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    Posts made by andymyn

    • ACTOR ANSEL ELGORT ADDRESSES GAY RUMORS: 'BE TRUE TO YOURSELF'

      The Fault in Our Stars alum Ansel Elgort, who is set to play gay pianist Van Cliburn in an upcoming biopic, took to Twitter yesterday to clear up persistent gay rumors. The 20-year-old actor addressed the social media speculation in a way that was calm and collected - without some of the homophobic overreaction that we see so often from other male celebrities faced with similar rumors.

      Just in case it isn't clear… I like girls. A lot.

      — Ansel Elgort (@AnselElgort) December 18, 2014
      Also let me say if I was gay I wouldn't hide it. Being gay or straight isn't bad or good it just IS. U are who you are. Be true to yourself.

      — Ansel Elgort (@AnselElgort) December 18, 2014
      Louis Tomlinson, are you taking notes?

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • RUSSELL TOVEY SHARES HIS THOUGHTS ON SEX WITH JONATHAN GROFF, RIM JOBS, AND HIS

      Looking actor Russell Tovey spoke with Chris Azzzopardi at PrideSource, who quizzed him on some of the juicier aspects of the gay-themed HBO series which is set to return next month, specifically the outcome of the Patrick/Kevin/Richie love triangle, and his sex scenes with Jonathan Groff.

      Tovey says that because he and Groff are both gay, they've achieved a certain comfort level:

      You can do anything; your hands go everywhere, and it's fine. Neither of us at any point feels uncomfortable, and that's why it's so good. We just completely trust each other, and we go for it. Neither of us hold back or feel any pang of responsibility for the other one when it comes to that. We just trust each other on a completely open level. Either of us could go to the other, "Hey, you should put your dick in there."

      One of the highlights of that relationship last season for many was the appearance of Tovey's bare ass, which he realizes won't always be the case:

      In the future, I imagine myself looking back and going, "God, I had a nice ass. Glad I got that out." If it's there now, I'm getting it out because it's not always gonna look like that. I don't want to hide it. And it's nice that people like it. I've been very lucky. I've grown it myself, and I also have my parents to thank for it being well-received.

      Tovey also says that a "rim job" birthday cake he shared on social media may play a part in one of the future episodes: "Ahh, as the season goes on you'll see where that [phrase] comes from."

      For more on his coming out, auditions, and his life in San Francisco, head over to PrideSource.

      (images via Instagram)

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • COLTON HAYNES HAS THAT HUNGRY LOOK

      Writes Executive Producer and writer Jeff Davis on the show's official Tumblr from the set of Teen Wolf: “Shot from Colton’s trailer. We asked him to show us his new body, the product of three months of serious training. Of course, he struck a model pose.”

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • 'FULL HOUSE' ACTOR IS NOW A GO-GO BOY WITH A SEXY GAY MUSIC VIDEO

      Blake McIver who played Derek, Michelle's friend on Full House, is now all grown up and putting out romantic gay music videos.

      Check out "Wish I Didn't Need You",

      He's also a go-go dancer. Said McIver to Inside Edition: "It's hard when you've been blessed to have success at a young age, and then you wake up at 18 and no one cares anymore…There's no shame to getting paid to dance around in your underwear."

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • TAYLOR LAUTNER SPOTTED HANGING OUT AT GAY WEST HOLLYWOOD CLUB WITH UNDERWEAR MOD

      Whether you think this is another piece of irrefutable evidence Taylor Lautner is gay or just some really great fan service on the part of Lautner, I think we can all be appreciative that the 22-year-old hottie graced one of our shared spaces with his presence.

