Stop cruising restrooms
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Hi all, I live in Mauritius - a rather conservative, homophobic country. When I wanna hookup with other guys, I cruise restroooms. Today itself, I got sucked by a guy. After that I returned to same restroom to jerk off with another man . And I returned after 2 - 3 hours, where I let myself to be jerked off by another guy. I am now feeling bad for my lewd behaviour. Also, one thing which really pissed me off and made myself think that I am risking shaming my family and myself on being caught is that as I was walking alone, a group of three flamboyant fems sitting outside the restroom started calling me handsome, and to come talk with them. I looked down and went away. That was very embarrassing to know that such sissies know that I am gay. I feel so bad. Imagine that one day, I am in the company of friends or family and I get such unwelcome advances from effeminate gays in front of them.
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I can understand where you're coming from. There's one thing that I will say to that though. NEVER stop being yourself. If people are going to look down at you or otherwise stare, I say make it worth their while. More often than not, men who act all homophobic are actually in denial that they do have at least some sexual attraction to men themselves, but are too ashamed to admit it to anyone for some reason. If they're gonna stare, give them something to stare at hehe….
That being said, I would take it as a compliment that such people notice you. That generally is a sign of interest, even though you may not necessarily be interested in them.
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I can understand where you're coming from. There's one thing that I will say to that though. NEVER stop being yourself. If people are going to look down at you or otherwise stare, I say make it worth their while. More often than not, men who act all homophobic are actually in denial that they do have at least some sexual attraction to men themselves, but are too ashamed to admit it to anyone for some reason. If they're gonna stare, give them something to stare at hehe….
That being said, I would take it as a compliment that such people notice you. That generally is a sign of interest, even though you may not necessarily be interested in them.
I seriously intend to emigrate to Canada in roughly two years time. From what I have researched on the internet, Canada generally is more accepting of lgbt folks. You confirm?
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The way you talk about these 'fem' guys is extremelly harsh. Have you thought about that? You fear prejudice, but you are discriminating them and using very strong words to talk about them. In which way are you acting diferently from those that would discriminate you if they discovered you are gay?
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The way you talk about these 'fem' guys is extremelly harsh. Have you thought about that? You fear prejudice, but you are discriminating them and using very strong words to talk about them. In which way are you acting diferently from those that would discriminate you if they discovered you are gay?
He mentioned he lives in Mauritius, which based on my few minutes of research, is a multiethnic but quite religious nation, and seems to be rather withdrawn from the rest of the world culturally, except for their various colonial stages (apparently they've been possessed by the French, Dutch AND English at some point), so it's practically expected for them to be ass-backwards in terms of civil liberties. Which means it's probably been deeply embedded into OP's mind since birth. Gays can be self-loathing in much the same way as the bigots from the outside can, it's just a matter of societal upbringing. Thankfully, that can usually be fixed rather quickly by a change of environment, which he said he plans on doing. Canada will be a good place to get that worked out of you, lol.
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Gays are definitely more accepting in Vancouver and Toronto than where you are from. When I went to Toronto there was a gay event (a gay movie showing at the theatre) and every one was lined up holding hands in public. It's also accepting in the U.S., most states. It's getting better and better each day where people don't have to hide it much. You just have to know your surrounding and act respectable.
Fems are cool people. Well let me rephrase that. I shouldn't generalize because there are some fems that are loud and too in your face. Anyway, I used to feel weird about fems when I was younger. I used to work with a fem guy. Every one knew he was gay. One day he walked in to work with a black eye. He told one of the managers that a guy punched him because he was gay. The manager just hugged him. At the time, I didn't know how to feel, but deep down I felt bad for the guy. Getting beat up because of who you are is not cool. It's not his fault he acts feminine. It's just who he is. I didn't really realize that until I started to grow up. Accept who you are and who others are. Not every one can be the same then the world would just be mundane.
As for you, to be honest, I'm not feminine, but I would give you weird looks if I knew you were coming out of a seedy cruisy restroom lol. I know you're horny and all, but going to a restroom to blow your load with three fems sitting outside. What do you think the fems are even doing there? I'm sure the place is not a secret haha.
