Share an Experience You've Had and the Lesson(s) Learned..
-
A few months ago I met a guy at a sex party. Instead of having sex, we mostly talked and kinda fooled around for a few hours. I really liked this guy. At the end of the party he asked for my number and I gave it to him. My instinct said "don't" (probably because of where we were) but I did anyway. He contacted me immediately afterwards and said he liked our interaction and would like to have a kinda sexual/social relationship. I perceived that as a friends with benefits type deal and thought I'd be open to it. Everyday for over 2 months he would contact me which was nice. But, whenever he would ask to come over, he'd cancel right before he was supposed to come over. This happened like 6 or 7 times. He never came over. It was disappointing and confusing. He continued to ask to come over too.
This was a minor experience, but I learned 3 major lessons. The first being to listen and follow my instincts. The next and more impactful was understanding why I was disappointed. I was disappointed because I created a "fantasy" version of him in my head and was hurt when he didn't live up to it. In my fantasy, when he said he was coming over.. he would actually come over LOL. His ACTIONS showed me he wouldn't follow through and I could either accept or move on. Lastly, I wasn't clear (honest) with myself on what I wanted. I really wanted someone to date, not a friend with benefits. Secretly, I hoped we would end up dating (again my fantasy version of him). Nothing he did or said showed interest in "dating."
What's some things you guys have learned? Also feel free to comment too.