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    Promiscuous person "stuck" in a relationship

    Sex & Relationships
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    • Z
      zvonac last edited by

      Hi, I have a problem and I don't know who to talk to.
      I am currently in a committed loving relationship with a wonderful sexy guy whom I love very much.
      Before meeting him I was quite promiscuous (but playing it safe, and STD free) and I really enjoyed my sexual lifestyle. I enjoyed hooking up with different guys and it was a big part of my life and personality.
      I fell in love with one of my hookups and we started a serious monogamous relationship. Our sex life is amazing, he's the best sex I've ever had, but I feel "trapped" (for the lack of a better word) because I miss my sexual past and I feel like I haven't fulfilled all my wild sexual fantasies. I am almost addicted to porn because it allows me to fantasize without acting out on the fantasies. I would never cheat on my bf and talking about this is impossible because it would hurt his feelings. I just can't keep my sexual fantasies under control and it's all I think about 24/7.
      Not sure what kind of support or help I am asking for here, but I had nowhehere else to turn to  :cheesy2:

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      • V
        victorm13 last edited by

        Well, i understand you, friend. I was stuck on a relationship too, but, in the otherside, i hate sex. lol. I feel pleasure on other things on a relationship. But, the most important thing in any relationship is being happy. You know? Maybe you could talk to him, and explaim you would like to test, and realize fantasys and stufs. Maybe he´ll like it and perform with you. Maybe not.

        I believe, a relationship is one of the most import thing in life, not forever (lets be honests lol), but it helps you to learn more than ´just sex´, and learn to find pleasure on others places then just the penis, anus, mouth, etc.

        I say to myself im specialized on make a man cum with my hand and tongue. Even without touching the place. LoL.

        I believe you should talk to him. Before you make any drastical decision. But, as i said, only if you are happy now. If you are… Let me say... Discouraged in every possible way to be just with one person... So... This conversation is already pointless.

        As usual, sorry my bad english.
        Kudos. []

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        • H
          harryme last edited by

          Love will take its course eventually because the one on one lifestyle can get mundane. This is why straight people start a family.

          1. If you love him that much and can't see yourself living without him, why not take the next step. Figure out how to start a family with him. Think about naming your kid. Choose a name for your kid and see if that excites you. If it does, then work towards that.

          2. Plan a future with him. See if you want to buy real estate for a vacation getaway.

          3. Have a talk with him. If you're feeling down or depress or "wanting more" I'm sure he could sense it and maybe he's feeling the same way.

          4. Talk about an open relationship, last resort.

          5. Break up, you're a sex addict and there's no stopping you. 😛

          @zvonac:

          Hi, I have a problem and I don't know who to talk to.
          I am currently in a committed loving relationship with a wonderful sexy guy whom I love very much.
          Before meeting him I was quite promiscuous (but playing it safe, and STD free) and I really enjoyed my sexual lifestyle. I enjoyed hooking up with different guys and it was a big part of my life and personality.
          I fell in love with one of my hookups and we started a serious monogamous relationship. Our sex life is amazing, he's the best sex I've ever had, but I feel "trapped" (for the lack of a better word) because I miss my sexual past and I feel like I haven't fulfilled all my wild sexual fantasies. I am almost addicted to porn because it allows me to fantasize without acting out on the fantasies. I would never cheat on my bf and talking about this is impossible because it would hurt his feelings. I just can't keep my sexual fantasies under control and it's all I think about 24/7.
          Not sure what kind of support or help I am asking for here, but I had nowhehere else to turn to  :cheesy2:

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • J
            jb420 last edited by

            Talk to your partner. let him know what you're feeling and maybe you can work something out like opening up your relationship. if that's not possible, it may be time to end things.

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            • T
              TheNewt last edited by

              Nobody is "stuck" in a relationship, they choose to stay in a relationship that does not work out for them.

              If you feel "Stuck" in a relationship, and are/were promiscuous and feel "stuck" then end the relationship instead of cheating.

              Keep in mind that your partner might not want an open relationship, and it's not right to force him into one if he does not want this.

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              • T
                timtims last edited by

                Stuck is such a bad word. Why not say that you just want to explore more? Approach him with that phrase. Tell him you want to have some fun and wonder if he'll like to do it with you. You're a couple, you're a unit and both of you are going to be having fun with a guy. That's a lot easier to swallow when you put it like that.

                All you'll have to do is talk to him and see how things go. You will probably have to choose between sex and a partner, though. Weigh the odds. Remember that sex is a very important and unfortunately overlooked part of any relationship. Try and imagine if you'll be able to put up with the stuck feeling for a number of years, can you?

                Just don't cheat on him, there's no excusing that. Always be honest.

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                • M
                  marvintorren last edited by

                  @TheNewt:

                  Nobody is "stuck" in a relationship, they choose to stay in a relationship that does not work out for them.

                  If you feel "Stuck" in a relationship, and are/were promiscuous and feel "stuck" then end the relationship instead of cheating.

                  Keep in mind that your partner might not want an open relationship, and it's not right to force him into one if he does not want this.

                  This times 1,000!!!!!

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                  • Z
                    zvonac last edited by

                    Hi guys,
                    thanks for all your answers. Just wanted to make it clear that I have no intention on cheating on the boyfriend.
                    But I am really torn between my single lifestyle and the loving relationship.  😞

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                    • B
                      brianboru72 last edited by

                      A lot has been said- and I'll just add my own to those who've told you not to be tempted to cheat, and to those who've said that you should open up and talk to him about your feelings.
                      This is clearly a big deal for you, and while it's nice to open up to a safe space like this anonymous forum, in the end, if you really care about your partner you need to make him aware of how you feel. It's something you both have to face together if you really value your relationship= and it sounds like you do.
                      In the end, worst case is he doesn't want you sleeping around, and you have to respect that. You've got to decide if you are happy with the more stable, but possibly less exciting life of being in a monogamous relationship, or give it up to go back to your fun, exciting, but less stable past lifestyle.
                      Good luck, it sounds like you've got a good thing going though, and personally I'd fight to keep it.

                      Tell someone you love them today, because life is short.
                      But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.

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                      • wadd 0
                        wadd 0 last edited by

                        I was married for 15 years, and I cheated a lot, I think he pretended not to notice, he doesn't like sex. I was the one who broke up because I was in love with him, but I was not satisfied sexually. My guess is you'll eventually cheat or break up, there's no right or wrong answer, since it's your life and nobody's else. Now, I look for relationships where I can satisfy my sexual needs and that I don't have to cheat, not an easy task.  😕

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