      Andrew Christian model Murray Swanby recently instagrammed the above photo at The Abbey with the caption:

      Ugh @official_taylorlautner #taylorlautner.. I've never been more #attracted to someone in my life.. #husbands??! Hahaha half kidding #hotstraightguy #twilight #hotguys #feck #TouchThursdays

      The speculation continues…

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • TROY AIKMAN: GAY IS NOT MY 'LIFESTYLE CHOICE'

      In an interview published by Sports Illustrated this week, former Dallas Cowboy Troy Aikman says he is still "bothered" by a 1996 claim made by then columnist now sports commentator Skip Bayless that he is gay.

      Aikman calls being gay a "lifestyle people choose," calling it "ridiculous" that someone might think he'd choose it:

      I’m upset about it because it was made up and there was nothing accurate about anything that was insinuated. And he did it, as he does everything, just for attention. I am probably more upset because I probably should have responded to it at the time it was going on. The advice to me was “Hey, just don’t address it. It’s not worth it. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s ridiculous. All it’s going to do is have people continue to talk about his book.” So I didn’t. But I probably could have responded differently and maybe that would have changed things. Maybe it wouldn’t have. But it is ridiculous, and, yeah, it bothers me. If that is a lifestyle people choose, so be it. It doesn't affect me one way or another. But it is not my lifestyle.

      Aikman told a radio host in 2011 that he was still so angry at Bayless over the claim that he might resort to physical violence if he ran into him.

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • GAY ACTOR MAX VON ESSEN'S BLISTERINGLY TRUTHFUL FACEBOOK LETTER TO FRIENDS SUPPO

      A open letter to friends supporting Mitt Romney on Facebook by actor Max von Essen, who plays Magaldi in the Broadway production of Evita, is getting some attention around the web.

      VonessenIt's well worth a read.

      Hey (    ),

      Listen, I know you didn’t mean any harm commenting on this post and I like you, we had some great times growing up. But Romney and Ryan believe that I am less than you. They believe I am a second class citizen and don’t deserve the same rights that you had the privilege of being born into simply by being straight. They want to add a constitutional amendment that will ban gay marriage forever. It will set us back decades and ensure that I never legally have the opportunity to have a family or a partner in my lifetime.

      They also believe that being at your partner’s side when he/she is dying is a benefit, not a civil right. They could keep me from my partner dying in a hospital. Could you even imagine something like that in your own life? Being separated from your wife on her death bed? Could you imagine your marriage never being recognized and being told that your family is not a family and you do not deserve any federal rights that comes with marriage. Over 1100 rights.  Did you know that? 1100.

      Ryan doesn’t believe in the hate crimes act fought unwaveringly for by Judy Shepard, mother of Matthew Shepard, murdered for being gay in Wyoming. Murdered for being gay. Could you imagine if I was murdered for being gay? Could you really look my mom in the eye and say ‘oh well, we can not prosecute this crime as a hate crime’?

      I know there are important issues involved in this campaign. I know people are suffering and the economy has not improved at a rate we all wish it would. Yes, people are suffering but the gay and lesbian community has been suffering for hundreds of years and I am so tired of it. So tired of feeling that I am less than. So tired of knowing I have friends on here who will vote for someone who will keep me a second class citizen for my entire lifetime. I have already spent half a lifetime hiding, half a lifetime conforming. It is exhausting, demeaning and I am worn out. I want to love myself full out.  I want a president who can look me in the eye and say ‘You are equal!’ ‘You are equal to everyone else in this country and I will fight for your rights. The time is now and it is long overdue.’ Romney and Ryan could not look me in the eye and say that and I feel sorry for every gay and questioning child who might have to listen to a president who believes that he/she is not equal. Children will take their lives. It is the WORST form of trickle down bullying and it absolutely splits my heart in half. When the president says you are less than, it gives permission to every authority figure, every politician, every teacher, every bully on the playground to push you around and bully you and treat you less than. It is dangerous and lives will be lost.

      If this is not important to you, please remove me from your friends list. I need people in my life who love me and consider me 100% equal.

      Max

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • Lesbian Widow Sues FedEx For Refusing To Pay Survivor Benefits

      The widow of a FedEx employee is suing the company for refusing to provide her with federally required pension benefits, reports NCLR.

