Unrequited desire.

[beercan]

Today is the birthday of a friend of mine, Bert (not real name)  and we decided the go to his favorite bar for a drink.
I have every intention to get him to the point of no return as a ritual for all birthday "boys".
we ordered his favorite drink, an after a while, 2 gorgeous bears walts into the bar and sat near our table.
They ordered house beer from the bartender (I consider him a very cute cub),and proceeded to chat amongst themselves.
From then on all I could think of was them and my desire started to build.
Good thing we had the Bert drink a good portion of tequila earlier on so I had some pretty good opportunities to admire the 2 bears with the corners of my then partially drunk eyes… sigh.
There was this 1 time where 1 of the bears was alone and I manage to catch his brief attention, as he smiled at me, I nearly melted on my seat.
I ended up lifting my glass to  drink and smiled back.
Sigh I wish I wasn't here because of my friend, but I guess I wouldn't have been able to feast on the glory of the 2 gorgeous bears if not for him.

I only wish 1 of them had come to our table to strike up a conversation to me... but it's wishful thinking and I get the feeling the group I'm with is pretty homophobic. Not to mention the other birthday dude in the bar was pretty vocal with said remarks. On top of that, the conversation I overhear from their table told me that their native language isn't english, and although They most likely are fluent in english, I'm concerned in the language barrier. Not to mention that I have no intention to out myself to this group of friends. Plus they could be straight and I'd have a messy situation on my hands if I made a move.

As I relate this event, I lement. And wish that I could go overseas 1 time to at least fulfill my constant and unyielding desire to be who I am, not living the life shackled by public opinion. (Nation laws dictate that homosexuals engaging in sexual practices could be procecuted, if compelled to act upon said law.)

(Sincere apologies. I'm currently quite deep in my glass and needed to rant my frustrations at the unrequited desire)

on the upside, bert is pretty much down and out for the count so it's not a total loss