OR is it the other way around? Gay men, just like straight guys, would prefer more to date those that are shorter than them (for machismo effect)?

Thanks!

I thought he's not like the others out there. The way he seems to enjoy getting intimate with another guy.. I thought it's real. I thought he's gay. But just few hours ago, I read his interview on this blog:

hxxp://www.edgeptown.com/index.php?ch=columnists&sc=&id=112063

And never can I imagine that i'll be so affected. Or that it will hurt more than a real life break-up. With a broken relationship, you just loose someone; but with a shattered fantasy you seem to loose a very big dream. Like some strong foundation inside you was strucked to pieces and it hurts so much to feel its collapse.

Rockway is straight and it's all just performance. Didn't see that one coming, really. I remember the first time I watched one of his Randy Blue stuffs and 'wow, oh my god he's gay..' and that made him so perfect to me. You know, someone that you can really fantasize meeting in real life. The gay guy of your dreams.

I don't know how can I still watch his videos now. It will just hurt. You know that feeling when you learned that someone you thought was just on your reach was in fact an impossible star?

That voice. That face. Are there really gay Chris Rockways out there? Or are they really all just 99.9% straight (but not narrow)? Do Chris Rockways of the world sometimes mess around with other dudes but will prefer to end up with a woman anyway?

Is it really all just a fantasy? Will it be logical if I’ll still dream?

I need someone to look upto. A star I  can always gaze at every night. Someone my heart can wish for. The trophy that’s waiting for me after all the obstacles i’ll go through.

I keep telling myself to never mistake porn for reality. Chris Rockway might be straight and happily married but that doesn’t automatically  mean that the other  Chris Rockways out there are the same. My mom told me there’s someone for everyone. I don’t believe in marriage nor happily ever afters but I do look forward to settle down with someone some day.

So who are the real GAY porn stars that you know? All I can think of is Harry Louis (‘cause he have a boyfriend) or Adrian Toledo.

I’m not hating on gay-for-pay actors (why would I, I’m a fan) but there’s really just something divine about a real gay porn actor. Specially if it’s a Chris Rockway (that voice. That face..)

The industry is all about fantasies and lies, so what does gay-for-pay really mean, anyway?
*Doing gay sex acts and acting clear to the audience that you’re straight and is only doing gay porn for money; 
*Or  doing gay sex acts and acting that you enjoy it (this type of lie can extend to gimmicks such as porn stars that are really straight but pretend to be gay on and off the camera)

Anyway, sorry for the very long posts. I wish I can find a new Chris Rockway pornstar. You know, a Chrois Rockway that’s really gay.

Thanks for reading!