      Lesly Frances TABOADA-HALLThe company’s decision to deny Stacey Schuett (pictured above left) benefits is solely because both spouses are women.

      Schuett and Lesly Taboada-Hall (pictured right and above with their two children) were together for 30 years before they married in 2013. After being diagnosed with cancer in 2010, Taboada-Hall and Schuett married from a hospital bed in their California home in front of their two children and close family members and friends.

      At the time of Taboada-Hall’s death, she had been a FedEx employee for more than 26 years.

      FedEx has refused to provide the benefits because its pension plan incorporates the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), even though that law was struck down as unconstitutional in 2013.

      Representing Schuett, attorney Nina Wasow said:

      “Federal pension law protects same-sex spouses just as it does opposite-sex spouses. Employees who have same-sex spouses deserve the same certainty as others that their hard-earned retirement benefits will be there to protect their families.”

      Also representing Schuett, NCLR Legal Director Shannon Minter added:

      “FedEx cannot hide behind DOMA to justify its discrimination against Ms. Schuett and her family. The Supreme Court’s decision striking down DOMA made clear that employers must recognize the spouses of their gay and lesbian employees.”

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • Why There Should Have Been No Stay in Today's South Dakota Marriage Ruling

      As Towleroad reported, we can put South Dakota in the marriage equality win column. The decision, which you can read here, reads like many of the other pro-equality orders from district courts over the last two years:

      First, marriage is a fundamental right;

      Second, the Supreme Court has said so many times;

      Third, that fundamental right has been denied to same-sex couples;

      Fourth, the state has no compelling reason to override such a basic and important right in our democracy.

      Therefore, the state's ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional.

      Q.E.D.

      Whether U.S. District Judge Karen Schreier (pictured) took the fundamental rights approach above or the equal protection approach some other courts have chosen – gay marriage bans treat same-sex couples differently from opposite-sex couples for no good reason and are, therefore, a violation of the guarantee of equal rights -- the result is the same.

      The result in the South Dakota case also resembled many of the other district court cases from almost every other state in that implementation of the order was stayed pending appeal.

      This used to be standard practice. Judges have been staying their marriage equality rulings since Judge Walker decided that Proposition 8 was unconstitutional back in August, 2010. Back then, it seemed like the safe way to go. We were, after all, breaching new ground.

      It no longer makes any sense, not after the Supreme Court refused to grant a stay in Florida pending appeal. As I argued previously, the Court's refusal to extend the stay beyond January 5, 2015 was special because it was the first time the Court let stand a pro-marriage equality decision in a jurisdiction where the appellate court (11th Circuit, in this case) had not yet spoken. Everywhere else, in South Carolina, for example, or in Idaho, the Court let marriage equality go into effect because the Fourth and Ninth Circuits, respectively, had spoken.

      South Dakota is in the Eighth Circuit, which has not had occasion to decide a marriage equality case in the post-Windsor world. Therefore, with respect to the stay, South Dakota is just like Florida: a state with a pro-equality federal district court decision that should not be stayed even though the superior circuit court has not yet spoken.

      It is a shame the stay was put into effect. The judge was probably just being cautious. But her caution extends the hours of discrimination and second-class citizenship for thousands of gay men and women.

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • RE: WATCH: Cute Twins Come Out To Their Dad In Emotional YouTube Video

      Hope you doing good… 😛

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • States Defending Gay Marriage Bans Costing Taxpayers Millions In Attorney Fees

      Plaintiffs in successful same-sex marriage lawsuits have been awarded more than $800,000 in attorneys fees' from states that defended the bans, with another $2.6 million in requests pending, according to a new report from The National Law Journal:

      Federal district judges across the country have issued nearly three dozen rulings since late 2013 declaring state same-sex marriage bans unconstitutional. Attorney fee petitions haven't been filed yet in the majority of those cases as they go before circuit courts and the U.S. Supreme Court. The fee awards, agreements and requests to date offer an early snapshot of what these landmark civil rights cases could cost taxpayers. …

      Plaintiffs who prevail in federal civil rights cases can collect legal fees from the losing side. Congress set up the fee-shifting rule as an incentive for lawyers to take on time-consuming and expensive civil rights litigation, said Deborah Ferguson, lead counsel for the couples who fought Idaho's gay marriage ban.

