One-Sentence Dark Groaners
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I was raised by my parents as an only child, which explains all the bitterness in my sister.
A new study found that each year, humans eat more bananas than monkeys, which I found odd, as I eat a lot of monkeys.
My partner was mad that I have absolutely no sense of direction, so one day I just packed up my stuff and right.
My grandfather didn't see that well, which explains why he fell into it.
After my dog died I went to a grief counselor for a month, and that man was so good at his job that when he died a week later, I didn't care.
I took my ex-boyfriend out yesterday, which made me realize how much I love being a sniper.
My therapist told me that "time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him and locked him a closet for a week, and found out he was wrong.
I was at a playground this morning, and when the mother next to me smiled and asked "Which one is yours?", I explained, "I'm still choosing."
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My grandfather didn't see that well, which explains why he fell into it.
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather…not screaming in horror like the people riding in his car.
Most accidents happen in the home...so for heaven's sake, don't drive your car in the house.
My mechanic said I should use more lubrication, so I asked him to bend over the car so we could try it out.
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Those are fine additions, eobox. On my list, I usually put my favorite at the end – the one that's the most twisted, lol... :afr:
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Those are fine additions, eobox. On my list, I usually put my favorite at the end – the one that's the most twisted, lol... :afr:
I trust I followed your rule.
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You're horrible.
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You have to give President Trump credit . . . because he has no cash.
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Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
Today I found my first grey pubic hair. I got really upset, but not as much as the other people in the elevator.
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's interesting how many people bring a knife on a date.
My friend surprised me on my birthday with a book called "Road kill recipes". I did find some roadkill the other day, so I tried a recipe, and it was delicious. I'm not sure what to do with the bicycle though.
I took away my ex's wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back to me?
My ex had an accident. I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for him. Finally he’ll experience what rejection is really like.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital for a gunshot wound, and I got my hunting license revoked.
I've been missing my ex a lot. I really should check the accuracy of the laser sight.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand disinfectant. The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand disinfectant anymore.
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@kamyk Additional darkness, additional groaning from transgressive humor!
What else would I need in my time zone, where it's drink o'clock...
