Where do i go?
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Hello,
I'm looking for a little advice. A couple of years ago I had a breakdown just before my 21st birthday. I'd been suffering from Schizophrenia and Depression but it went undiagnosed till I tried to take my own life. I was in hospital for ages and ever since I've struggled to re-adjust to life.
I eventually recovered and went back to university to finish the degree I was studying (drama) and graduated. I moved back home to London with my parents. But homelife has become so hard-my parents will not accept the fact I'm gay. It's like constantly walking on eggshells-my family are Jewish and being gay is of course forbidden. All they ever do is argue anyway. I've lost most of my friends now as the group i was in split into two and I was left in the middle and had to choose between them. And I can't get a job because I get these constant panic attacks. My last job was in Ralph Lauren 9 months ago-I had a panic attack on the shop floor and that led to another breakdown. I developed an eating disorder and have slowly become a recluse.
The long and short of it is I can't stay here. But where can I go? Even if it's just for a few months, I have to get away. Everytime I step outside here I face a panic attack, but if I stay indoors I have to face my family's constant arguing. I've escaped a few times on my own-to Cornwall, the Lake District etc. and sadly it's the happiest I've ever been. I find it so hard to communicate with people now. I can hardly string a sentence together anymore.
Does anyone have any ideas of where to go? I need to find some peace. I've lost my faith, and I've lost the love of life I once had. I'd love to go abroad-somewhere like France, Italy, USA. I have a little bit of money but it won't last me long.
I would love to go on some sort spiritual journey. Anything really. Where have all the good people gone?
Thanks x
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Your profile won't let me send you a PM. Message me, please. I have something I would like to discuss with you. Cheers!
PS- I'm going on vacation for 4 days starting tomorrow so if you send a message and you don't hear back from me immediately, don't think I'm ignoring you or anything!
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Thanks for your wall post. I've just sent you a PM, hope it works.
Ta
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Talk to your GP and get a referral to see a specialist for your problems.
You should also talk to the local council and tell them your situation, as they might be able to help with a council flat or something.
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Thank-you Raphjd.
I know I should really seek professional help again. It's just seeing a specialist takes so long-I waited 3 months to see a Physchiatrist once despite the fact I was cutting myself and feeling suicidal at the time.
I will get in touch with the local council, I didn't think of that.
Cheers for your advice.
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Regardless of how long it may take to see a specialist, you need to get the ball rolling.
The sooner you start, the sooner you can start getting the help {professional and benefits} that you need.
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I'm always sad when I read posts like this one.
I'm very unhappy for you and hope things can get better from now on.
I don't know what to write but I hope my few words can help you to find relax and solace:
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start from the base: if your parents can not accept your being gay is better if you choose to life your life without ask them for any kind of permission or judgment. I have been lucky to understand that for me and no I can say I'm not fine but I'm doing well;
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which kind of passions, or which kind of work do you think you can do right now? Do you prefere to work with people, or just all by yourself? I work in a hotel, and the night during my night shift I'm all alone. Maybe, that could be a good idea for you? I don't know but try to think something you'd like to do.
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I'm in Rome, and if you want to visit these places, enjoying walking in the autumn roman life, I'd like to listen to you, telling me what's wrong. Rome is not so crowded as London, or so huge as London, but we have good food and lot of things to see. And if you want to find a cheaper place where you can stay just ask and we can find some affordable room for rent.
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Remember: you are not alone! Everybody in his life pass through dire times but the best we can do is keep going on and find for a help.
I hope to read from you sooner or later and in the meanwhile I'm sending you a huge hug, wisheing all the best from Rome.
Kisses, Sandro :hug:
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Wow, Sandro, what a great post! I think you sound like a super nice guy. I'd like to visit Rome, hahaha…
For me, you hit on two important points: first, our families are very important to us, because they are the first environment we are placed in, but if it's not a healthy environment (for whatever reason) sometimes you just have to get out of it, at least for awhile. When I was much younger, my home life was so bad that I had to move out and stay with a friend's family. It was very difficult, but I had to take care of myself.
