Fake News of the Week (May 4, 2017)
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"House Democrat Leader Nancy Pelosi Gets into a Catfight with Maxine Waters live on C-SPAN Over Congressional Safe Spaces"
Shortly after passing a measure to provide safe spaces in Congress for the African-American, Latino and LGBTQA caucuses–-so that they can meet and pass resolutions without having to be around their white Democratic colleagues for however long they choose---Democrat Leader Nancy Pelosi approached and assaulted Democratic Congresswoman Maxine Waters. Never backing down from a challenge, the loud-mouthed and often over-the-top Waters removed her James Brown wig and hoop earrings and proceeded to assault Pelosi in retaliation. Republicans watched in joy as the two Democrats fought over the pointless issue, which was raised by Congressman Jim Clyburn after he felt that his feelings were hurt by white Democrats in the House (he offered no valid reason for this). Both Congresswomen are expected to be fine with only a few facial abrasions; however, Waters is threatening to sue Pelosi over damages to her wig.
"This wig was a gift," she exclaimed while softly stroking the wig as if it were a pet in the African-American Congressional safe space. "She had no right touching my wig. I took it off to fight her and she pulled a petty move by stepping on it!"
"Screw her wig," said Pelosi while standing outside of one of the designated safe spaces. "She has to come out of that safe space eventually. The moment she does, I'm knocking the wrinkles off her face!"
"You have wrinkles, too, you old hag," Waters shouted from inside the safe space.
Since Democrats are currently on a crusade against the police, no charges have been filed.
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GOSH
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