Bf won't bottom anymore, and I'm a top
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My boyfriend and I have have been together for almost two years and are pretty serious. I don't think sex could ever get in the way of our relationship, but it is a bit of an issue.
He used to bottom and I topped and we both seemed to enjoy it. He wanted to try topping me and so I reluctantly let him, havening never bottomed before. As I expected, I didn't enjoy it psychologically. I continued topping him until a few months ago when he said he didn't really enjoy bottoming anymore. Obviously I completely respected his decision and didn't want to pressure him, especially considering I hadn't been willing to bottom for him.
I'm still really attracted to him, and we're very intimate. But sex-wise, we now just do oral and hands and stuff, which is fine, but, for me at least, it gets a little boring. I feel the spark has gone from our sex life which is sad because we're only in our early 20s. Sex is less frequent than it used to be and can feel like an obligation/routine rather than something exciting. I try not to, but sometimes I'd rather just watch porn.
It's a shame because I really enjoyed topping him and I miss it. At the same time I feel bad for him that I won't bottom. I know it would get less painful with practice, but the whole idea of bottoming doesn't turn me on. We both see me as the more 'masc'/dominant of the two of us and I'm quite a lot more built than him, and I think that is probably partly why bottoming doesn't appeal to me.
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Cum to me. I would never ever top my husband. We have been together since 1993. And he is top and i bottom…..100% bottom
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There's obviously a communication issue here.
Do you know the reasons your bf isn't attracted to bottoming as he used to? Can't you two sit down and talk about it, reaching an agreement?
You mentioned that you consider being the most masculine of the two as one reason you guys had to your roles in bed. Well, appearance just gives out a signal allowing what to expect from the encounter, which can be far from the truth, there are masculine guys, very masculine guys who love to bottom.
Maybe you have issues, you think that bottoming diminishes your masculinity in some way…that's bullshit created by heterocentric society which tries to equate being in the 'passive role' as being weak and subservient. You should work on that.
Also, there's more in the bedroom than just penetration, you guys seem pretty dull regarding sexual imagination and such...the 'spark' is built through the foreplay, the ambient, the mood...when you are all wild with excitement you want fullfilment, who bottoms and who tops becomes less important.
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But he said that he didn't enjoy it… I tried to stick something up in my ass maybe 5-6 times in my life, different types and sizes, but I didn't enjoy it... if I have to do something I don't like for the rest of my life to be with someone I'd rather choose someone with whom I can do something we both enjoy... If it's a theatre play we probably like the same thing, if it's sex and I'm top, the other has to be a girl, a bottom or at least versatile...
About the oral I agree with Eridanos... fucking is not the only thing in a sexual intercourse. For example speaking of men I'm more excited by muscle worship or oral than penetration. Foreplay for me (kissing, cuddling, etc...) is not much important to me because my relationship with men is mostly physical, not emotional.
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If you are in a monogamous relationship you really need to speak to your boyfriend about your concerns and really listen to each other and try to understand and appreciate your needs and the needs of your partner. If you are in an open relationship then hit me up for a three-way cuz I'll take both yo dicks up ma ass… :ride: :anal2:
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maybe its time to get fucked
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Your BF has been bottomed for many times for you, why you did not do that for him?