Cross-Generation Sexual Relationships
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There are people who like their partners to be older, even Much older. Sometimes it is a matter of wanting someone to look up to, a man who knows more than one's cohort. Or maybe it comes from a time when a very young man finds that others as close to puberty as he is are not fully mature physically. Whatever it is, some men are attracted to olders. Maybe wisdom, maybe something else. Not talking about a sugar daddy who is convenient for financial reasons.
Similarly, and equally obviously, what dog lover does not like puppies? It is common enough in adverts for young and handsome men to flog the product, these days often with a bit of scruff that might almost make them look younger. But whether those who are barely of legal age, whatever that may be where they are, are of interest, or men in the first quarter or third of life, it is athletes and others – Warwick Rowers, Olympians, members of boy bands, who most often sought via dating sites.
What I'm trying to get to is that outside of some father-son role play that turns up on this site a lot, there are, in fact, older and younger people who make it as a couple. Tom Daley, 20, and Dustin Lance Black, almost exactly twice his age, for example. Or Stephen Fry marrying Elliott Spencer, 27, who is three decades younger.
Mostly these are not relationships that get a lot of media attention apart from celebrity gawking, but I wonder how common they are in real life. Are any of you in such a relationship? Know anyone who is? Any idea whether such connections are stable or perhaps subject to more pressures than for people who are roughly contemporaries?
This is a topic of more than academic interest for me, and anyone who knows something relevant, has some sources to mention, or who can shed light on the problems and possibilities would be quite helpful in generating a discussion.
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The age differential gradually becomes less of an issue the older the younger man is and so a relationship between a 30 and 45-year-old stands a better chance of reasonable success because the younger man is more mature,and thus has more to share with the older partner.
More to the point, one can see why a 30-year-old might have things in common with someone in their 40s.
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When I met my husband I was 28 and he was 51. Despite the age difference we share similar tastes, likes and dislikes…
We are more than ten years together.
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When I met my husband I was 28 and he was 51. Despite the age difference we share similar tastes, likes and dislikes…
We are more than ten years together.
That's the thing.
It seems that the age gap makes people have different views/opinions because of the era they grew up in.
In the UK, you can't shut up anyone over say, 60 with the "when I was in the war" crap. It doesn't make me hard, except for my fists ready to punch them in the head.
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Any idea whether such connections are stable or perhaps subject to more pressures than for people who are roughly contemporaries?
Such relationships are not stable as everything has an expiration date, whether it's ones appearance, money in the pocket or personality. Sure, it's all flowers and candy at the beginning when you meet someone, but once it becomes stale be prepared to say goodbye. This is valid for any relationship, even more so for cross-generation.
People constantly have a fear of being single as if it's some kind of disease. It's puzzling to me how so many people yearn for lack of freedom and then afterwards develop the urge to fight for freedom. Evolution truly really is a slow process.
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When I met my husband I was 28 and he was 51. Despite the age difference we share similar tastes, likes and dislikes…
We are more than ten years together.
Well done..
:cool2:
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Such relationships are not stable as everything has an expiration date, whether it's ones appearance, money in the pocket or personality. Sure, it's all flowers and candy at the beginning when you meet someone, but once it becomes stale be prepared to say goodbye. This is valid for any relationship, even more so for cross-generation.
People constantly have a fear of being single as if it's some kind of disease. It's puzzling to me how so many people yearn for lack of freedom and then afterwards develop the urge to fight for freedom. Evolution truly really is a slow process.
::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
My boyfriend was twice my age when we met. I was 19 and came on to him, wouldn't take no for an answer. He had apparently never dated anyone 2 years younger than himself, but had dated someone 8 years older.
