Hi! This question may seem stupid to most of you, but since I don't have anyone to talk to regarding this matter…

It's been almost two years since the last time I've had sex. I have made the decision not to have sex anymore because every experience I was having back then was below average. I couldn't feel like it was worth my time and effort, and I don't even blame it on the guys I've been with. The fault must be mine, only I don't know why.

I still don't feel the need to be with anyone again, but recently, when I masturbate, I tend to touch my anus with my fingers almost instinctively and this has never happened before. But it kinda hurts and doesn't give me pleasure. Yet I still picture myself being fucked by someone in the future.

How can I make it enjoyable? I've read stuff about it but I must still be missing something...?

Sorry if this looks ridiculous