      In Idaho, the plaintiffs' attorneys were awarded a whopping $410,663 — the most in any state thus far. But that hasn't stopped Republican Gov. Butch Otter from continuing his futile defense of the state's marriage ban in court. The other states where plaintiffs' attorneys fees have been awarded or agreed to in same-sex marriage cases are Kentucky, Missouri, Oregon and Virginia. Requests are pending in Alaska, Arkansas, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Carolina, West Virginia and Wisconsin.

      Of course, the plaintiffs' attorneys fees don't include the cost to taxpayers of states paying their lawyers or hiring outside counsel to defend the bans — or, for that matter, lost revenue from wedding-related spending where same-sex marriage is still not legal.

      All told, it seems that defending discrimination isn't cheap, and states that continue to fight same-sex marriage better be prepared to pay up. And the irony is, many of the same folks who advocate lower taxes are the same ones fighting hardest to deprive same-sex couples of the freedom to marry.

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • Jax's Gay Past Returns on 'Vanderpump Rules'

      Vanderpump Rules, Bravo's reality show that follows the lives of the employees of Lisa Vanderpump's West Hollywood restaurant Sur, got a little gayer with the revelation that beefcake bartender Jax Taylor used to live with a gay modeling scout, John (who first discovered him), and also modeled nude. Vanderpump previously hinted that she believed Jax has probably slept with a man.

      After John reunites with Jax, things take a turn for the awkward and vaguely homoerotic when John pulls Jax in close to tell him, "I want you to realize I love you because I'm over you and still love you as much as I did in the first place." Jax cryptically responds, "But I'm a bigger person now. Because I was so young and just thrown into it right off the bat."

      What exactly was Jax thrown into? Jax's confessional doesn't clear up much: "When I started modeling it was looked at as a homosexual thing," Jax says. "It was for gay guys. I'm coming from middle America where there's no gay men." Cut to Jax saying, devoid of proper context, "That was my first time ever. I didn't know what anything like that was, you know."

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • On Gay Rights, Vietnam is Now More Progressive Than Much of the U.S.

      BY PATRICK WINN / GlobalPost

      The communist government just reversed its ban on same-sex marriage.

      BANGKOK — US politicians of all stripes are fond of condemning Vietnam’s poor human rights record. As one US Senator from Arkansas puts it, America has a “moral obligation" to stand up to oppression” in the communist nation.

      But when it comes to gay rights, conservative US states like Arkansas are actually lagging behind Hanoi.

      Vietnam’s communist party abolished a ban on same-sex marriage last week. Unlike states such as Texas — where vindictive politicians want to stop paying any official who certifies a gay wedding — Vietnam’s political class has responded with a collective shrug.

      Make no mistake: Vietnam is an authoritarian state. Dissent is criminalized. Critics who blog or protest against the government end up in prison. Human Rights Watch, which points to a “human rights crisis” in Vietnam, has catalogued abuses ranging from rampant bribery to abusive police.

      But as long as gay couples refrain from denouncing Vietnam’s communist party, they’re generally left alone.

      Same-sex marriage still isn’t totally endorsed in Vietnam. Unlike for straight couples, whose marriages are protected by laws dictating rights to assets (and other legal perks), gay marriages aren’t fully recognized on par with traditional marriage.

      “But marriage is no longer banned,” says Luong The Huy (pictured), a legal expert with ISEE, a non-governmental organization formally titled the Institute for Society, Economy and Environment in Hanoi. “That’s important because anything banned in Vietnam is officially seen as harmful to society.”

