What the hell do you say during sex?
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I was hoping I could get some advice.
I am pretty much silent during sex. i don't see that as a problem necessarily but it does get a bit awkward when I'm with a verbal bottom.one of my exes remarked that they would find it a bit more reassuring that I'm actually interested.
my problem is I have no idea what to say. Everything in my head either sounds either
creepy, pornesque fake or awkward.Any tips?
Even moaning seems a bit wierd to me. -
Most people do not realize that the soundtrack in commercial porn is no more linked to what is happening than in any other commercial movie or television show. When a door slams, footsteps approach, a telephone rings, everyone in a club is dancing to music, what is going on for the actors and cameraman is not what the viewer ends up hearing. That dance scene is almost certainly filmed in silence. The car you see approaching and going away has had its noises enhanced or replaced. And so on. There is also something in the endless end credits for the ADRs– Additional Dialogue Recording-- where a crowd "walla" is added, muffled speech is redone for clarity, and dialogue may even be altered, as in television broadcasts of hardened repeat felons living the rest of their lives in captivity saying things to each other like, "I'll kick your behind" or "Go amuse yourself and the horse you rode in on." No "ass" or "fuck" in the Land of the Free, nosir.
Nonetheless, what you typically hear in porn videos is not esp. creative. "Give it to me, give it to me" and "Do you want this big cock in your ass?" and "You like this big cock fucking your tight ass, don't you?" Etc. Endless cliches that, like the stimulating sounds of moans and groans, may well be added later. Still, those cliches can be better than making yr partner wonder whether you are still awake or just too polite to say he is doing it all wrong.
Without resorting to standard nonsense or robotic praise, "Yeah, suck it, man. Take it all," you can offer occasional cries of encouragement, and "Oh, yeah, do it." and "Yeah, like that. Don't stop" can spur on the partner to greater efforts and potentially greater, more satisfactory orgasms. Why, some people, being concerned for their partner's enjoyment, might even say ahead of time, "I'm not very verbal, but unless I shriek out the safe word, everything is fine and you should keep right on doing what is pleasing me too much for me to say a thing because I'm too busy enjoying everything you do."
Or you can settle for the ever popular hilarity of "Is it in yet?"
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I would certainly try to avoid the cliché but also not worry so much. The greates sexual experience are the times where you can just let go. Try to really feel what you're partner is doing and try to give an expression to that sensation. A simple Ah, or occasional grunt can be enough. Connect with your inner cave man and let go, there are absolutely no wrongs here.
Also try to listen to your partner and enter the conversation hehe, not only words but also moans/grunts may apply here.
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I can hardly get off without some dirty talk. I like my sex to be rough, hard and nasty, though. I love to hear the top guy tell me how hot my hole is, how hard it makes his dick etc… Problem is, my husband sucks at this, so I end up telling him to tell me about one of his fucks before he met me. I LOVE THAT!! :cheesy2: Or, I ask him to talk about one of our threesomes we have had.
-- a Verbal Bottom with a Too-quiet Top Husband -
When Bobby or others suck off a hot str8 Marine, they can start out v nervous and uptite but end up having a climax that seems to be a primordial revelation of cosmic proportions. That's great. Love it, and happy that the poor fool of a stud is at least getting once a glimpse of the paradise he will never forget, even if he never enters that realm again.
What really hurts, though, are the hard-cocked wonderstud trained killers who are so out of touch with their physical and emotional bodies (look up Character Armor for a hint – "A sexually repressed society will resort to violence." -- Wilhelm Reich) that they cum in silence like the night, and instead of their whole body convulsing because it is totally engaged (like Simon Rex wanking without reserve or hesitation, holding nothing back), they stay as frozen as iron, lest they betray a hint of pleasure or humanity, as if it were forbidden to enjoy an orgasm because, dunno why, maybe they think it will make them look weak if they allow themselves an uninhibited animal response where they are totally out of control and in the grip of the non-rational, all-consuming power of their lizard brain, their wild id.
There are instructional materials among the torrents both for reading and for watching where one may, as Woody Allen said of fapping, practice at home alone. Again, Simon Rex demonstrated such enthusiastic enjoyment and verisimilitude in the way he stroked his beautiful rod and engaged his whole physique in participating and assisting his well practiced self-pleasuring.
A drop of wine, a red filter on the lights, a carefully selected sent in the air before excited pheremones are released, some kissing or other overt signs (and declarations? indications?) of affection can get things off to a good start. And if you live where medical science triumphs over the Public Victorian suspicion that someone, somewhere might be having a good time, there are flowering plants than are generally considered effective to enhance a more profound presence in a more enjoyably concentrated activity in which two people overwhelm their senses together without allowing any censorious hesitation in their mind to intrude on the spontaneous rhythms and experienced skills of mindless abandonment to the ancient drives built into our DNA.
Btw, did you know the reference to "self-pleasuring" just before the previous paragraph? Maybe it is MTV or increasingly daring carnal comedies celebrating sex drives and so on, but do you remember when that very same act of wanking, bashing the bishop, painting the ceiling white (and hundreds of other euphemisms) was generally known as self-abuse? Some people (only males, of course) abused themselves on wakeup, getting off to a good start for the day by taking advantage of morningwood. Some used self-abuse to put the day's tensions and pressures away and ensure a good night's sleep. And then there have always been seized opportunities at school, at play, in restrooms (public or otherwise), sitting bored in an automobile....
But now that is no longer considered a sign one is abusing oneself, but that one is indulging one's solo self in solo pleasuring as mood and chance align for lusty and potent lads of any age. Suggests to me that the negative connotation is now largely gone (though there is another thread on these boards where some dude rather panics that giving himself two orgasms a week by hand is flirting with medical and psychological danger). Perhaps letting the vocal chords engage with partnered sex may also become more tolerated, even embraced, so that enough noise to wake the dead, however inconvenient in terms of discretion or neighborliness, is considered a Good Thing that is well worth practicing.
Whether you like telling yourself a story or not (you really want this, don't you? Ohh, I love sucking your nipples and washing your balls in my mouth) words and wordless sounds can keep a pair together and coordinated to enhance each other's pleasure. And besides, just as a karate experts shouts as his hand strikes and breaks a board, and just as tennis pros deliberately go "oof" when they strike the ball with their racket (it increases speed by a measurable amount), the same result might make for more powerful ejaculation at the moment of truth.
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Fuck that ass, fuck me harder… brazilian portuguese dirty talking is the best, we have so many dirty words for everything >:D, i love to hear a top saying - quer tomar leitinho? : want me to cum in your mouth? lol
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I think it's important to encourage and communicate during sex. Even if you're letting someone how much you love what they are doing, or giving them a guide to what you would like. Sometimes "oh god that feels so good when…" can do wonders for your partner, and if you are skilled in dirty talk and your partner gets off on that it really -really- can spice things up. Moaning, grunting, sometimes just responding to stimuli is quite the aphrodisiac for him. Also, if you get so good at it, you can probably get yourself off too XD