The second point is that we are not alone, and it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Even from strangers. We're all connected, and by helping each other we are helping ourselves. It's the circle of life, Simba!
Anyway---- hope everyone is doing well! Cheers.
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Wow, Sandro, what a great post! I think you sound like a super nice guy. I'd like to visit Rome, hahaha…
You're welcome anytime :hug2:
I think that we are all common people: just a cut and we all bleed!
But we can make a difference, every single time, in every single move we take.
Jjacksons, please let us know how you doing and don't hesitate to contact us again.
Hugs, Sandro :hug2:
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gThank-you so much Sandro.
I don't know what to say really in reply-I have been quite overwhelmed with people's responses.
I'm not used to talking about myself. It's usually me who people come to for advice. Even when I was in hospital after my breakdown I just couldn't open up. When I had Schizophrenia, I had a voice in my head that tormented me if I tried to talk to anyone honestly about my feelings. That is gone now but it is still immensely hard to communicate with anyone about how I really feel.
I agree with what you say about my parents. I feel guilty but I know I musn't. I am accepting slowly that they will never accept my way of life. And that is a shame, but there's just no changing some people's views.
My passion in life is helping other people. But I need to help myself before I think I can begin to do that. I have so many dreams and goals but perhaps it is time to accept they will not happen. Right now I would prefer to work by myself. I like the idea of working the night shift in a hotel. I'm happy to do anything really. I've looked into being a cleaner recently. I just need to break my fear and go for a job.
I love Rome. I've been to Italy many times-Napoli, Sorrento, Ischia, Florence, Lake Garda but Rome is one of my favourite destinations. It's so kind of you to offer to help me find a room. How much is a typical room to rent in Rome? I will certainly think about it.
Thanks for taking the time to write to me. It is so true when you say that we are all common people: just a cut and we all bleed. I just wish everyone could think like that. Can you imagine what a place the world would be if they all did?
Thanks again Sandro!
xAnd thank-you Michael-I need to keep those words somewhere I can read them often-"it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help." Perhaps it is my culture, but I've always been told quite the opposite. But really the kindness of strangers can be life-changing.
How was Hong Kong?
I know I keep saying it but thank-you. Just to know that there are people out there who do care helps me more than you'll ever know.
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I have so many dreams and goals but perhaps it is time to accept they will not happen.
I love Rome. I've been to Italy many times-Napoli, Sorrento, Ischia, Florence, Lake Garda but Rome is one of my favourite destinations. It's so kind of you to offer to help me find a room. How much is a typical room to rent in Rome? I will certainly think about it.
In life never say never: things can change in a moment, and you'll never knows
In Rome you can find rooms for rent in an easy way, and the price depends in the area you want to live and the things (markets, pubs, disco's, ecc.) you can find nearby.
I don't know if you can receive private message but I'm gonna try to send the name of a site where you can log in and find apartments or rooms during your staying, in all around the world.
Just take a look, and in case let me know if ever you will come in Rome. I live in a hotel, and surely I can give you some tips about my city
Best wishes, and take care of you :hug2:
Sandro
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Yes it is true, never say never. Need to be more positive!
I'd really appreciate you sending me the link to that website. It would come in really handy.
And I will certainly let you know if and when I come to Rome. I miss Italy, haven't been there for a few years now. Think I might need to change that pretty soon!
Thanks again Sandro for all your advice and support
Hope all is good with you.
x
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Yes it is true, never say never. Need to be more positive!
I'd really appreciate you sending me the link to that website. It would come in really handy.
And I will certainly let you know if and when I come to Rome. I miss Italy, haven't been there for a few years now. Think I might need to change that pretty soon!
Thanks again Sandro for all your advice and support
Hope all is good with you.
x
Hope to read good news from you soon
Ciao, Sandro
