How to be…a bottom?
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Hi! This question may seem stupid to most of you, but since I don't have anyone to talk to regarding this matter…
It's been almost two years since the last time I've had sex. I have made the decision not to have sex anymore because every experience I was having back then was below average. I couldn't feel like it was worth my time and effort, and I don't even blame it on the guys I've been with. The fault must be mine, only I don't know why.
I still don't feel the need to be with anyone again, but recently, when I masturbate, I tend to touch my anus with my fingers almost instinctively and this has never happened before. But it kinda hurts and doesn't give me pleasure. Yet I still picture myself being fucked by someone in the future.
How can I make it enjoyable? I've read stuff about it but I must still be missing something...?
Sorry if this looks ridiculous
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The biggest key is to start slowly and make sure that you use lots of lube. Slowy begin to play with yourself back there and you'll learn to start relaxing. Before you know it, you'll be good to go.
Also, in some cases, finger nails (among other things) can bring a certain level of pain when playing with yourself that a cock for some reason just doesn't. Do not fear this, as it is normal and will pass. That being said though, make sure that you keep pushing yourself slowly over time. Remember…. Rome wasn't built in a day.
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The biggest tips I can give you are to relax and use lots of lube. Also, make sure your fingernails are trimmed and you've "cleaned" yourself down there before you do anything else. Nobody wants a poopy penis. Take things slowly because rushing is only going to hurt you. Good luck!
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Hi! This question may seem stupid to most of you, but since I don't have anyone to talk to regarding this matter…
It's been almost two years since the last time I've had sex. I have made the decision not to have sex anymore because every experience I was having back then was below average. I couldn't feel like it was worth my time and effort, and I don't even blame it on the guys I've been with. The fault must be mine, only I don't know why.
I still don't feel the need to be with anyone again, but recently, when I masturbate, I tend to touch my anus with my fingers almost instinctively and this has never happened before. But it kinda hurts and doesn't give me pleasure. Yet I still picture myself being fucked by someone in the future.
How can I make it enjoyable? I've read stuff about it but I must still be missing something...?
Sorry if this looks ridiculous
Not ridiculous at all! A part of the sexual pleasure of the anus is not the anus itself but the idea that your partner is penetrating and taking you :).
A couple of tips
1. Buy a shower enema kit - clean yourself out thoroughly. Unless you're into scat - an unclean hole can be a turn-off during the act.
2. Invest in plenty of lube - there is no such thing as too much lube - I prefer liquid based lubes (oil or water based are fine) as opposed to those globby ones. Be aware that oil based lubes make condoms vulnerable - so if you're having sex with someone always use water based.
3. Invest in a butt-plug and a few dildos of various sizes
4. Practice and go slow! Don't jam the dildo up there, use plenty of lube and slowly slide it in. When you meet resistance, leave it there and breathe and then slowly slide in a bit more. The butt plug is good to loosen your muscles, and the feeling when it eventually slides it and your arse eats it up is amazing.Eventually I think you will get the hang of it and anal sex will be a lot more enjoyable.
Good luck!!
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There are lubes that have MINOR muscle relaxants in them which can help but you must use a condom or they ten to make the guy penetrating go flat plenty of lube also remember your average dildo or but plug is harder/firmer than a dick even a rock hard dick has give. also cheap dildos use a condom over them because the tend to have imperfections which can cause scratching similar to fingernails. go slow make it easy and by yourself do something that makes you really horny or pulls you out of your mind a bit alcohol (small amounts get you to tipsy or auto-erotic asphyxiation or go on a HARD LONG run) help in the beginning they take away a lot of the apprehension that can cause tensing and tightness make sure to masturbate while your using the dildo or but plug or your fingers the first time. Douching not in the shower but with a bulb is a great way to train your muscle to relax and tense on command also helps loosen you and get used to the feeling of something inside you USE WARM water cold is a fucking shock and quite frankly AWEFUL. Now as far as soap goes if you use any you don't have to make sure its an enema soap as regular can dry out the mucous membranes and make it itch dry and painful. small vibrators help to loosen you up in the beginning. Do not use a numbing agent like anal ease until you are aware of your limits afterwards use at your discretion. Porn or hell your favorite tv show with hot guys can distract you and allow you to do the initial penetration and discomfort without issue.