      “It’s not perfect,” says Nguyen Anh Tuan, the owner of Gay Hanoi Tours. “It’s not completely there but it is a great step in the right direction. … Vietnam has always adapted and by learning we become stronger individuals, families and country. I think everyone would agree Vietnam is a quick learner.”

      Still, Vietnam is hardly a gay utopia. An ISEE study suggests that roughly one-third of Vietnam’s gay population is closeted. Gay couples holding hands on the street “may get some verbal abuse but it’ll probably be behind [their] back,” Huy says.

      As Tuan puts it: “Some people will clap and cheer. Others will, I’m sure, shout and spit.”

      Comparing the road toward same-sex marriage in Vietnam and the US is tricky, Huy says, because “we have a totally different system and context.” Vietnam — unlike much of the United States, or many of its Asian neighbors — isn’t under the sway of a religious doctrine casting gay couples as deviant.

      In Aceh, the most orthodox corner of Muslim-majority Indonesia, gay sex is punishable by 100 lashes by a man in dark robes. The Philippines, a bastion of Catholicism and a former US colony, is mired in an America-style debate over same-sex marriage.

      But Vietnam is an atheist state with few religious hang-ups. Gays in Vietnam are more likely to fear condemnation from mom, not God, according to Hoang Van Chuyen, operator of the gay-friendly service Rainbow Tourism Vietnam. “Almost all parents would like their sons or daughters to get married and have babies,” he says. This family pressure, he says, forces many gay Vietnamese to “live two lives” and conceal their romantic interests for fear of disappointing family.

      Fully legalized gay marriage, with all of the benefits enjoyed by straight couples, may be in store for Vietnam in the near future. During official deliberations on same-sex marriage, Huy says, Vietnam’s officials were prepared to offer full benefits to gay couples.

      But they retreated, he says, and decided to merely repeal the gay marriage ban in the eleventh hour. “The lawmakers,” he says, “are saying our society just needs a little more time to accept gay marriage.”

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • Indian Youth Affairs Minister Suggests Government-Sponsored 'Cure'

      Goa is India's fourth smallest state in population. Speaking at the opening for Goa’s 2015 National Youth Day, Goa’s sports and youth affairs minister, Ramesh Tawadkar, said that the Goan government was considering a state-sponsored program for LGBT youth similar to Alcoholics Anonymous. The program, which has not been formally announced, would work to “cure” queer youth through a mixture of counseling and medical intervention.

      "We will make them normal,” Tawadkar said. ““We will train them and (give them) medicines too.”

      Tawadkar went on to explain that the Goan government has plans to carry out an extensive survey within the country’s LGBT population to better gauge the community’s social needs. As news of Tawadkar’s remarks drew the attention of the LGBT press, the minister made further statements saying that he had been misquoted.

      “I was not talking about the LGBT (youths) but about drug addicted and sexually abused youths," he explained. "Youth policy speaks about drug addicted youths and sexually abused youths as a focused group. There are provisions in the central government sponsored Social Justice Scheme for such youths which can be implemented in Goa.”

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • New Honey Maid Ad Features Gay Dads

      Honey Maid is no stranger to showing their support for equality. The graham cracker maker celebrated its pride this past year with a graham-tastic equality graphic and previously featured a "wholesome" gay couple in an ad that showcased a diverse group of families. Now, Honey Maid is back with another ad featuring a gay couple and their child, just one of many "wholesome modern day families" they draw attention to. Said Honey Maid on the YouTube posting, "no matter how things change, what makes us wholesome never will."

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • Northern Ireland Couple Challenges Ban On Same-Sex Marriage

      A gay couple is to present a legal challenge to the ban on same-sex marriage in Northern Ireland, reports Pink News.

      Northern Ireland is now the only part of the United Kingdom that does not allow same-sex marriage.

