Posts made by leatherbear


And that is a GOOD thing!!!! Thanks loved them!!!

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.

"Listen," says the Doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience.

When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have intercourse with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks."

Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"

"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."

"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house."

@bluehue:

mom?


It was simply a case of the right bulbs going out at the wrong time. But passers-by couldn't be blamed for thinking a smirking prankster, or something much darker, was responsible when they looked up at the neon sign for Elmurst Hospital in Queens, N.Y., which then displayed the ominous phrase "I'm hurt."

When The New York Times showed Elmurst spokesman Dario Centorcelli a photo of what a missing E and S had wrought, he seemed surprised. "Oh, God, are we going to get this fixed?" he wondered.

We can only hope the hospital stays more on top of the situation when patients come in hurt and in need of fixing.
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This guy is sitting in a bar drunk. He asks the bartender, "Where's the bathroom at?" The bartender says, "Go down the hall and make a right."

Well, all of a sudden, everybody at the bar hears this loud scream coming from the bathroom, and they wonder about what's going on in there. A few minutes go by, and again, everybody at the bar hears another loud scream that came out of the bathroom. This time, the bartender decides to investigate, and he goes into the bathroom to see what the drunk is screaming about.

He opens the door and asks the drunk, "What's all the screaming about in here? You are scaring all my customers away."

The drunk whines, "I'm sitting on the toilet and every time I go to flush it, something comes up and squeezes the heck out of my gonads!"

With that, the bartender looks in and says, "No wonder! You're sitting on a mop bucket, you idiot!!"


The rules for this forum are the same as for GT.ru in general: The same banned studios and pics apply to this forum as well as any other forum on this site. However, I would ask that anyone that finds this material offensive to keep your opinions to yourself and respect others rights to choose the behaviors they participate in as an individual right. This is not a debate forum but we do have a debate forum if you would like to post your comments there please feel free to do so.Attacks both personal and in general will not be tolerated.

These Forums are called "SPECIAL INTEREST GROUPS" for good reason and if this is not your "cup o' tea" we understand that and I would recommend one of our other "SIG's" or perhaps PM staff about starting a "SIG" that does suit your tastes Judge not!!!


Future posts are cumming!!!! We may need a day or so to get things rolling here but do not let that stop you from making posts if you would like!!!

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell – but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."

I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water & tableware; he too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I looked around the room, and all the waiters, waitresses, busboys, etc. had spoons in their pockets. When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had to ask, "Why the spoons?"

"Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some consulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and after months of statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons drop spoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil; at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per workstation . By preparing all our workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time…nearly 1.5 extra man-hours per shift." Just as he concluded, a "ch-ching" came from the table behind him, and he quickly replaced a fallen spoon with the one from his pocket. "I'll grab another spoon the next time I'm in the kitchen instead of making a special trip," he proudly explained. I was impressed.

"Thanks. I had to ask."

"No problem," he answered, then he continued to take our orders.

As the members of my dinner party took their turns, my eyes darted back & forth from each person ordering and my menu. That's when, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a thin, black thread protruding from our waiter's fly. Again, I dismissed it; yet I had to scan the room and, sure enough, there were other waiters and busboys with strings hanging out of their trousers. My curiosity overrode discretion at this point, so before he could leave I had to ask. "Excuse me, but...uh...why, or what...about that string?"

"Oh, yeah" he began in a quieter tone. "Not many people are that observant. That same efficiency group found we could save time in the men's room, too."

"How's that?"

"You see, by tying a string to the end of our, eh, selves, we can pull it out at the urinals literally hands-free and thereby eliminate the need to wash our hands, cutting time spent in the restroom by over 93%!"

"Oh, that makes sense," I said, but then thinking through the process, I asked, "Hey, wait a minute. If the string helps you pull it out, how do you get it back in?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the other guys; but I use my spoon."