Anyway, if Mauritius is really conservative, I suggest you find someone you trust and hookup like friends with benefits. At least you're getting your quick fix without putting yourself in danger. Good luck with everything.
Hi all, I live in Mauritius - a rather conservative, homophobic country. When I wanna hookup with other guys, I cruise restroooms. Today itself, I got sucked by a guy. After that I returned to same restroom to jerk off with another man . And I returned after 2 - 3 hours, where I let myself to be jerked off by another guy. I am now feeling bad for my lewd behaviour. Also, one thing which really pissed me off and made myself think that I am risking shaming my family and myself on being caught is that as I was walking alone, a group of three flamboyant fems sitting outside the restroom started calling me handsome, and to come talk with them. I looked down and went away. That was very embarrassing to know that such sissies know that I am gay. I feel so bad. Imagine that one day, I am in the company of friends or family and I get such unwelcome advances from effeminate gays in front of them.
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I concede that I am being harsh by using the derogatory term fems. Its true that I have had a rather religious upbringing. And after suffering years of bullying, name calling starting from high school, I make great effort to be straight acting. I have just completed my degree in mathematics and intend to go for still higher studies. I feel bad seeing feminine guys tarnishing lgbt community and making us feel weak and less capable by acting more feminine and flamboyant than chicks.
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I concede that I am being harsh by using the derogatory term fems. Its true that I have had a rather religious upbringing. And after suffering years of bullying, name calling starting from high school, I make great effort to be straight acting. I have just completed my degree in mathematics and intend to go for still higher studies. I feel bad seeing feminine guys tarnishing lgbt community and making us feel weak and less capable by acting more feminine and flamboyant than chicks.
I think that's quite an appalling attitude to have.
If you can't even accept other gay men, who may or may not be straight acting (why would they need to act straight when they are in fact gay?), then I have no pity for you with regard to any discrimination you might face.
If gay men want acceptance and tolerance then they had better practice what they preach.
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And I feel bad seeing straight acting gays who are cocksucking others in public restrooms.
Who puts you in a position of being allowed to judge others, Kumar?
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And I feel bad seeing straight acting gays who are cocksucking others in public restrooms.
Who puts you in a position of being allowed to judge others, Kumar?
You are right, I don't have the right to be so judgmental.
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I seriously intend to emigrate to Canada in roughly two years time. From what I have researched on the internet, Canada generally is more accepting of lgbt folks. You confirm?
I can definitely confirm this. There are some more remote areas where people just don't talk about such things, but on the most part, nobody in Canada cares if you're gay. Most of them have the approach of "as long as you're not trying to suck my dick, life is good".
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kumar777, I am quite shocked by some things you are saying about fems and flamboyance. But I'm trying to be understandful. Here is a piece of advice, if you are open to it, of course - which I belive, you may be -: work on your judgements. Think about them. Think about how they could aply to you and hurt you. Think about how they are directed thowards people who feel, who suffer, who laugh, who are people, like everyone else. Empathy, I believe, is the right word for it, and the right thing to pursue. Besides, those people don't shame the gay movement, they don't make it feel weaker. Femininity is not a synonym for weakness. The sheer fact that they are men who act in a feminine way in a super conservative country makes them VERY strong! Think about that!
Apart from that, I wish you luck on dealing with your dificulties. We all here, in one way or another, have our dificulties, no matter where in the World we are. -
kumar777, I am quite shocked by some things you are saying about fems and flamboyance. But I'm trying to be understandful. Here is a piece of advice, if you are open to it, of course - which I belive, you may be -: work on your judgements. Think about them. Think about how they could aply to you and hurt you. Think about how they are directed thowards people who feel, who suffer, who laugh, who are people, like everyone else. Empathy, I believe, is the right word for it, and the right thing to pursue. Besides, those people don't shame the gay movement, they don't make it feel weaker. Femininity is not a synonym for weakness. The sheer fact that they are men who act in a feminine way in a super conservative country makes them VERY strong! Think about that!
Apart from that, I wish you luck on dealing with your dificulties. We all here, in one way or another, have our dificulties, no matter where in the World we are.You are right. It is so wrong of me to label people so easily. Its their way of life and I should respect it