      The couple behind the legal challenge married in England but live in Northern Ireland. It is alleged that failure to recognise the marriage infringes on their rights.

      The couple has been granted an anonymity order and is backed by gay rights activist group the Rainbow Project.

      Rainbow Project director John O’Doherty said:

      “While same-sex marriage legislation in Westminster had many positive aspects, we believe that its provision forbidding the recognition of lawful same-sex marriages in Northern Ireland is irrational, contrary to principles of British constitutional law and incompatible with the European Convention on Human Rights.

      “We are resolute in our assertion that no-one can be married in one part of the United Kingdom and then not married in another.

      “Once a couple is lawfully married in the UK, we contend that their relationship cannot be reclassified as a civil partnership without their consent which is exactly what the law currently does.

      “The legislation says to lawfully married people that they are no longer married. This is unconscionable and cannot be permitted to continue."

      The province’s governing Democratic Unionist Party remains strongly opposed to gay rights and has blocked a series of attempts to bring in gay marriage.

      Watch a report on the Northern Ireland Assembly's latest rejection of same-sex marriage last April, AFTER THE JUMP…

      The first same-sex marriages took place in Scotland at the end of last month.

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • Kentucky Judge Grants State's First Same Sex Divorce

      Though Kentucky has yet to legalize same-sex marriage, or even deign to recognize gay unions performed out-of-state, a Jefferson County Family Court judge struck a blow for marriage equality by granting the first legal same-sex divorce in the state. Judge Joseph O'Reilly divorced Alysha Romero and Rebecca Sue Romero, a lesbian couple who were first married in Massachusetts in 2009, citing Kentucky law that requires judges to “liberally” construe the legal proceedings surrounding divorce so as to encourage “amicable settlements” between people looking to split.

      "The Constitution of Kentucky prohibits the exercise of absolute and arbitrary power over [its peoples’] lives,” O'Reilly said. "Even if that exercise is approved of by the largest majority."

      Aysha Romero’s lawyer, Louis Waterman, argued that despite Kentucky’s refusal to acknowledge out-of-state gay marriages, a decision to not grant the Romeros a divorce would be tantamount to the state recognizing them as being married.

      O’Reilly first made his ruling in late December of last year, but held off making it public until the new year, after his retirement. O’Reilly is not seeking re-election, and because the window for appeals has since passed his ruling has become precedent in Jefferson county, though it can’t be used in other Kentucky cases.

      "I am just thrilled with Judge O'Reilly's courage,” said Waterman. “I think he had a lot of chutzpah to do what he did."

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • Chris Hemsworth Dancing in a Wet, See-Through Shirt Will Make Your Humpday




      Jimmy Fallon and Chris Hemsworth had a 'water war' on The Tonight Show last night, and fortunately for us, the Thor actor was on the losing side.

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • Matthew Dempsey Demystifies The Za Za Zoo And Why We Love Who We Do

      Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey is back with a new four part video series on relationships, the first installation of which focuses on the "nuts and bolts" of the science of attraction. Why exactly are we more attracted to some people and not others? What makes us convinced that so-and-so is our soul-mate? Is it magic? Though the experience of meeting and connecting with someone you feel you're destined to be with may cast a strong and intoxicating spell, psychology more than magic seems to dictate why we love who we do. Dempsey explains:

      The reason [for our attraction] is that [that] person is reflecting something back to us. They represent a composite of a number of caregivers in our lives…It's not really a soul-mate situation. In an instant our subconscious is clocking a variety of things about them like their hand movements, their eye contact, the way they breathe, how frequently they blink, their body posture, so many things all at once that says to us, "we know this person." We know this person. There's something very comfortable and familiar about who they are and they also gives us an opportunity to finally be heard and seen and loved in a way that we felt like we didn't have when we were younger so we can finally get our needs met and we can finally heal.