Suspect arrested in brutal slaying of gay man in Puerto Rico
By Arthur Brice, CNN

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• NEW: Activist attributes ill will toward gays to some religious, political leaders' "hate rhetoric"
• Puerto Rican gay community wants police to see if slaying was a hate crime
• FBI is monitoring investigation and is prepared to offer help, agent says
• Suspect, 27, set to attend court hearing Tuesday at which charges will be lodged

(CNN) – A suspect has been arrested in the slaying of a 19-year-old Puerto Rican man found
Friday decapitated, dismembered and partially burned, police said Tuesday.

The U.S. gay community is asking authorities to investigate whether the slaying was a hate crime
because the victim, Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado, was gay, said Pedro Julio Serrano of the
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.

"The brutality of the slaying and the fact that he was openly gay leads us to believe it was very
possibly a hate crime," Serrano said.

Authorities are investigating whether the killing involved sex, Guayama police Commander
Hector Agosto Rodriguez told CNN affiliate WLII TV.

Guayama prosecutor Jose Bermudez identified the suspect as John A. Martinez, 26. Police had
earlier described him as a 27-year-old man from the interior Puerto Rican town of Cayey.

Martinez was scheduled to attend a court hearing late Tuesday afternoon at which charges would
be lodged, Bermudez said.

The FBI was not directly involved in the investigation Monday, said FBI Agent Harry Rodriguez
of the San Juan office.

"The FBI is monitoring this investigation by police in Puerto Rico," Rodriguez said. "Any
assistance that the police requests or requires, we would be more than happy to provide."

Puerto Rican authorities may ask for help with forensics or other advanced investigative tools the
FBI could provide, Rodriguez said.

The U.S. attorney's office, in consultation with local officials and other agencies, would
determine if the slaying was a hate crime, which is a federal offense.

"It's at a very preliminary stage," said Lymarie Llovet, a spokeswoman for the U.S. attorney's
office in San Juan, Puerto Rico's capital.

Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory, which means federal agencies have jurisdiction.

"There's the potential for a federal investigation," Rodriguez said.

The suspect was arrested Monday around 11:30 p.m. AST at his home in the Mogote de Cayey
neighborhood, said Wilson Porrata Mariani, spokesman for the Guayama police district, which
has jurisdiction in the case.

Police impounded two cars and also are investigating a home in another neighborhood, Huertas
del Barrio Beatriz de Cidra.

Lopez Mercado's body was found on Puerto Rico Road 184 in another part of town, Barrio
Guavate de Cayey, police said.

The slaying has reverberated throughout the gay and lesbian community in the United States,
where supporters started a Facebook page called "Justice for Jorge Steven Lopez -- End Hate
Crimes." The group demands an investigation by Puerto Rico Gov. Luis Fortuno and prosecution
of the slaying under the Federal Hate Crimes Law.

The law was enacted in 1969 to guard the rights of any U.S. citizen engaged in any of six
protected activities, such as voting, going to school, applying for a job or attending a public
venue. Last month, President Obama signed into law the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr.
Hate Crimes Prevention Act, which extends federal protection against illegal acts motivated by a
person's actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability.

Gay activist Serrano said he does not believe anti-gay sentiment is any stronger in Puerto Rico's
Latin culture than anywhere else.

"That's a long-debunked myth, that our culture is more homophobic," Serrano said.

Instead, he attributed any ill will toward gays to "hate rhetoric" by some religious and political
leaders. One politician, he said, recently referred to gays as "twisted and mentally ill."

"That's the kind of rhetoric that incites violence against gays," Serrano said.

Equality Forum, an international gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender rights organization, asked
for a federal investigation.

"Equality Forum calls on U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder to have the FBI investigate," said
former federal prosecutor Malcolm Lazin, the group's executive director. "The Matthew Shepard
Amendment empowers and requires the federal government to prosecute this horrific murder."

Serrano said Lopez Mercado was a "very, very dear friend" he had met through a mutual
acquaintance.

"Jorge was a person who you only needed one minute to fall in love with," Serrano said.

Lopez Mercado often volunteered for gay causes, Serrano said.

The teen's family is coping, considering the circumstances.

"It has been horrible, but they are very grateful that it has come to a quick resolution," Serrano
said.

This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?