How should I handle homophobic co-workers ?
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I posted this here because they are friends with me but they don't know I am gay… And they are ignorant about gay issues. What should I do?
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Ignorant and homophobic are different mate,
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Ignorant and homophobic are different mate,
Agree, being ignorant about gay issues doesn't mean your co-workers are homophobic….. Can you be more specific on your worker's homophobia ???
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First off, do you need to tell them?
Sometimes we want the people around us to accept us, when they already do/
However, if you want to be open about your sexuality, though I don't know why people have to know, then you need to tell them and then deal with the reactions.
Some will accept, some won't. Ignore those that don't and embrace the others. -
**_After I look in your profile and saw your flag, now I can understand your predicament, gay and it's issues are mostly taboo in your country so you cannot openly discussed it with your co-workers
Try little by little to know their views (at least to co-worker(s) you are really close and you think trustworthy) on gay issues without giving away yourself being gay, during breaktime perhaps….._**
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Why do you care? Why would you even need to discuss your sexuality with co-workers?
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First off, do you need to tell them?
Sometimes we want the people around us to accept us, when they already do/
However, if you want to be open about your sexuality, though I don't know why people have to know, then you need to tell them and then deal with the reactions.
Some will accept, some won't. Ignore those that don't and embrace the others.Why do you care? Why would you even need to discuss your sexuality with co-workers?
Think about it for a second. Your co-workers talk about their wives and girlfriends. They talk about what actresses they think are hot. Their sexuality is an intregal part of who they are. Why should I censor myself? To keep myself out of prison, okay that's a good reason. But because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable? Fuck em.
The majority of times I've "come out" has been by answering questions.
Them: You think Beyonce is hot?
Me: Nah
Them: So who do you think is hot?
Me: Russell Tovey. Love his ears. Just wanna grab him by those freaking ears."
Them: Silence -
Don't bother about them. Be yourself. I can understand you because I'm from the same country. If you know, your closest friends know then there's hardly a need for your co-workers to know.
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Just bring your boy friend to the next gathering, whether your circle of friends know him or not. Then introduce him and business as usual. You can do whatever with him at the table, talk whatever normal talk you would with your friends. Be natural and don't make a big deal about it. Then the next time you have gatherings, bring him along again. Then the third time, don't bring him. If people ask about him, you are fine. If they don't, you'll know who your true friends are.
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I feel very ignorant: I looked for you flag on wikipedia xD
Having said that …
You should just ignore people who do not understand. -
Nobody has to know your sexual preference.
It's none of their business.If somebody asks you if beynce is hot. Just answer she's alright just not my type.
Be yourself -
I must say something. homophobic is just a very small aspect of life, only on the sex part. on the other aspect of our life is totally same with the heterosexuality. so do you want to have sex with your co-workers?if not just act as a co-worker do. I find we pay too too much attention on the sex apart especially on the daily life. gay is also a normal human, also have normal life
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Stop worrying about what others say and think unless they ask you for your opinion. You're there to earn a paycheck. If you're too afraid to even politely disagree with their ignorant ideas and alleged homophobia (even without necessarily coming out to them), I don't think your relationship with them could really be considered a friendship. Doesn't mean you can't still be polite and professional at your job, though. The only thing worse than dumb co-workers who can't keep dumb opinions to themselves are the busy-bodies who look for any excuse to stir the pot or get offended or taddle to superiors about inconsequential bullshit like "ignorance of LGBT issues".
I used to work as a school custodian with a bunch of older black, very socially Conservative Christians. Many of them also worked as church custodial staff. One was even a pastor. Anyway, a couple of them basically never seemed to get tired of finding reasons to complain about gay people (makes you wonder). I thought the stuff they said was ignorant, and occasionally even a little bit annoying (more for of the frequency of it than anything). But it never stopped me from doing my job, remaining professional or being able to make small talk with them. It wasn't my job to "enlighten" them with my own socially liberal, atheistic, PoMo perspective. More importantly, I'm not so delicate that I can't function without constant reassurance that everyone at work will love and accept and agree with me at all times. And I say that as one of the most anxious, needy and overly-sensitive people on earth.
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Keep your relationship as work-only. You don't have to discuss your sexuality with them.
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While I agree it's no one's business what your sexual orientation is, you also shouldn't have to hide. Especially around people stupid enough to make ignorant/homophobic statements. Honestly, I'm not too familiar with your culture, but I can tell you that if these people have a prolem with your sexual preference, that should be their problem alone and not yours whatsoever.
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If it's easiest to keep quiet and it's not too much of a hassle, do it.
