Hey everyone,

I've got a problem and I'm not entirely sure what to do with it or how to proceed with things.

I'm madly in love with Maarten, a guy who's got a boyfriend; Nick. I used to see him every month at a monthly party we both happened to visit. At first I wasn't sure he was gay and since I was only just out myself I tried to find out without asking him by Googling him and such. After talking to him briefly a couple of times at the monthly party, through his facebook page I found out he liked Glee and I decided to risk it and send him a mail asking him out for drinks. I got no reply. Next time I saw him at the monthly party I asked him if he'd gotten my mail. He said he did but that he had just got a boyfriend and that he wasn't sure how to reply. It sucked but I thought that as usually I'd just be able to move on and try to find someone else. However, I couldn't. Maarten was just on my mind almost all the time (and still is). I've befriended him a little since and I want to talk to him about it but I'm not sure. I've never been this crazy about anyone ever before. During the past few months I've thought of him at least once a day with the exeption of maybe a day or 7. When I'm around him I constantly have the urge to hug him. When his boyfriend was on vacation we met a couple of times (not alone or something mind you) to do fun stuff together (sporting, going out etc) and the day his boyfriend came home and I knew they'd see each other again I felt depressed all day. Didn't feel like doing anything. Just sat at home all day sleeping or doing very little on the couch.

I made a date the other day in which we'd be alone so I could talk about this but he cancelled the day before because he'd forgotten he already had an appointment to eat with his boyfriend. Again, I felt depressed all day and sat at home doing nothing. I know its not healthy to be so affected by everything he does, but like I said, I've never ever felt anything like this before. Not this powerful. And of course I'm also constantly wondering if I had acted sooner, would I have had a chance?

Now I don't know what to do. Its tearing my apart. I love him so much, and perhaps if I just tell him I'll feel better or if I have some answers I'll feel better, however, if I tell him whatever we have for a friendship could be ruined. Of course though I'd like for him to leave his boyfriend, I highly doubt he would if I tell him. Now I have one pair of friends telling me I shouldn't tell him anything as things 'll just get weird and it'll ruin the friendship, while on the other hand as things are now they're driving me nuts and my life I slowly starting to revolve around him without him even being in my life that much. Its bizare.

I could really use some opinions and advice here. I look forward to your reactions.