@flozen:

So, this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.

:blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink:

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

:blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink:

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?  Because the “P” is silent.

The second one is the best one tbh.

@fezobe:

What a web of lies tbh.

@geekguy:

Doesn't he also say something like (paraphrasing from memory here):

"they're both green, but that's too obvious."

He did, yeah.

@flozen:

I was just looking through the world's worst thesaurus.  Not only is it awful, but it is awful.

LOL.

@zebrapenis:

French for tired is fatigue (pronounced fatty-gay)

Ah gotcha.

@flozen:

Four gay men are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating.

One of the guys looks around, irritated, and asks, "OK, who farted?".

Sadly, I can see this happening irl, lol.

@zebrapenis:

They had their shit packed the night before.

What a terrible bottom and top, haha.

@JohnAllenson:

I can't believe it took me so long to recognize I was dating a Communist.

I just ignored all the red flags.

And the red ink and the red outfits and all the deluge of red everywhere…