What Is Gay Sex?
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If I asked this some other time, i don't recall reading any answers, so… It's deja vu! It's deja vu!
Started out interested in dicks, wanting to touch them and suck them and swallow their juice. That instinct was natural, innate, and was familiar to me before I even knew what a blowjob was. When some men wanted to fuck me, I went along, but it was not till years later I actively sought such a thing. Even then, none of the dudes gave me any reason to believe there was actually anything in it for me, though once I did start to feel like I was masturbating and enjoyed the feeling, which went away as soon as the fucker finished making his deposit.
Turns out that fucking is not a one-way activity, and as maybe everybody (here) knows, being a bottom is never a passive act. Me, I never wanted to penetrate, not even to get sucked off, so when that happened, it was always because someone aggressively made it happen. Bless them all. Mostly, all I wanted was the experience of being dicked by another man, reveling in his macho, masculinity, and virility. All of which is rather more the emotional content of the act of being drilled by a horny alpha top, than a physically sexual stimulus.
Seems to me men are born to breed, or at least go through the motions, whether with their fist, a cantaloupe, a woman, or whatever they can inseminate, so I feel pretty much an anomaly that I rarely penetrated anyone.
Okay, so a US president famously got blown in his office and claimed "I did not have sex with that woman." Apparently lots of "these kidz today" think blowjobs are not sex, and getting sucked off is not cheating on their partner bf or gf. An attractive youth in Southern California being interviewed on camera prior to being filmed having a wank, said he had never had sex with another man, only women, but he'd had blowjobs before. Upon inquiry, he made it clear that what he meant was that he had never been fucked.
So, I find all this v confusing. What do most sexually active gay men actually DO? Does "everyone" get sucked (or maybe suck) more often than they are fucking/fucked because it is a simpler activity just logistically, faster, etc. or as a warm-up to "real" (anal) sex? And is anal sex the point? All the kissing and groping and touching and sucking and rimming are part of the process of establishing terms of trust and consideration and, of course, preparing the hole to facilitate easy entry, which IS what it is all about?
A majority of mm porn does feature oral sex to a point short of completion and prior to invading the opposite side, but that is no evidence of what "really" goes on between men at play, whether sucking is a substitute or is preparation. After all, Greek vases suggest all those men did was intercrural, and if we are to believe almost every ejaculation involving two men or a man and a woman is completed after the dick is removed so that the evidence is revealed by a "money shot" on a face or ass or some other highly visible landing pad. Hell, even most barebacking scenes CLAIMING deep squirting, etc. etc. involve the visible payload, though possibly the spent or half-spent penis is stuck back where it should have stayed if max satisfaction was the point rather than a good show for the punters.
So what is it? When people found out I was gay (often before I figured out that the label amply and fairly described what I wanted to do), did they all assume I was top, bottom, or versatile? Hearing soi-disant "Christians" rant about gay marriage, they all seem to think it is about anal sex.
This is not a question about what "gay" is emotionally or intellectually, aesthetically or historically, but about what queers DO. What I do know is that sucking is most of what I've done-- and for most of my life, pretty much all I really wanted. Schoolmates I've known from puberty also had an oral fixation and in a couple of cases, also found the alternative difficult and painful, so that was that.
But really I have no idea what anyone else knows or does. And all you have to do is watch solo masturbation by enough dudes to know that there is a wide range of postures, grips, stimulus, delivery point, and ways to process or dispose of the ejaculate. Probably there are at least as many variations in what and how any other sperm release is carried out, but if enough people would weigh in, there might turn out to be some patterns.
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is just sex
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Any sexual act performed while thinking about a person of masculine gender or with a person of masculine gender is gay sex. Act could be something simple like pinching your nipples, rubbing your crotch…or something intense like being fucked, getting a handjob, being kissed, being muscle worshipped etc etc.