It's never been anything remotely like a father-son relationship, at least from my perspective. We help and give advice to each other as any other couple would. The stereotype seems to be that older men corrupt younger lovers, but if anything, I've introduced him to some new stuff. >:D
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Ages 27 and 68 may seem like a considerable gap, but the two do not look like a couple, so that controversy does not arise. Since the younger man is fully mature in his attitude, self-supporting, and hard working, he is a great, fun companion to the older man. One admires youth, the other admires wisdom and knowledge. Both have v different life experiences, and both are thrilled to have such a sensitive and thoughtful lover devoted to their pleasure. Also, both have introduced the other to experiences and erogenous zones previously unknown.
No relationship is guaranteed forever, but my initial question was whether there was anything specific about such an age gap that would make for instability beyond what often happens to people in relationships. Passing strangers unaware of the sexual/emotional connection are not an issue either, but what about friends and others in the know, gay or not?
Particularly those who have lived as a couple for some time, what kind of stress has there been, if any? Do people accuse one of robbing the cradle and one of being in search of a meal ticket? Are there remarks of disapproval? Conversations in which the age gap is v much under discussion and not easily accepted?
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Ages 27 and 68 may seem like a considerable gap, but the two do not look like a couple, so that controversy does not arise. Since the younger man is fully mature in his attitude, self-supporting, and hard working, he is a great, fun companion to the older man. One admires youth, the other admires wisdom and knowledge. Both have v different life experiences, and both are thrilled to have such a sensitive and thoughtful lover devoted to their pleasure. Also, both have introduced the other to experiences and erogenous zones previously unknown.
No relationship is guaranteed forever, but my initial question was whether there was anything specific about such an age gap that would make for instability beyond what often happens to people in relationships. Passing strangers unaware of the sexual/emotional connection are not an issue either, but what about friends and others in the know, gay or not?
Particularly those who have lived as a couple for some time, what kind of stress has there been, if any? Do people accuse one of robbing the cradle and one of being in search of a meal ticket? Are there remarks of disapproval? Conversations in which the age gap is v much under discussion and not easily accepted?
Well stated questions..
I'm looking forward to seeing posts regarding those issues!
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Well, as I mentioned above we have a gap of 23 years and I'm the younger one. Some of my younger friends expressed concerns that our sex life is going to vanish within a couple of years. My parents were concerned that I will never have kids–-not because I'm gay but rather because my spouse already had grown-up children of his own and will not be interested in trying to raise children with me. Since I was fully self-supporting when we met the "meal ticket" issue was never actually raised except for some random guys at a gay bar that more or less looked at me as a hooker
We had to make some specific arrangements: I guess that cross-generation straight couples have the same kinds of issues. For instance, we have taken a mortgage together but I'm the sole owner of our house. Otherwise, should my husband pass away before me, his kids will inherit 2/3 of the house and while I will be allowed to live there as long as a I like, I would not be able to sell the house. Of course, me being the sole owner of the house makes my husband extremely vulnerable: should I decided to divorce him, he'll have to somehow pay his part of the mortgage but will have no property at all.
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My husband is 15 years older. We started dating 1993 when i was 19. We are still together….
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when I was 25 I dated a guy 17 years older than me. He was very successful, and in fashion publishing. I made a big thing about paying my own way because I was worried that people would think I was there for the money. He broke up with me in the end as he said he didn't find 60 year old men attractive, and i won't at his age either. Broke my heart at the time, but now with the best man ever whose 4 years my senior.
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Currently ina realtionship I just turned 31 and he turned 19 six months prior but I have to admit that the age difference does scare me. He admits to having daddy issues and honestly Im a little scared that he will not want me once he gets over those issues but for right now im enjoying the relationship for what it is.
Everyone else but the two of us seem to have issues about money but honestly other then choosing to pay his phone bill a few days early (and him insisting of paying it back) I have never given him more then $10 at a time for gas or something… I will never understand why other people worry about your money more then you!
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When there is true love… Age is just a number and should not get in the way... Don't matter what others say or think.
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When I was a teenager (im 39 now) i feel more attracted to grown men. They seemed more mature in my eyes (it was only a perception, of course, as age doesn't necessarily mean maturity). Now I look at a nice 20 something´s butt and drool. Still like men of all ages though.