      Of course, meeting who we perceive as being "the one" is never the end of the journey. Dempsey explains the particular pitfalls that can await gay men in both engaging in relationships and in feeling like we should abstain from them:

      As gay men because we have that more severe wounding that can happen for us we're then going to be that much more tender, we're going to have a hyper sensitivity to all kinds of things and interactions with our partners and it can just feel like so much more of a risk for us to love. This is an opportunity for us to be able heal for sure but the way in which we go about doing it now being aware of why we're drawn to the person that we are is going to be different.

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
    • Their Husbands Aren't 'Gay,' So Let's Stop Acting Like They Are

      The Interplay is a special biweekly series exploring the intersections of sex, pop culture, and current events.

      BY CHARLES PULLIAM-MOORE

      Last Sunday TLC invited us into the homes and lives of married Mormon men who, despite being in committed relationships with women, still felt sexual desires for other men. Taken at face value “My Husband’s Not Gay” is exactly the kind of contemporary sideshow attraction that TLC specializes in. As casual viewers we’re meant to poke fun at the documentary’s subjects and to decry TLC’s morally questionable exploitation of them. Having watched the show, however, there’s a much more interesting story being told about the complexities of modern relationships and broader cultural difference.

      The joke built into the special is eye-rollingly simple, if a bit heartbreaking: here’s a group of men living in denial about who they really are; ain’t that funny? If we accept the show’s central premise as being true, then sure, there’s potential for some dark humor at the couples’ expense. When you really stop and think about it, though, there’s a degree of truth to the show’s title. These men aren’t gay, at least not socially.

      Not a day goes by that someone somewhere makes the valid, though cliched, point that there is no real “X-community.” The idea is that queer people come from too diverse a set of backgrounds to simply lump together. In terms of political correctness, that’s all true.

      But in our day-to-day interactions we all participate in various activities that compose a larger LGBTQ or queer culture. You there, sir or madam who’s reading this post? Congratulations; you’re creating queer culture. Everything from the music that we listen to to the legal happenings we follow is a part of of a group subculture that we, as non-straight people, are a part of.

      It’s important to point out, though, that the LGBTQ community is about more than not being heteronormatively straight. Similarly, the gay community, culture, and identity cannot be reduced to gay men not wanting to have sex with women. Gays and lesbians who choose to remain celibate in accordance with Catholic beliefs, for example, shouldn’t be denied right to their identities simply because they choose not to have sex with others of the same sex. The husbands of “My Husband’s Not Gay” are up front about their urges, but they’re also fundamentally removed from the gay culture and community in a way that’s worth thinking about.

      These families’ lives are built around the teachings of the Mormon Church that require certain behaviors that the typical gay man would find untenable. Unlike many popular examples of cultures that forbid homosexuality, the families here deal with the elephant in the room in an open way that comes across as both endearing and, for lack of a better term, weird.

      These men are able to openly discuss their thoughts and desires with their wives and each other. If we think about these men as self-identified homosexuals, rather than gay men, who have chosen to abstain for religious reasons, then there’s a novelty to seeing them discuss their thoughts frankly.  As off putting as the the documentary’s premise may be to you or I, it isn’t fair to write off their entire way of living simply because we can’t imagine ourselves in their situations.

      To be clear, there are many things about “My Husband’s Not Gay” that are problematic and made all the worse by TLC’s decision not to contextualize some of its content. Though none of the Mormon characters explicitly endorsed reparative therapy during the course of the first episode, three have been directly linked to the practice in their personal lives. Other plot elements such as the sliding danger scale and the implicit pathologization of same-sex attraction also deserve a more appropriate counterbalance that TLC could have easily provided.

      That all being said, “My Husband’s Not Gay” profiles a group of families united in their faith that have somehow managed to carve out a curious, but valid cultural niche for themselves. Though we may not agree with their beliefs, the documentary is an opportunity for us to learn across our differences and perhaps come to understand that certain similarities don’t always equal sameness.

      posted in Gay News
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      andymyn
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