What do you advise him
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Thisisme29
Hi all,
I would like to start experimenting anal play on myself but don't know anything about that.
I was talking about anal sex with a male friend and women at a bar the other night, and most approaches and "techniques" seem quite similar, no matter the gender.
I know this will sound silly, but I've never really thought about that before. That night, we discussed anal penetration for women, and men. How they started with their fingers, and then a cock, the toys and what they bring, etc.
I am 28yo, quite curious, but have never had anal sex, or penetrated anyone. I would like to explore the prostate stimulation "thing". I've heard many things about this and it seems to procure a lot of pleasure, which I feel ready to start experiencing.
But, I'm too afraid to make a mistake or hurt myself. I'd like to start easy, using just my fingers.
What do you recon I could do, explore, and eventually what toy I could buy to do more?
I could do with some genuine advices now, thank you very much in advance…
Tom
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My suggestion would be to start with fingering yourself. Make sure to use lots of lube as the initial friction of the finger may cause some initial discomfort. Before you begin though, it is important to make sure that your finger nails are very short. I would also recommend the use of a non-latex glove (surgical glove) for a few reasons. One of the biggest reasons is that finger nails (especially when they're longer) can cause a cutting sensation when they brush against your insides the wrong way. If they have an end or a corner that is not completely smoothed out or has a little bit of a point to it, this can even cause scratching on the lining of your insides, especially if you have never inserted anything in there before). The other big reason is because between the under sides of your finger nails as well as any small cuts or nicks you may have in your hands, bacteria (and if you're not clean back there, potentially E Coli) can linger can get under there and either fester or possibly lead to infection. In both cases, a glove will prevent this from happening, similar to the way that a condom prevents the spread of STD's.
When you do start, I would recommend using a lot of lube. If you want to keep your lube supply more discreet for some reason, I would recommend Crisco. It is one of the top choices among the fisting community, but certainly is not the only option available. Start out with one finger and start to get a feel what feels pleasurable and where the spots are that you get a rise from. As you find them and get comfortable going with one finger, start adding more, one finger at a time. As an experienced fister, I can tell you that one of the keys to working it in is to turn your hand as you do it. For some people, going in like a cork screw is best, but others seem to respond better to pushing it in, holding it at a certain distance, then turning the hand/finger slowly. You may also find that just wiggling your finger a little and/or bending it slightly after it is in will help to reach some of your sensitive spots. This can also be helpful at relaxing yourself to allow your muscles to "open up" as it were.
When you get comfortable with 2 or 3 fingers, you may want to try upgrading to a small dildo or other such toy. Depending on how you respond to the fingers, I would recommend starting with something that is not too thick. Remember… Initially, the goal you're going to want to reach is to be able to fit a penis in there, so I would recommend looking for a toy that is about as thick around as an average penis, without being too small. I would also recommend that you be very careful if the length that you can insert is more than about 5 - 6", as that generally seems to be the point where your insides begin to bend inside of you. Depending on your body, this is the point where you will either feel a little bit of discomfort or even a mild pain deep within, OR, in my case, is the point where all of the sudden it starts to feel real good. Before you begin with the dildo though, I would strongly recommend working some lube up inside there with your fingers for two reasons. The first is that it will help your muscles relax to be able to be more accommodating for the dildo/toy, and the other is because the added friction inside of you can cause a sharp pain (almost like the feel of cutting yourself) or even cause small tears in your linings to occur, especially if you are a cherry pop virgin.
With all of this being said, remember to take it slowly at first and work yourself up gradually as you are comfortable with it. You may experience points where the feeling may get a little too intense. If this happens, your best bet the first few times is to ease back just a touch to just before that feeling becomes overwhelming, relax, then slowly experiment with turning or wiggling your finger to find where your pleasurable spots are that will help you relax and open up. After all, you want this to be a pleasurable experience, rather than one that will cause you harm, even if it is only a small "flesh wound" for lack of a better term.
EDIT: I forgot to mention one thing… If you like the sensations that you can bring on (especially when you hit the prostate), you can work your way up gradually. If you choose to go far enough, I will tell you now that if you start going with all 4 fingers in and the thumb tucked under your fingers (pointed in the same way your fingers are), you will experience an interesting sensation that will almost feel like a block once you hit the knuckles. There is a way to get past this if you choose to go farther, but it will take some time and work. If you want to know more about how to get past this point and the things you can do once you do, let me know. I would be more than happy to give you some tips.
