What to do? i'm still single!
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In my 20s I wanted to be "in a relationship." I got depressed because I wasn't in one. Now in my 30s and after being in 2 long term relationships, I realized I wanted to be "in a relationship" because I wanted validation. Me being in that mindset created problems in both relationships. Now I'm single and enjoying it. Before I venture in a new relationship, I want to be in a good mental and spiritual place. I encourage you to do the same. To me, starting there will draw the right guys to you when it's time.
Also, I wouldn't obsess over your looks and body. Taking care of yourself, being fit, comfortable with yourself and confident will surely draw some good guys to you.
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Be yourself. Just go out more maybe alone or with a group of friends and maybe you will meet someone.
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and just to add, I found both of my partners when I wasn't looking. Before I was trying very hard and nothing "quality" was happening.
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Two years ago, my 9 year old relationship just ended abruptly. I am 32 years old and I was with a guy who was 67 (when it all ended). Needless to say, the beginning was harsh and after a year I was ready to commit myself again. I was wrong. I realized how much the dating world has change. Most people are there to collect guys, rather than appreciating them.
Being into older guys I always thought it's easier to find someone but I was wrong. When I realized that a relationship was not going to be easy, I just ignored all dating websites and deleted everything and start focusing on going out, pursuing my hobbies and meeting my close friends as much as I could. Nowadays, I say my life is more fulfilled this way rather than being in a relationship.
I come from a very small country (Malta, and yes I know it says Ireland on my profile, and I don't know how that happened) and since we only have a population of a little over 450,000 that makes it even more difficult to find someone.
So focus on yourself, do things you love doing and surround yourself with friends (real friends) and you will start being happy again!
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Hm… I remember I was single for some time, for 6 years. When I was 20, as I began to be more comfortable with my sexuality (while still keeping it secret, of course), I tried so hard to find that someone, only to have them rejected me, or had no further feelings than just being older brothers. Yes, here, in Indonesia, most gays, if they find that they feel attached to other guys, they may love them but not as lovers, but instead as brothers, which sometimes I couldn't quite comprehend, whether they said that because they did consider me as their brother and have no interest in me as a lover, or they didn't really want to be in a serious relationship, as of yet. Either way, I know how it feels to have a one sided feeling, to love, but not beloved. So after all of those, I moved on and just enjoyed my life and tried to be more productive. It has been working fine for me until he came to my life.
I met my current boyfriend unexpectedly, and it was via facebook. I didn't think about being in a relationship or anything that time. I didn't even start to have feelings for him until I got to know him for more than a year and finally met him directly. Guess maybe the right one indeed often come when we're not trying too hard looking for them after all.
I still do what I like to do though. Life doesn't revolve around love partners. It's kinda odd how many youngsters, both gays and straights alike, seem to be easily getting depressed of they are single, it's like having girlfriends/boyfriends is a must and being single is a disgrace. I've seen how many people refuse to go out on weekends and solely waiting themselves to be asked to go out with someone, if they're bored half to death and really want to go out shopping and others, yet they don't want to ask or invite their friends first. Weird. Or maybe because I'm not limited to be in company and used to hang out on my own. I'm cool going out alone or with others. At least I'm enjoying things that I like rather than self-pitying myself for having no one to ask me to hang out.
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the OP is just talking about "dating guys".. dating means in my country having dinner + sex. That's "dating". if you wanna date, there are countless app, site to do that. Many many guys say they date when in reality they just fuck. my best friend will never ever admit he just fucks around , no, he says he "dates" : meaning he meet a guy, go to the movies fuck and that's all and if they are lucky they see each other for like a week or 2 .. 2 months at most.. with no strings attached.. meaning they do that with several others guys at the same time but not telling each other they actually "dates " others. So that's dating. I personally call that a "plan cul " or sex date.. but gays are very hypocrite even to themselves..
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gaypraha2, it sounds like your best friend is nothing but a cheap filthy slut. Probably gets everything paid as well.
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I do agree with " filthy slut" , thats why I like him.. but "cheap"… meh.... BTW he does professional porn and is paid quite a lot for that
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Don't put too much pressure on being in a relationship, you already overthink small things and that will only do more damage then help, just go on dates, even with guys you meet on grindr or other apps and see what's gonna happen, I met a lot of great guys there and of course few bad ones, but grindr is good for someone who's afraid to just go up to a guy in a bar and chat him up. Do not go on dates thinking this could be a relationship, just relax and enjoy the good parts and the bad parts of dating.
When it comes to looks, it's subjective, so you might think you're average but other guys might look at you and see something very different. -
Even though you may feel lonely, it don't mean you aren't happy with it. You would find the right one at the right time.
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Ah, just because you're average to yourself doesn't mean you're not above average or below for someone else. Have you tried making profile on some dating sites? That could help you and don't take rejections personal - it's just that someone is not interested and that's all. And I'll give you little "advance" answer: Stop seeking for love and start offering love, then things will come by themselves.
