Do Unto Others, Frequently
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It's aggravating when you're late for work, and hit one of those speed bumps at the local school crossing…
...but even more troubling when you recall the school removed them a few months back.
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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words:
"Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
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Two teens were beating up an old woman in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
She didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
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A father and his young son walked along a beach at night.
The child looked at the heavens and asked, "Daddy, how do stars die?"
The father, focused on his cell phone, pondered a moment.
"Usually an overdose."
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An older surgeon asked a new doctor why he cheated on his wife with a cheap prostitute.
The doctor replied, "Well, when I first met that sweet little tramp, she was lying in front of me, naked. What else was I supposed to do?"
The old surgeon sputtered, “Perform the fucking autopsy!”