Open relationships / marriages…
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What’re your thoughts on them? Are you in one? Would you be in One? Discuss.
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Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel has some great points about marriages, about which she says that the more we seek absolute intimacy or monogamy, the less the passion will be. However, a healthy relationship requires some degree of intimacy or at least emotional vulnerability/"stakes" in order to feel meaningful. We hence have to make a trade-off between hot sex and emotional security, and depending on what you want in a relationship (just mindless but hot sex versus comfortable silences and emotional intimacy), open relationships and varying degrees of short-term dalliances may be better for you.
Ultimately, the situation depends on the people in the couple and what they prioritise.
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Open relationships are not for everyone. Both persons must be fully in agreement.There should be a discussion about the rules or boundries that define the openness of your relationship.
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open relationships are extremely difficult to pull off long term because, at least in my own experiences, one party usually winds up wanting the relationship to become monogamous. unless both people are interested in making the commitment to not see other people, you can't expect to be able to change the rules years into the relationship, when they were already established by you and your partner. it's my guesstimate that open relationships have lead to a lot of heartache.
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I don't think Open relationships can lead a marriage. it's only for slut and whore (no offend).
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I am married. Because of my health issues, I was not able to perform sexually. My husband and I decided to have an open marriage with certain rules. I did not want him to be without sex because I was ill.
So open relationships are not always about men being sluts. Some of you guys are so limited in your thinking.
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Well, offense taken! I was in an open relationship and am now in an open marriage with my husband, and none of us is a slut or a whore. Your disrespect for other people's love shows what kind of a person you are, @beeboo
for me share lover or partner with others I must say no. something can’t be shared. I can’t imagine if my wife betrayed me. if my last post offended you. I must apologize.
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I don't think it's something for me but I do think it can work for others. It requires a lot of trust and security.
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There are open relationships then there are 'I want to be with you so i'll pretend to be ok with it'.
Even three-ways can be problematic. Same issue.
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Maybe we can all agree on the following statements:
1. Neither closed nor open relationships are for everyone.
2. In either of those cases all parties included have to consent to the status of the relationship and to agree on its conditions.
3. Both closed and open relationships deserve the same amount of respect.
4. Only because I cannot imagine to live my life like the next person, that does not mean that his or her way of life is wrong.:crazy2:
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there shouldnt be any rules, for as long no one is hurting anyone then it is all good
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I've never been married, but I intend on marrying the guy i'm with now. I don't think I could do an open relationship with him. I'm far too needy and jealous haha
I've tried to be in an open relationship, but I couldn't do it, and that was with someone I didn't really care about.
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Only work if both parts of the open relationship feel the same way. Many open relationships are a recipe for disaster because resentment and jealousy build due to miscommunication. It can be… messy.
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there shouldnt be any rules, for as long no one is hurting anyone then it is all good
Do not do anything that will hurt the other person is a rule. How does one know that what one has done/will do has/will hurt the other person? You HAVE TO TALK about it. That is also a rule.
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My spouse and I were both sluts when we met 39 years ago and fortunately for us an open relationship has worked all these years. Talking about our other sexual encounters has made our sex life even better. Sometimes we have shared others with each other or enjoyed watching each other having sex with others.
