close friend.

                          Third, after being friend, try to let him accept who you are, if he is a homophobic, then you should give up immediately. Because sometimes his homophobic feelings will transform to violent and he also may feel that you cheated him.

                          Fourth, if he can accept you, try to influence his life habit, and when you can occupy most of his time and normal life, at this time, I think you are very close to the success.

                          Finally, I do not recommend you to change him. Because when he have to face the pressure from his family and society, he might give up very easy. And all your work and love, at that time, is nothing but trash.

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                          • I
                            italianstyle last edited by

                            I had a relationship for two years with a straight guy: it was the weirdest thing ever. We loved each other, even had sex occasionally, and we were very close friends. Then he met a female woman and his urge to procreate and leave his genes for future generations ruined everything. But we're still friends and I'm hoping he'll come to his senses, get a divorce and come back to me 🙂 Of course, I've been waiting for 20 years, but who's counting?  :cheesy2:

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                            • V
                              vr5y last edited by

                              move on, don't waste your time on someone that will never love you back

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                              • R
                                ryoseiteki2 last edited by

                                There's this great scene in United States of Tara.  Great show, I recommend it to everyone.
                                Background:  The show is about a woman with Dissociative Identity/Multiple Personality Disorder.  One persona thinks she's a 17yo slut.  Her and her husband have two kids, the younger being openly gay.
                                Son falls for boy. Boy is pastor's son.  Son tries to get closer to boy.  Become best friends.  Son makes move on boy.  Boy approves.  They have a closeted relationship. 17yo slut comes out, hits on boy.  Mom and boy make out.  Son sees.  Son flips shit.  Sister gets real:

                                Jason is nothing but a bi-curious church monkey who's using you to find some edge.
                                So maybe he will fuck some guys, and maybe you can get him to fuck you.
                                But he's gonna marry a girl, and he's never gonna love you the same way that you love him.

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                                • F
                                  fuckall last edited by

                                  do nothing, get over it

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                                  • 1
                                    1hotstud 0 last edited by

                                    Been there when I was a teenager, it was tough.
                                    Never done it since. Never will. I know better now.

                                    And if you do you just have to stop moping after him and get over it as quickly as possible.
                                    Every day you spend on him is a day wasted.

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                                    • K
                                      kumar777 last edited by

                                      already gone through this shit. was in one sided love with my best buddy who was straight.i'm glad it's over and i have grown out of it.

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